as Page 1236 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Aaron Gordon Jumps Out Of His Shoe For Beautiful Dunk
Earlier this week, the Magic found themselves in the awkward position of reassuring Aaron Gordon that the whiteboard-fueled rumors about trading him definitely weren’t true, no way. Tonight, Gordon tried to make a case for sticking around by literally jumping out of his shoe to turn this slick Elfri...
CNN War Propagandist Promotes Syrian Attacks: "This Is Not Like Kentucky Basketball"
Resident CNN war flack James “Spider” Marks excitedly promised an extended war against Syria, as the visibly engorged retired U.S. Army major general contrasted tonight’s use of more than 50 Tomahawk missiles against John Calipari’s Kentucky basketball program, stating that “this is not [...] one an...
George Springer Has Zero Regard For Life Of Baseball, Smashes Dinger
George Springer ended last night’s marathon game with a walk-off homer, and he led off tonight in similar fashion. Per Statcast, this poor baseball went a ridiculous 454 feet:...
Tim Tebow Kills Baseball In First At-Bat; Ball Passes Over Outfielders' Heads For Home Run<em></em><em></em>
Tim Tebow, author and former college football quarterback, kicked off his time with the class-A Columbia Fireflies this evening with a bang. The motivational speaker stepped up to the plate against the Augusta Greenjackets and socked a dinger in his very first at-bat....
Sport Recife Goes Berserk, Spends Match Trying FIFA-Style Golazos
Brazil’s Sport Recife is facing Uruguayan club Danubio in the first round of the Copa Sudamericana today, and each of their first two goals was extremely cool....
Investigation That Led To CCU Suspending Entire Cheer Team Found Cheerleaders Working Part-Time Jobs, Dating Men
Late last week, Coastal Carolina suspended their entire cheerleading team, wiping them from the school’s athletics website and preventing them from going to nationals. The school confirmed that the team was suspended pending a conduct investigation, but would not elaborate or offer any details....
Keon Broxton Hit In The Head By Pitch: Helmet Flap "Saved My Life"
Today’s Brewers-Rockies game got a bit frightening in the second inning when Keon Broxton was hit in the head by a pitch. The 92 mph fastball from Antonio Senzatela struck the outfielder squarely on the side flap of his helmet, taking him down instantly. (A slo-mo replay makes it appear that the pit...
White Sox Outfielder Avisail Garcia Attempts To Catch Ball
Lumbering Chicago White Sox right fielder Avisail Garcia can here be observed trying to catch a ball in today’s game against the Detroit Tigers. He scored two runs today, so it comes out in the wash....
Leaked Voicemail: Phil Mickelson Plans To Hustle Suckers For "Some Serious Cash"<em></em>
Phil Mickelson is the same guy on the golf course as off, meaning that he gambles no matter where he is. Wherever Phil lays his bets is his home....
Soccer Pundits Appropriately Bewildered By Referee's Penalty Boner
Newcastle United played Burton Albion yesterday in a match noteworthy only for one particularly galling error made by head referee Keith Stroud. These Sky Sports pundits discussing the mistake on air were just as bemused by the incident as the moment called for....
Matt Adams Defeated By Fly Ball
Cardinals first baseman Matt Adams manned left field for the Redbirds today after Stephen Piscotty was absolutely battered with baseballs Tuesday night. Adams caught a few flies earlier this week during his first outfield stint, but the experiment took a turn for the worse when Anthony Rizzo hit a b...
Ryan Howard's Going To Try And Make It With The Braves
Ryan Howard, who played 13 seasons for the Phillies, became a free agent late last season after the club bought out of his contract and released him. While in Philly, he won an MVP award and World Series title, made three All-Star teams, and hit 382 homers. But Howard was clearly on his last legs in...
Jay Bruce: Anal Power
The Mets lost to Atlanta last night in extras, but not before Jay Bruce leveraged anal power to launch a big dinger off Bartolo Colón. Your music is the appropriately titled “Anal Power” by Czech death metal group Törr, from their 1992 album Chcípni O Kus Dál....
Eric Thames Is Back In The U.S. And Ready To Mash Big Taters
Eric Thames never managed to stick in the majors. He got 633 at-bats between the Blue Jays and Mariners from 2011-12, hit a few dingers, and then went to play ball in Korea. There, he became a damn folk hero, winning the MVP award, becoming the first KBO player to join the 40-40 club, and just gener...
Report: Investigators Looking Into Death Threats Made Against Referee By Kentucky Fans<em></em>
According to a report from the Associated Press, Nebraska law enforcement investigators are looking into death threats leveled against John Higgins, the referee whose personal life and career as the owner of an Omaha roofing company have now been the focus of pissbaby Kentucky fans for over a week-a...
Any Game Can Be A Home Game If You're LeBron James
In the first half of the Cleveland Cavaliers’ 114-91 win over the Boston Celtics last night, LeBron James threw down a massive dunk, served up a demoralizing block on the other end, and then trotted into the crowd to bask in the attention of his adoring fans. This game was not in Cleveland. ...
Reds Prospect Posts Video Of Himself Snorting What Appears To Be Cocaine
Cincinnati Reds pitching prospect Ian Kahaloa was drafted in the fifth round of the 2015 amateur draft, and has been playing rookie ball ever since. He won’t be playing much this year, though, as he’s currently serving a 50-game drug suspension that was handed down on Tuesday. Last month, a Twitter ...
Russell Westbrook Wields The Power Cosmic Against Memphis<em></em>
One of the worst critiques of Russell Wesbrook’s MVP candidacy is the one that tries to sneer at the very concept of the triple-double. “It’s an arbitrary accomplishment!” mewls the weenie. “We’re biased towards round numbers!” he continues, sniveling, pretending like a the roundness of 31-10-10 som...
Your Annual Reminder That Jim Nantz Is A Deeply Strange Breed Of Jackass
It’s Masters Week, which means that it’s time again to school you in the strange ways of CBS announcer, burnt-toast enthusiast, and general glass-of-skim-milk-made-into-a-person Jim Nantz. Rick Maese of the Washington Post did an excellent deep dive on Nantz this week and it’s filled with all kinds ...
Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before, But The Capitals Won The Presidents' Trophy
One quirk of the NHL’s divisional playoff format is that clinching the Presidents’ Trophy for the best regular-season record in the league didn’t matter nearly so much to the Capitals as winning their division. Of course, they’re happy to do both....