as Page 1012 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Lance Armstrong Begins His Second Act
Now that Lance Armstrong is out from under the federal fraud case against him, he’s started to more fully step into the public eye, a process which was always going to be fraught with contradictions for someone as famous and reviled as Armstrong. He seems done with being a world-class asshole, thoug...
Simone Biles Makes The Absurd Look Routine<em></em>
Simone Biles is set to return to competition this weekend at the U.S. Classic in Columbus, Ohio. And in the podium training session today, she showed that she’s set to pick up right where she left off at the Olympics—by winning everything in dominant fashion with incredible skills that virtually no ...
Looney Tunes Characters, Ranked
Who would do this? And why? Drew Magary would, was the thing, and was gonna, and I’d rather die than let his rankings speak for the site and wind up with history recording that the place where I work said “R&B/Soul” was the second-best Looney Tunes character of all time. So we turned it into a scien...
Mariners Demand $180 Million In Public Funds Or They Won't Sign Long-Term Lease
The Seattle Mariners have issued an ultimatum: Give them $180 million in taxpayer money for their 19-year-old stadium, or they won’t sign a long-term lease....
Actually John Wall Looks Great
As you may have heard, all of NBA media, and indeed pretty much all of the western world, came together yesterday to deride Washington Wizards all-star guard John Wall for, uh, proudly refusing to conform to our culture’s rigid expectations of what a successful professional male athlete must look li...
Phillies Go Yard Seven Times, Allow Us To Remember Some Guys
The Phillies scored five runs in their final five innings—one in each frame—to pull away from the Reds for a 9-4 win and extend their lead in the NL East to 2.5 games. The youngest team in baseball appears to be no fluke, or at least, they’re starting to be confident they’re not, which is maybe sort...
Aaron Judge Fractured His Wrist But Stayed In Long Enough To Hit A Single
Aaron Judge got plunked by a fastball up and in on Thursday, suffering a “chip fracture” on his right wrist. He will be out a minimum of three weeks, according to the Yankees....
Cubs Acquire Cole Hamels, Continue To Be Lucky Sons Of Bitches
The Cubs notched their 33rd come-from-behind victory of the season on Thursday, the most in the Majors, with a three-run ninth inning to beat the Diamondbacks, 7-6....
Kevin Durant Continues To Be Very Not Upset About His Tiff With Podcast Host C.J. McCollum<em></em>
Reporters, smelling blood in the water, caught up with Kevin Durant at a Team USA practice in Las Vegas to find out whether he was upset after a testy online exchange with Trail Blazers guard C.J. McCollum. First it appeared that Durant was playing dumb, but it soon became clear he was using advance...
Dude, John Wall, Whoa
Team USA Basketball Camp starts today in Las Vegas, which means of bunch of the top American basketball players get to hang out under the watchful eye of Gregg Popovich—and also, apparently, one massively exhausted party animal will be there too. The Wizards tweeted out a picture from the camp that ...
The Oakland A's Pulled Off Yet Another Stupidly Fun Comeback
The Oakland A’s are seemingly incapable of winning in a boring fashion. The team has spent the last week finding outlandish ways to victories, such as winning two straight walk-offs against the dreaded Giants, coming back from an eight-run deficit to win by three, and hanging 15 runs on the poor Ran...
Jon Heyman's Fingers Are Interfering With His MLB Scoops<em></em>
Fancred baseball scoopster Jon Heyman was either overwhelmed by the Brewers’ trade for reliever Joakim Soria, or his fingers were covered in Horsey sauce, because he had a lot of trouble reporting out the transaction....
Jameis Winston Says He Has "Grown And Learned" From The Experience Of Grabbing An Uber Driver's Crotch
Buccaneers quarterback Jameis Winston will miss the first three games of the upcoming season after being suspended for groping an Uber driver. As part of the terms of the suspension, Winston apologized to the driver for “the position he put her in.” All this came after Winston initially denied the d...
C.J. McCollum Gets Into Mild Online Spat With Recent Podcast Guest Kevin Durant
Kevin Durant—who joined the Warriors after squandering a 3-1 lead over them in the Western Conference Finals and also cultivated burner accounts to defend himself online—went on his friend C.J. McCollum’s podcast to dispense giggling wisdom such as, “Just keep playing man, don’t worry about what goe...
How Bad Does It Have To Get Before Rob Manfred Does Something About The Mets?
In peacetime, the MLB Commissioner’s job is hard to see. There is of course the chance that the work is heavy and harrowing, endless stressful executive demands and the sort of hardcore deal-making that would buckle the spines of lesser humans. But there is also the chance that it’s just a series of...
Ignore The Haters, Wearing A Bucket On Your Head At A Baseball Game Can Save Your Life
Picture yourself at a mid-summer baseball game. You’ve had a few cold ones. You’ve polished off the bucket of 24 slimy buffalo wings that you spent $84 on. You’re honestly starting to get a little bored. I’m gonna put this damn bucket on my head, you think. That will spice things up....
The Passion Of Dr. Narwhals Mating
With Drew still loose in the rustic wilds of Maine—we have received credible and deeply disturbing reports of him scampering up scenic mountains and devouring crustacean-centric meals in ways that horrified bystanders—the Deadcast casts its gaze back upon past glory this week. There’s a lot of glory...
Alex Bregman Is <i>Pissed</i> About This Fan Interference Call
The Rockies beat the Astros 3-2 on Charlie Blackmon’s first career walk-off home run, but there was nearly as much drama to be found earlier in the game, when Alex Bregman led off the sixth with what looked like a triple—until the Rockies challenged, and Bregman was called out due to fan interferenc...
May We All Love Our Jobs As Much As Vince Carter, Who Just Signed With The Hawks
Vince Carter is still not going away. Despite there being few (if any) reasons for Vinsanity to bust his ass in the NBA for any kind of lottery-level squad, the 41-year-old has signed a new contract to play his 21st NBA season with the lowly, rebuilding Atlanta Hawks. When they suit up for 2018-19, ...
Lawyers For Larry Nassar Say Judge Was Biased, Ask For Resentencing
Defense lawyers for disgraced former USA Gymnastics and Michigan State doctor Larry Nassar have asked that he get a new sentencing hearing in one of his criminal cases because, the lawyers believe, the judge who oversaw it made numerous statements that showed she had made up her mind beforehand. The...