as Page 1491 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Iowa State Blows It; UAB Wins By A Point
Fred Hoiberg's squad didn't get a second game to show off their style of play. Third-seeded Iowa State lost to UAB 60-59 after Naz Long's potential tying three missed, and the ball went in as a two-point shot with less than a second remaining. This was the Blazers' first tournament win since the...
Lionel Messi And Cristiano Ronaldo Find Their Final Forms
For a depressingly large group of actuarial soccer fans, this season's thrilling edition of the duel between temporally and cosmically entwined superstars Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi has mainly served as another set of cudgels to club down the other's reputation and legacy. Go deeper, becau...
Demetrius Jackson Leads Notre Dame On A Razzle-Dazzle Fast Break
14-seed Northeastern brought the fight to Notre Dame today, but eventually lost 69-65 after crapping away a chance to tie it up in the closing seconds. Before that, though, Notre Dame guard Demetrius Jackson pulled off this slick bit of dribbling and passing on a fast break. So far, this is the high...
Life Ain't Easy For A Basketball Player Named Fuck
That up there is a real headline, in a real newspaper, on a real story about a real basketball player named Guilherme Crabogiale Fuck....
If You Like Overrated Teams That Will Let You Down, Root For Georgetown
Listen. My dad grew up in DC. My mom went to Georgetown, and was an extra in The Exorcist. College Allen Iverson is, in my opinion, the greatest basketball player of all time. I grew up playing ball with Austin Freeman. One of my best friends went to Georgetown, and another one is an assistant coach...
If You Like White People, Root For Lafayette
The Lafayette Leopards have been to the NCAA tournament three times; they have never won a game. They probably won't get their first victory tonight against Villanova—6:50 p.m. on TBS!—since a No. 16 seed has never beaten a No. 1 seed in the tournament. However, we still want to take a minute and re...
If You Like Not Being Scum, Root Against Coach K, Who Is Scum
Look. I hate Coach K. You hate Coach K. Everybody hates Coach K. Nobody needs a reason to root for somebody else—anybody else! Attila the Hun! Sauron! anybody!—to win the NCAA tournament. What I am saying is that you should actively root against Coach K. Root for his defeat. Root for his Virtue and ...
If You Like Anteaters, Root For UC Irvine
UC Irvine is in the dance for the first time as a Division I basketball program. Congratulations, Anteaters. Wait, Anteaters?...
If You Want Blood And Guts, Root For Kentucky
Maybe you're one of those people who pushes all the difficulty sliders in your favor when you play NBA 2K15, or forces all the other teams to trade you their best players when you start up a Madden franchise. Maybe you only enjoy victory when it's achieved on the most destructive terms, your opponen...
Kyrie Irving Made Timofey Mozgov's Job Very Easy
Cavs center Timofey Mozgov scored 17 points on 7-of-8 shooting while playing just 17 minutes in last night's rout of the Nets. That's an efficient-ass game! He's got Kyrie Irving, who set up five of those seven made buckets with some beautiful passing, to thank for it....
Deadcast: The Hater’s Guide To The Field Of 68
The tournament is here! Obscure schools! Slow play! Poor shooting! Adorable upsets that are violently corrected in the boring later rounds! It's all here! I'm gonna head to the bar at 1 p.m., eyebang the barstools until a free one opens up, and then get TERRIBLE barstool ass sores over the cou...
Dallas Sportscaster Blasts The Cowboys For Signing Greg Hardy
The last time we checked in with Dallas sportscaster Dale Hansen, he was ripping into the football establishment for suggesting that Michael Sam would make things "uncomfortable" in the NFL. With the Cowboys having signed Greg Hardy—whose then-girlfriend Nicole Holder testified that Hardy strangle...
Dayton Advances To The Round Of 64 On Sketchy No-Call At Home
Dayton beat Boise State 56-55 tonight to advance to the first round proper of the NCAA tournament, but Boise State and their fans will spend the next couple of weeks believing they were jobbed. Boise State's Derrick Marks saw his last second three-point attempt miss badly, but he'll argue that he ...
Always Wear Clean Undies
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
The Cowboys Will Basically Pay Greg Hardy Per Game
Defensive lineman Greg Hardy, whose domestic abuse charges were dismissed in February after his accuser didn't show up to court, signed a one-year deal with the Dallas Cowboys today that can reach up to $13.1 million if all incentives are reached....
My Beloved Stuffed Animal Needs A Bath, And I'm A Nervous Wreck
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
March Madness Beer Brackets Are Stupid, So Here's The Winner Of Ours!
Have you guys filled out all your brackets? I'm a bit behind this year. I've taken care of "Vegan Pizza Toppings," "Aunts Who Have Disappointed Me," "Bands I've Never Heard Of," and "Dudes Named Gary," and today I hope to get to "NCAA Men's Basketball," but I doubt I'm going to find time to complete...
If You Like Lanky, Versatile Big Men, Root For Frank Kaminsky
If the only skin you have in March Madness is the money you've invested in bracket pools, might I suggest paying attention to the 7-foot Midwesterner with the name of a 50-year-old plumber? Wisconsin's extremely talented forward Frank Kaminsky has led the 31-3 Badgers to their first-ever No. 1 see...
Olivier Giroud Is Good At Everything Except His Job
That right there is the quintessential pose of Olivier Giroud. His head tilted skyward, his face tightened into a pained grimace, his hands slowly making their way upward to his eyes or hair as he attempts to rub away the memory of whatever near-chance he was just unable to put away....