as Page 1363 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Crabby Warriors Vs. Bulls Take Contains Zero Evidence, Is Probably Right Anyway
The Golden State Warriors are one hell of a formidable basketball crew, insanely fun to watch, versatile, and with three games left on their schedule, they’re likely to tie or set the league record for wins in a season. The team they’re threatening is arguably the greatest the league ever saw: the B...
Apparently, The Phillies Don't Know The Rules Of Baseball
Today in “Things Only The Phillies And Little Leaguers Do,” watch Phillies second baseman Cesar Hernandez get doubled off on a called infield fly....
Facebook Is All Sad Because No One Wants To Share With Them Anymore
You’re bored, so you stagger out onto a virtual stage under a searingly bright virtual spotlight, look out at your virtual audience, and see an alienating stew of every social group you’ve ever belonged to, with plenty of friends’ dads, former authority figures, ex-enemies, fleeting acquaintances, a...
This Is The Among The Best Victory Celebrations In Cycling History
You may glance at the headline above you and reflexively gag at the hyperbole. However, you would be wrong to do so, for Astana’s Diego Rosa really did the shit....
Man, Southern Miss Was Flagrantly Breaking NCAA Rules
Anybody who follows college sports even semi-closely is inured to scandal. These guys are taking sham classes, those ones are getting free dealership cars, that one is getting money slipped under the table by an agent. But even beyond the sheer mind-numbing quantity of “scandals,” the NCAA is an imm...
Cop Asks Jogger To Run On Sidewalk, Arrests Her When She Doesn't
MLive has dashcam footage of a Michigan woman who was arrested on Jan. 2 after she ignored a cop who stopped her and asked her to run on the sidewalk. There’s a lot of yelling....
Addison Russell Attempts Brutal Assault On Diamondbacks Mascot
Wow, this is quite rude. Chicago Cubs shortstop Addison Russell attempted to maim poor Diamondbacks mascot D. Baxter the Bobcat last night by flinging his bat into the stands. Thankfully Baxter is quick as a, uhh, bobcat, and managed to get out of the way. His attempt to threaten Russell in return d...
The Nets Once Came Very Close To Becoming The Swamp Dragons
ESPN’s Zach Lowe just dropped a short, fun oral history about the time the New Jersey Nets tried to change their name to the Swamp Dragons. Why would they do this? Because as former Nets president Jon Spoelstra put it, “Every time I look out the window here, I see this swamp... Dragons are mythical,...
Jets Tackle D'Brickashaw Ferguson, Who Missed One Snap In 10 Years, Retires
According to ESPN’s Rich Cimini, New York Jets tackle D’Brickashaw Ferguson has decided to retire after playing 10 NFL seasons. Ferguson, 32, hasn’t commented publicly on his decision, but Cimini cites a source who said Ferguson “just felt it was time.”...
Tyler Summitt Resigns As Louisiana Tech Women's Hoops Coach After Inappropriate Relationship
Tyler Summitt, 25-year-old son of Hall-of-Fame coach Pat Summitt, has stepped down as head coach of the Louisiana Tech women’s basketball team after cryptically admitting to an inappropriate relationship. Speculation immediately and logically ensued that the relationship in question was with one of ...
Kyle Schwarber Carted Off The Field With Leg Injury After Crashing Into Dexter Fowler
Kyle Schwarber and Dexter Fowler collided with each other while chasing a popup that Arizona’s Jean Segura sent into left center in the second inning. Fowler tried to go low, but Schwarber didn’t get out of the way quickly enough and his left leg looks like it got mashed up pretty bad during the col...
Cal Assistant Coach Who Was Fired For Sexual Harassment Drops Appeal And Resigns
Cal Bears assistant basketball coach Yan Hufnagel was fired from his post last month after a university investigation found that he had sexually harassed a reporter. The investigation report indicates that he tried to leverage her reliance on him as a source into a sexual relationship, and the claim...
Records: Baylor's Shawn Oakman Under Investigation For Sexual Assault Accusation (Updated)
Another former Baylor football player, recent defensive standout Shawn Oakman, is under investigation for a reported sexual assault over the weekend. The story was broken by the Waco Tribune-Herald, which did not identify the player “because he had not been arrested.” However, it did extensively quo...
The Best Moment Of The A's Season So Far Is This Beer-Holding Fan's Foul Ball Catch
It’s been unseasonably nice in the Bay Area this week. As long as the Oakland A’s keep playing in their dilapidated husk of a ballpark, tickets will stay cheap, and there aren’t many better ways to enjoy a little global warming-induced early summer than watching some baseball and enjoying a big ass ...
Failure Artist Sam Hinkie Produces His Masterpiece
Professional engineer of failure Sam Hinkie quit the Philadelphia 76ers last night via a batshit, borderline incoherent, hilariously self-congratulatory 13-page resignation letter, inadvertently rendering into generous flattery every joke made at his expense over the three years he spent failing at ...
And Now, A Dramatic Reading Of Sam Hinkie’s Batshit Resignation Letter
Sixers GM Sam Hinkie unexpectedly resigned yesterday and left behind a rambling, legitimately nutzoid 13-page letter that I hope will serve as a giant blinking warning sign to any future employer of his, be it an NBA team (fat chance) or an investment firm or the sales force at Lyft, which is where ...
The Idea Behind The Process Is Wrong, And Always Has Been
Newly former Philadelphia 76ers general manager Sam Hinkie’s “Process” encompassed a number of tenets, but its basic philosophical underpinning was that the NBA draft is the best and cheapest way to build a contender, and that the NBA draft is a crapshoot. A roll of the dice....
Hawk Harrelson Submits Supremely Terrible Home Run Call
White Sox play-by-play man Hawk Harrelson, also known as Darkest Timeline Vin Scully, had a little trouble tracking this home run ball during last night’s game between the White Sox and A’s:...
Bomani Jones Wears Shirt
Bomani Jones filled in for one of the Mikes on ESPN’s Mike and Mike this morning and wore a “Caucasians” shirt, which featured a parody of the Cleveland Indians’ Chief Wahoo logo. Molly Qerim and Jones actually dedicated airtime to the shirt, which was supposedly “dominating the social media convers...
Ernie Els Started The Masters With A 7-Putt, And It Was Excruciating
You know that sickly feeling you get you’re watching a particularly violent scene in a horror movie that just goes on for way too long? That’s how watching Ernie Els seven-putt his way to a sextuple bogey on the first hole of the Masters will make you feel....