as Page 1028 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
MLB On Ejection Video Scrubbing: Our Ass Would Be In The Jackpot If We Didn't
It’s only been a few days since MLB umpire Tom Hallion introduced the phrase “our ass is in the jackpot” in a leaked video that contained full audio of a 2016 Terry Collins ejection. While we’re still no closer to understanding why Hallion used the word “jackpot” instead of something more normal lik...
Report: EPA Head Scott Pruitt Used His Position To Get 50-Yard-Line Seats For The Rose Bowl
I find myself more impressed than anything by EPA head Scott Pruitt’s venality. Sure, the man is corrupt. But he’s corrupt in ways no one had ever even conceived of before! The man’s unflagging creativity in graft is inspiring, in its gross way, and his drive is something to behold. For the rest of ...
Adam Wainwright Is A Merciless Prank Artist
Skip Schumaker spent the first eight of his 11 years in the majors playing for the St. Louis Cardinals, where he was teammates with, among others, career-Cardinal Adam Wainwright. Schumaker retired in 2016, after stints with the Dodgers and Reds, and is now the first base coach for the San Diego Pad...
Dwight Howard Shares Story Of Stan Van Gundy Owning The Hell Out Of Marcin Gortat
Marcin Gortat is a fine NBA player. He’s been one of the NBA’s best screeners for about a decade; before a relatively recent age-related decline in athleticism he was an underrated defender and rim protector; he’s a wizard at timing his movement towards the hoop to preserve and maximize the narrow p...
Kellen Winslow Jr. Arrested Again In San Diego, Charged With Kidnapping And Forcible Rape
Former NFL tight end Kellen Winslow Jr., who was arrested last week in San Diego on suspicion of burglary, has reportedly been arrested again in San Diego, and the charges this time are much more serious: they include nine different counts, among them kidnapping with intent to commit rape, and forci...
Antoine Griezmann Announces His Intent To Stay With Atlético Madrid In Moronic TV Special
Antoine Griezmann is famously a huge basketball head (though he’s much less well-versed in other aspects of American culture...), so it wasn’t totally surprising when he announced yesterday that he would reveal his long-awaited choice of whether to stay at Atlético Madrid next season or leave for Ba...
Mexican League Teams Brawl While Fans Throw Crap At Them
The Tijuana Toros and Monterrey Sultanes got after it last night after Toros infielder Jose Guadalupe Chavez collided with Sultanes catcher Angle Chavarin on a play at the plate....
The Sad History Of The Skins' Bogus Season Ticket Waiting List
In the least surprising bombshell you’ll read about this week, the Skins have admitted that nobody’s actually waiting for season tickets, despite an alleged waiting list that owner Dan Snyder used to claim had 200,000 people....
What Is Going On With Michael Porter Jr.?
Michael Porter Jr. was once considered one of the clear best two or three prospects in the 2018 NBA Draft, but with one week to go before draft night, concerns about his long-term health that have trailed him all season are becoming more pronounced. Despite playing just 53 minutes for Mizzou last se...
The Hater's Guide To The 2018 World Cup
The World Cup: truly a tradition unlike any other, except I guess for the Olympics which it is kind of like in the sense that a bunch of people who only care about a thing every four years suddenly care about it so much. Most of the world, of course, cares about soccer a great deal all the time, but...
Gigantic Basketball Tween Takes On Tiny Opponents And 8-Foot Rims, Leaves No Survivors
Here we have a highlight reel brimming with the exploits of Olivier Rioux, a 12-year-old basketball player who is said to stand at 6 feet and 9 inches. Since most 12-year-olds are not 6-foot-9, you can probably guess how this is going to go for Rioux’s poor opponents:...
The Mets Screwed Up A Chance At Greatness Because They Couldn't Stop Being The Mets
When the Mets stuck Jacob deGrom with his second loss of the season on Wednesday afternoon, it was their 10th defeat in 11 games. DeGrom, who has been the best starting pitcher in the National League, allowed just one earned run and struck out seven over seven innings. The Mets didn’t get a hit off ...
Juan Soto Is 19 And Crushing It
Juan Soto is a boy with a man’s bat. With his two–home run night in the Bronx on Thursday, the 19-year-old Nationals outfielder became the fifth youngest player in baseball’s live-ball era with a multi-homer game, and the list (Danny Murphy, Mel Ott, Ken Griffey Jr., Andruw Jones) puts him in some p...
Bark In The Park Event Goes Sideways When Very Good Dog Spots OH MY GOD ARE THOSE BASEBALLS!
A peaceful Bark in the Park event at the Dodgers’ Double-A affiliate took a turn for the better when an almost impossibly good doggo saw that the humans were throwing baseballs left and right out there, with none of his fellow four-legged buddies stepping up to do the dang retrieving:...
Punches Nearly Thrown In Near Brawl After Matt Kemp Trucks Robinson Chirinos At The Plate<em></em>
We’ve got ourselves a near donnybrook! Hands nearly thrown! Faces nearly smashed! Scores nearly settled!...
Michael Wilbon: LeBron Should Play For The Wizards So He Can Be Like Jeff Bezos<em></em>
Michael Wilbon, a grumbly shithead who’s spent the better part of this millennium actively torching his own hard-won relevance, has now weighed in on LeBron James’s impending free agency. You may be surprised to learn that Wilbon—who has made it clear multiple times that he thinks D.C. is a “terribl...
Email Shows Michigan State President Accusing Rachel Denhollander Of Receiving "Kickback" For Work In Nassar Case
Michigan State interim president John Engler wrote in an email that he believed Rachel Denhollander received a “kickback” for being the leading voice in the case built against convicted serial sex abuser Larry Nassar....
So Is Scooter Gennett Really This Good Now?
There are usually a very limited number of ways that most fans will ever come to know that a guy like Scooter Gennett exists. He’s a player you would know if you’re the type of Brewers fan that keeps up with those 16th-round role-playing guys, ones that hang around for a few years and never really f...
Stephen A. Smith Declares His Love For Asses<em></em>
Stephen A. Smith speaks of his adoration for butts in the way a person would speak of an old friend or an enriching life event. On Snoop Dogg’s YouTube show, Smith discusses asses fondly. They have clearly done so much for him....
Lorenzo Cain Saves His Teammate, Breaks The Cubs' Rundown
Early on in the Brewers’ 4-0 win over the Cubs Tuesday, Christian Yelich was on second base and Lorenzo Cain hit a sharp grounder up the middle. Javier Baez was there for a nice backhand play, but Yelich had already taken off for third, maybe figuring the ball was getting through. That required a ru...