as Page 1135 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Someone Took Red Panda’s Unicycle
If you’re someone who goes to a lot of basketball games—professional or college—there’s a good chance you’ve seen Red Panda. Rong Niu, a native of China’s Shanxi province who performs as Red Panda, has an amazing act: She rides a seven-foot tall unicycle while balancing bowls on her head. She also k...
Kirk Cousins Is About To Get <i>Paid</i>, But By Whom?
Last night’s megatrade that will send Alex Smith to Washington ensures that this offseason is almost certain to feature that rarest of NFL species: an experienced starting quarterback venturing into unrestricted free agency. Brace yourself, gentle reader: We live in a world in which Kirk Cousins wil...
Report: Former NBA Player Rasual Butler Dead In Car Crash
According to TMZ Sports and CBS2, longtime NBA player Rasual Butler and his wife Leah LaBelle died in a car crash around 2:00 a.m. this morning in Los Angeles. Butler was 38, and LaBelle was 31. Their car apparently hit a parking meter, flipped over, and slammed into a wall after the driver lost con...
Cops Closed 2004 Case After Larry Nassar Said What He Did Was Medical Treatment
All Larry Nassar had to do to get investigators off his case in 2004 was say he was doing medical treatment, according to police documents released by Meridian Township police. The reports, released today, catalogue the steps police took when Brianne Randall (now Brianne Randall-Gay) came to them wi...
Washington Safety D.J. Swearinger Is Pissed About His Teammate Being Traded
Washington and Kansas City are reportedly set to pull off something of a blockbuster trade, with the Chiefs sending quarterback Alex Smith to D.C. in exchange for a third-round draft pick and cornerback Kendall Fuller. Upon learning that Fuller was included in the deal, Skins safety D.J. Swearinger’...
Arsenal Are Having A Shockingly Great Transfer Deadline Day
Well, well, would you look at that. Ol’ Arsène had an ace up his sleeve after all, and Arsenal have locked in two players on this transfer deadline day who will give Gooners everywhere something to cheer for once and, even more importantly, some much needed hope....
The Hurricanes Are Finally Ready To Embrace Their Hartford Whaler Past
Here’s a familiar song in an unfamiliar setting:...
Vegas's Magical Season Isn't Slowing Down
Here is a post-all-star-break sentence that absolutely nobody in hockey could have predicted at the start of the year: with their 4-2 win last night against the Calgary Flames, the Vegas Golden Knights added two more points to the best record in the Western Conference. We’re far enough into the seas...
James Harden Could Not Be Stopped Tonight
There are several ways to express that James Harden’s performance tonight was historic—a personal high score, a franchise high score, the first 60-point triple-double in NBA history—but there’s maybe nothing that’s quite so impressive as just looking at the stat line itself:...
Report: Chiefs Will Trade Alex Smith To Washington
According to the Kansas City Star, the Kansas City Chiefs have reached an agreement to trade longtime starting quarterback Alex Smith to Washington, freeing the Chiefs from a $17 million cap hit....
Kevin Love Reportedly Out Six To Eight Weeks With Hand Fracture
Kevin Love will reportedly be out for six to eight weeks after injuring his hand in the first quarter of tonight’s game against the Pistons. He left the game shortly after making contact with Anthony Tolliver while trying to grab a pass, and initial x-rays showed a fracture....
Missouri Athletic Director Says South Carolina Fans Spit On Women's Basketball Players, Used "The N-Word"
The South Carolina and Missouri women’s basketball teams have played and split two heated games this month, and in each match-up, fans from both sides have been accused of increasingly shitty and racist behavior. In the first game, a Missouri fan reportedly called USC players “thugs.” In this past S...
Rays Fire Team Doctor After Accusation Of Sexual Abuse
The Rays have cut ties with team doctor Michael Reilly, who’s worked with the franchise since its 1998 inaugural season, after a former employee at his private practice accused him of sexual abuse that began when she was a teenager. ...
Three-Team Standoff Hopefully Will Not End With Arsenal's Dick Getting Shot Off
Famously star-crossed Premier League club Arsenal have already had a bad winter transfer window. Just last week the Gunners let Manchester United Debo them out of their best player, Alexis Sánchez, and the only thing that could even kind of almost halfway redeem them from that humiliating chump move...
Orlando City Gets Pissy After Cyle Larin Leaves For A Better Team
Canadian 22-year-old Cyle Larin—MLS Rookie of the Year in 2015, and leading scorer for Orlando City in all three of his seasons with the club—decided he’d had enough of his MLS team this offseason. Larin, presumably seeking a step up from a bad American squad and into potential Champions League minu...
South Carolina Governor Desperately Wants To Find A Way To Fuck The National Anthem
If you’re in South Carolina on Super Bowl Sunday and you hear the national anthem start, stand up and yell every last word, or else the patriotism police will take you to the office of Governor Henry McMaster for a spanking. Today McMaster issued a proclamation, which means nothing, that everyone in...
Roger Goodell Assures Everyone Washington Football Team Will Remain Racist Despite Chief Wahoo Removal
After the Cleveland Indians announced that they’ll be taking Chief Wahoo off of team uniforms by 2019, the Washington NFL team naturally drew scrutiny. Would they follow suit and ditch their comically racist name for something more palatable, or at least scrub their logo for something more neutral?...
Philly Cops Won’t Grease Poles For The Super Bowl Because It Didn’t Work Anyway
If the Eagles do the unthinkable and actually win the Super Bowl, Philadelphians will rush out onto the streets in celebration. If they want to climb some light poles to celebrate, they will be able to do so unencumbered: Philadelphia Police Commissioner Richard Ross announced today that the city wo...
Under Armour Boss's Alma Mater Wins Shady Hoops Game, Has Folks Wondering If Money Buys Free Throws
The most moneyed Goliath in prep school athletics needed help from above, or from somewhere else, to vanquish a relative David in parochial hoops over the weekend....
Bumbling Package Thief Injures Leg, Is Rescued By Getaway Driver In Russell Wilson Jersey<em></em>
Stealing packages seems like a scummy, straightforward two-person operation: One briskly walks up to the house, while the other keeps the car running. This one on Friday quickly fell apart due to an unforeseen variable: wet grass....