as Page 1014 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How Is This Shit Legal
This past spring, Michael Ferro resigned as chairman of publicly traded media-looting hell-company Tronc, Inc., just ahead of the publication of sexual harassment allegations against him. As a parting gift, Tronc paid him $15 million, voluntarily bundling up the total value of a three-year consultin...
How I Became A Wizard, By Dwight Howard, Age 7
Last year, the Washington Wizards underperformed both out of sheer ingrained habit and because some of the most important people on the team just absolutely fucking hated some of the other most important people on the team. On Monday, the team introduced Dwight Howard, the veteran big man that the t...
Oakland A's Overcome Inconveniently Placed Chair, Win In Extra Innings<em></em>
The Oakland A’s are no strangers to bizarre late-game plays, and the San Francisco Giants forced extra innings in Oakland on Saturday night by scoring in rather controversial fashion. With the A’s only needing one more out to win the game, Hunter Pence smacked a grounder that snuck past first base a...
Dirks Nowitzki, Ranked
Alex Kennedy of HoopsHype has posted some excellent videos that track the evolution of specific player avatars in NBA video games over the last two decades. By far the most cursed sequence is Dirk Nowitzki’s. If you were expecting a steady, linear progression from “Not Dirk” to “Okay that’s Dirk” as...
Nationals Executive Has To Resort To Crowdfunding For Leukemia Treatment
Doug Harris, the Washington Nationals’ assistant GM and vice president of player personnel, holds a significant position in the organization—and yet, even an MLB team executive has to resort to asking the public to help cover his medical costs....
Masa Saito Was A Great Wrestler And Half Of Pro Wrestling's Most Famous Arrest
Masanori “Masa” Saito, known as Mr. Saito to a generation of American wrestling fans, passed away at the age of 76 last weekend following a long struggle with Parkinson’s disease. An Olympic freestyle wrestler in 1964, Saito was a legendarily hard man and among the most universally respected people ...
Manny Machado Knew He Had Been Traded A Week Ago
The worst-kept secret of the All-Star Game was that then-Orioles shortstop Manny Machado was heading to the Dodgers, in a trade that wouldn’t be announced until after the break—to avoid the awkwardness of Machado wearing an Orioles uniform in the ASG and head off the possibility of his story oversha...
Hernan Perez Plunked A Batter With The Softest Pitch You'll Ever See
The Brewers lost to the Dodgers 11-2 in nine innings on Sunday, but they stopped trying to win in the seventh, when utility man Hernan Perez went to the mound to throw two innings of relief. Perez, one of two Milwaukee position players to try their luck at hurling in the game, acquitted himself nice...
Sounds Like Everyone Should Lay Off That Cubs Fan Who "Stole" A Baseball From A Kid
Sunday outrage gives way to Monday fact-checking. If you were one of the people who (reasonably) got very angry at a short video clip appearing to show an adult Cubs fan intercepting a ball meant for a child, you can stand down. The man, it now appears, is a good guy who does not deserve this at all...
Daniel Poncedeleon Will Make His Major League Debut 14 Months After A Horrifying Injury
Cardinals pitcher Daniel Poncedeleon will be called up by St. Louis today and start tonight’s game against the Reds, making his big-league debut little more than a year after an injury suffered on the mound put his career—and maybe his life—in jeopardy. “Talk about a comeback story,” new Cards manag...
Just When You Think We've Reached Peak Mets, Noah Syndergaard Comes Down With "Hand, Foot, And Mouth Disease"
The Mets have spent an MLB-high $39.5 million on players on the disabled list in 2018, almost $2 million more than the next highest team on the list, and a full $12 million more than the third highest. I am going to guess the dollars they spend on Noah Syndergaard’s new ailment are the weirdest they...
If When You Do What Is Right And Suffer For It You Patiently Endure It, This Finds Favor With God; Tim Tebow Lands On Disabled List
Future Mets savior—and possible capital-S Savior—Tim Tebow landed on the disabled list Saturday after suffering a hand injury earlier in the week. Per a WBNG report:...
I Hereby Demand Several Large Jars Of Matt Carpenter's Secret Dinger Salsa
Matt Carpenter’s current streak of just absurd production started on July 14, with a double and a home run in the middle game of a series against the Reds. He homered again the following night, this time in a win, to enter the All-Star break on a nice two-day run of slugging excellence....
Mets Reach "Trading Top Relievers For Prospects" Stage Of Hopelessness
In the most definitive sign yet that the Mets have closed the books on any chance of developing their current core back into a championship contender, Saturday they traded closer Jeurys Familia, who has been with the organization since he was 17 years old, to the Oakland Athletics, for a pair of pro...
LeBron James Murals Around Los Angeles Are Being Vandalized By Lakers Fans
However in the bag Lakers fans might be for young Lonzo Ball, LeBron James joining the Lakers is the first unambiguously positive thing to happen for that organization since Kobe Bryant retired after the 2016 regular season. They’ve been operating in a state of increasing irrelevance since they won ...
Giving A Guy Who Was Racist Online A Standing Ovation To Own The Libs
Josh Hader took the mound for the Brewers Saturday night, his first appearance since the All-Star break, and since the accompanying revelation that Hader’s Twitter account was full of racist and offensive shit, all of it posted when he was a teenager in 2011 and 2012. Hader was masterful against the...
Stephen Strasburg's Return Brings More Misery For The Sorry Nationals
Stephen Strasburg pitched for the Nationals for the first time since June 8 Friday. His return to the rotation after recovering from shoulder inflammation was hailed as a major reason for hope that a gloomy, disappointing Nationals season might turn around in the second half. Then he went out and pi...
Of Course The Lakers Signed Michael Beasley
In a move that is both delightfully absurd and absolutely no surprise, the Los Angeles Lakers signed free-agent forward Michael Beasley today. It’s delightfully absurd because everything about Beasley—his mystic wisdom master personality, his microwave offense and avant-garde approach to defense—is ...
Darrelle Revis Was Too Great To Be Seen
If I had to pick a play that best summed up what Darrelle Revis could do as the best cornerback of this pass-heavy era of the NFL, it would be one in which he actually gave up a catch....