as Page 1419 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A judge has sided with the Orioles and against MLB and the Nationals in their ongoing dispute over the percentage of TV rights fees that go to Washington. The judge urged the parties to go to truly independent arbitration, but in the meantime it will cost the Nats tens of millions of dollars a year....
Andre Drummond Is A Hilarious Monster
After scoring 25 points and yanking down 29—twenty-goddamned-nine!—rebounds against the Pacers last night, Pistons center Andre Drummond’s per-game numbers are looking downright stupid. He’s averaging 20 points and 19 rebounds per game, and he’s the first player since 1985 to score at least 80 point...
Don't Do That: A Harrowing "Ask A Lawyer" Lightning Round
Welcome back to Ask a Lawyer, wherein I, a lawyer, respond to your questions. Got a vexing legal issue? Send it over, or drop it in the comments below. Today, we’re tackling the weirdest emails we’ve gotten so far, all at once. Let’s hit it. ...
If You Steal From Serena Williams, She Will Hunt You Down
Serena Williams just posted a highly entertaining story about her brush with a possible thief to her Facebook page. This is what happens when you are dumb enough to try and steal Serena Williams’s cell phone:...
Tyler Seguin Scored A Hat Trick, Made A Teen Cry On Her Birthday
At 10-3-0 after last night’s 5-3 win over the Bruins, the Dallas Stars are off to the hottest start in franchise history. It’s a year later than everyone expected, but unlike last season’s slow start, everything is clicking this time around. Offseason additions Patrick Sharp, Johnny Oduya, and espec...
Nearly Twice As Many People As Live In Kansas City Attended The Royals' Parade
Kansas City mayor Sly James estimated that 800,000 people turned out to watch the Royals’ championship parade (at least one police sergeant thought it was higher), which is even more impressive when you realize that Kansas City’s population is just 470,000. But while it’s one thing to hear a number ...
Jonny Gomes Gives Obnoxious, Wonderful Victory Speech At Royals' World Series Parade
Jonny Gomes didn’t have a single plate appearance in the Royals’ postseason run, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t preen and shout at the team’s World Series parade today. Give him a hell yeah, brother....
Nobody Wants RGIII
The NFL trade deadline is in another hour or so, but despite the dearth of quarterbacks around the league, and the Skins’ obvious plan to never let Robert Griffin play again, RGIII isn’t going anywhere. Not that some teams wouldn’t like to kick his tires; it’s that Washington foolishly picked up Gri...
Jerry Jones Spends About A Minute Rambling About Monkeys
Last week, Dez Bryant posted a photo on Instagram of his “new best friend,” a monkey named Dallas Bryant. When PETA found out, it demanded that Bryant relinquish the illegal pet monkey, but there wasn’t proof that the Cowboys receiver actually possessed Dallas. DeSoto, Texas police investigated, and...
Manchester City And Sevilla Fans Scrap Outside Bar
Not content with the chair tornado in the lead-up to the last Manchester City-Sevilla match a couple weeks ago, these fans returned to their fighting ways ahead of today’s return leg. Yes, more chairs were thrown....
Warriors Top Grizz, 119 To—Wait, I'm Pretty Sure This Is A Video Game Score
There’s been a terrible mistake. The AP, ESPN, even the NBA itself—they’re all recording the final score of last night’s Warriors-Grizzlies game as a 119-69 win for the Warriors, but clearly that is the score of some kid’s video game. I mean, ha ha, 119-69, get the fuck outta here, who would even be...
The Skins' Latest Court Filing Is Comically Vulgar
The Skins are desperately trying to preserve their trademark, which was canceled by the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office last year and upheld by a federal judge this summer. It’s before a court of appeals now, and on Friday the team filed its opening brief. It appears it was written by Andrew Dice C...
Dusty Baker Named Washington Nationals Manager After They Cheap Out On Bud Black
Last Wednesday Bud Black agreed to become the Washington Nationals manager, with seemingly everything wrapped up and just the i’s to dot and the t’s to cross. It was such a done deal that the Washington Post was writing articles with headlines like “What’s next after the Nationals’ hiring of Bud Bla...
Timberwolves Play Heartrending Tribute To Flip Saunders Before Home Opener
The Minnesota Timberwolves host their first home game of the season tonight, and beforehand played a long and heartfelt tribute to Flip Saunders, who died of Hodgkin’s lymphoma a week ago. Saunders was the Timberwolves’ coach and president of basketball operations, but to residents of Minnesota, Fli...
Romanian Youth Coach Beats On 16-Year-Old Player In The Middle Of A Game
This, uh, doesn’t seem like the best way to motive your U17 charges?...
Smoking In Public Was A Lot Easier In The '80s
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Last week, we talked VCRs; today, we’re discussing smoking etiquette....
John Brown And The Cardinals Despise Your Fantasy Team
Arizona wide receiver John Brown was questionable with a bum hamstring before he was declared active for yesterday’s game, a 34-20 win in Cleveland, but spent the game a-mouldering on the sideline. Who knows why he didn’t play? Bruce Arians spoke about discovering and developing his WR depth and dis...
Ice Fishing, Christmas Trees, And Booze: One Spy's Failed Infiltration Of The Black Sox
Excerpted from The Betrayal: The 1919 World Series and the Birth of Modern Baseball, by Charles Fountain....
Kobe Bryant: I Suck
Late-stage Kobe Bryant, while proven to be entertaining in his own particular way, is not a very effective basketball player. He was hilariously bad before tearing his rotator cuff last year, and he’s continued to be very bad through the first five games of this season. This fact is not lost on Kobe...