as Page 1437 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Keeper Discovers That Throwing The Ball Right Into An Opponent's Head Is A Bad Idea
Technically this isn’t an own goal, since the last touch came from the striker, but it is still the most embarrassing non-own goal you’re likely to see. The keeper can raise his hand all he likes, but it’s not interference when you literally throw the ball right at the dude’s head. The video:...
The NCAA Has No Idea What To Do About Daily Fantasy
At their annual meeting earlier this week, the hot topic among D1 athletic directors was the rise of daily fantasy sports, and what—if anything—the NCAA can or should do about it. The early returns from the meeting indicate that the NCAA wants daily fantasy to be considered gambling, and thus ban pl...
Jose Bautista Has A Goddamn Cannon Attached To His Shoulder
Jose Bautista spent a month earlier this season playing DH because his shoulder hurt so badly that he couldn’t throw. After tonight, it’s safe to say Bautista is fully recovered....
Barry Zito And Tim Hudson Will Face Off On Saturday
Congratulations A’s and Giants fans, you did it! You successfully wished something cool into existence!...
Classic Man: "Keeping An Axe Blade Sharp Requires Careful Maintenance"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Last week, we discussed bear alarms; today, we’re talking about sharpening an axe....
How To Buy A Tie And Wear It Well
The tie gets a bad rep. It’s associated with board rooms and formality and the type of office job that requires navigating a dull grey labyrinth of cubicles. There’s a reason that the phrase “loosening one’s tie” exists, and why it’s shorthand for relaxing and having a good time. Ties are symbolic o...
Try Not To Laugh At Jerry Jones's Evaluation Of Brandon Weeden
The Cowboys are in as bad a shape as any 2-0 team can be. Tony Romo will miss most of the season with a broken clavicle, and Dez Bryant’s busted foot will keep him on the shelf for God knows how long. Backup quarterback Brandon Weeden will lead the team against Atlanta next week, a fact Jerry Jones ...
Ragnar Is Holding Out For $20,000 A Game
Fans noticed a distinct lack of of Ragnar, the biker viking mascot, at Minnesota’s first home game this weekend. That led the Vikings to issue a statement yesterday confirming that Ragnar, absent for the first time since 1993, isn’t there because the team can’t agree with him on how much loot and pl...
How To Clean Semen Off Of Anything
We’re kicking off Season Two of the official Ask a Clean Person podcast in what I consider to be perfect style: covered in semen. My guest this week is Maureen O’Connor, sex columnist for New York Magazine and a contributor to The Cut, who joined me to talk about cum stains. ...
Syracuse QB Eric Dungey Leaves Game After CMU Linebacker's Nasty Hit
Syracuse beat Central Michigan 30-27 in overtime Saturday, but the Orange lost starting freshman quarterback Eric Dungey after he was injured by a hit from Chippewas linebacker Mitch Stanitzek. Dungey didn’t return to the game, and Stanitzek was ejected for targeting....
Felix Hernandez And Adrian Beltre's Friendly Rivalry Is Still The Best
The best thing about any game between the Rangers and Mariners is the likelihood that it will involve Felix Hernandez and Adrian Beltre joking around and talking shit to each other. They do this all the time, and last night was no different:...
Tony Romo Has A Broken Collarbone
Tony Romo broke his left collarbone today when Eagles rookie linebacker Jordan Hicks sacked him and forced a fumble in the third quarter of today’s game in Philadelphia. This is the same collarbone that Romo broke in 2010 that caused him to miss eight games. He didn’t have surgery for that injury, a...
The Royals Got Yordano Ventura With The Old Hoodie Gum Trick
Who did this? This is very rude. ...
¡Bicicleta!
Chiapas’ Avilés Hurtado went all upside-down style today against Toluca to give Los Jaguares a 1-0 lead. Turn the volume up because good lord this is a fantastic call. Mamita querido indeed!...
Jason Pierre-Paul Vs. The Giants Will Only Get Uglier From Here
Okay, we’ve seen the stump. Now back to the part where Jason Pierre-Paul is still a top-tier free agent with a $14.8 million contract tender to sign, and he and the Giants are going to mats about when he’ll be back....
Kliff Kingsbury Clowns Bret Bielema After Texas Tech Beats Arkansas
It has not been a good year for Arkansas football and Bret Bielema. The Razorbacks came into the season ranked #18, but have since wilted. Bielema made fun of Ohio State for having an easy schedule, then his team went and lost to Toledo, the type of opponent he had just dismissed....
Report: Dez Bryant To Be Out Twice As Long As Initially Forecast
Cowboys wide receiver Dez Bryant is now likely to miss 10-12 weeks with a broken foot, rather than the four-to-six weeks he was originally supposed to miss, after he underwent bone graft surgery. NFL’s Ian Rapoport reports that the procedure was not part of the initial prognosis, and indicates a cer...
Texas Linebacker Stricken With Sudden, Timely Bout Of Wefuckedupitis
When in doubt, pretend you’re injured. That’s how Edwin Freeman avoided being caught offside by Cal after the Longhorns linebacker started to head toward the sidelines with the Bears lined up to snap the ball on second-and-goal. Per NCAA rules, Texas burned a timeout for the injury anyway; with the ...