as Page 1402 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
LSU's D.J. Chark Goes 79 Yards, Scores Touchdown On First Career Touch
D.J. Chark’s at the end of his second year in an LSU uniform, but it took until tonight’s Texas Bowl for him to ever touch the football in a real game. We’ll expect he touches it plenty in the future after taking his first touch 79 yards and for a touchdown....
High School Basketball Players Charged With Aggravated Assault, Rape In Hazing Incident
Tennessee police have charged three high school basketball players with aggravated rape and assault after they hazed a 15-year-old freshman teammate while the team was at a tournament in Gatlinburg. The three unnamed boys, from Ooltewah High School, are currently at a juvenile facility, according to...
A Courtside View Of Gregg Popovich Screaming At A Referee
Spurs coach Gregg Popovich was ejected from last night’s game against the Timberwolves when he went storming down the baseline to scream at a referee for not calling a foul. Here’s how that tirade looked and sounded on the court:...
Joe Mixon's First Meeting With Reporters Was A Joke
Oklahoma Sooners running back Joe Mixon met with reporters today, marking the first time he’s spoken to the media since being suspended for one year after allegedly punching a woman in the face. From the outset, the university tried to prevent reporters from asking about the alleged assault....
Are Email Disclaimers Meaningless?
Welcome back to Ask a Lawyer, where I, a lawyer, respond to your questions. Got a vexing legal issue? Send it over, or drop it in the comments below. Today’s query:...
Omri Casspi And Steph Curry Traded Threes In A Wildly Entertaining Shootout
The Warriors were probably always going to beat the Sacramento Kings at home, and their 122-103 victory Monday night became a foregone conclusion after DeMarcus Cousins was ejected early in the third quarter. But before then, when the Kings were still hanging tough and even leading, there was an ama...
Lemmy Fucking Ruled
I don’t have anything all that insightful to say about Lemmy, who died tonight, or about Motörhead, the band he lorded over and which lorded over rock and roll longer than I’ve been alive, but they were god damn madmen and you should have loved them if you didn’t....
The Spurs' Mascot Caught A Bat In A Fishing Net While Wearing A Batman Costume
The San Antonio Spurs had a bat problem prior to Monday night’s game against the Timberwolves, for the second time in six years. (The last time occurred on Halloween, believe it or not.) Instead of pulling Manu Ginobili out of bat-swatting retirement, Spurs’ mascot The Coyote donned an appropriate c...
You Could Probably Start For The Yankees, But Their Bullpen Is Absolutely Terrifying
The New York Yankees have acquired Aroldis Chapman, the hardest-throwing pitcher in baseball, from the Cincinnati Reds for a package of four mostly unheralded minor leaguers....
The Chiefs Should Terrify The AFC
The AFC’s elite teams are all limping toward the finish line. The Bengals are relying on a backup quarterback who’s most famous for having a girlfriend who aroused Brent Musberger, and you couldn’t describe the Broncos’ new starter as much else besides ‘Tall’ (and, I suppose, ‘Injured’ and maybe ‘Va...
What Horrible Things Did We Do To Our Penises Last Year?
Ah, the penis. That most comical and vulnerable of body parts. It was a bad year for all of us, but for the approximately 1.2 billionth year in a row since the emergence of sexual differentiation, it was a particularly rough year for groins. This selection of real, horrible injuries proves that Murp...
Referee Starts Crying After Mean Fans Shout Insults About His Mom
We’ll let the weeping referee, officiating a league match in Tunisia, speak for himself, for they are words we all can agree on: “Hearing such insults, it’s hard to hold back tears. No one likes to hear his mother insulted. God bless my mother!”...
John Wall Is Pretty Grumpy About Kyrie Irving Leading Him In All-Star Votes
All-star fan voting almost never results in an accurate representation of the most worthy players. Kobe Bryant is leading all NBA players in voting this season despite shooting 34% and NHLer John Scott had the most votes of all hockey players before he was released by the Coyotes. Kyrie Irving is sl...
Jason Peters Pulled Himself Out Of Eagles Loss To Avoid Risk Of Injury
The Philadelphia Eagles needed to beat Washington at home last night to stay in playoff contention. They did not, despite Kirk Cousins briefly forgetting how to play football, and they’re now certain to finish the season below .500 for the first time in Chip Kelly’s tenure. Obviously, the Eagles wer...
Kirk Cousins's Enormous Boner Wastes Scoring Opportunity
Kirk Cousins responded to a week of positive coverage, for once, by committing a huge blunder. His boner cost Washington a chance to get points; by inexplicably taking a knee with six seconds remaining, time ran out on the half—denying the Skins a shot at a quick touchdown and even the subsequent fi...
"WHERE'D THE BALL GO!??"
It’s a bright, sunny day in El Paso for today’s Sun Bowl, where the snow is coming down so hard the ball is disappearing:...
Tom Cleverley's Long Header Beats Newcastle On Final Touch Of The Match
Everton downed Newcastle today 1-0 thanks to a 93rd-minute long-range header by Tom Cleverley that proved to be the final touch of the match....
Happy Birthday, Rickey Henderson!
Today is a day to celebrate, among other things, the birthday of Rickey Henderson, a man who embodies baseball at its best so completely that it’s hard to do him any justice. Here’s to you, Rickey....
What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?
It’s Christmas Day, and you know what that means: time to plumb the depths of the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s database of emergency room visits. We’re looking for the weirdest, least explicable, and most awkward objects that America has shoved inside its various holes. God bless us, ev...
Enjoy Some Of The Most Ridiculous Christmas Wish Lists Ever Written
If you got what you wanted for Christmas, that’s probably in part because you didn’t ask for, say, “A little thing that can turn into anything at anytime.” This would set you apart from the authors of the lists below, some of whom got some of what they wanted, some of whom just couldn’t possibly hav...