as Page 1498 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Make Your Bed. Make Your Bed? Make Your Bed!
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
You've Got To Be Superman To Swing Like Jose Abreu
When the Chicago White Sox signed Cuban defector Jose Abreu to a six-year, $68 million deal, the expectation was that he would be worth his money, and the hope was that he would be be the next slugging first baseman/DH in the line of team greats Frank Thomas and Paul Konerko. It turned out to be a p...
How To Get Your Ass Back In Shape, And Keep It There
Now that the New Year's Resolutions crowd has cleared out of the gym, it's time to get down to business. The goal is not to become CrossFit truthers or pot-smoking ultramarathoners, but to simply avoid racking up massive medical bills due to poor health as we continue our slow, inevitable march to...
Bills Trade For Matt Cassel
The Bills announced they've agreed on a trade with the Vikings for QB Matt Cassel, with undisclosed draft picks heading both ways. Doesn't really matter! The new-look Bills have a quarterback. Sort of....
Deadcast: Is Ernie Banks’ Body Being Hidden In Washington, D.C.?
Since Chicago Cubs legend Ernie Banks died over a month ago, his surviving family members have been engaged in a blood feud with Banks's former mistress over both Banks's remaining assets (rumored to be valued at a mere $16,000) and his remains, the location of which are at present unknown. Even th...
Nene Plays Like Shit, Gets Taunted By Old Dudes
The Wizards, now in the midst of a 1-7 skid, got beat last night by a Bulls team that was without Jimmy Butler, Taj Gibson, and Derrick Rose. The Wiz are a goddamn mess right now, but nobody had a worse night than Nene....
Uhh, Otto?
There is playing poor defense, entirely blowing a play on defense, and not even trying to play defense ... and then there is whatever the hell Otto Porter was doing here. Porter didn't just let Tony Snell sneak backdoor on him; he let Tony Snell leisurely jog 30 feet backdoor on him before he rememb...
The Panthers Just Dressed Two Different Emergency Goaltenders
The Florida Panthers had enough goaltender weirdness for an entire season tonight, all in the span of about a period and a half....
Daniel Murphy Disagrees With The Gay "Lifestyle"
New York Mets second baseman Daniel Murphy says that he would be accepting of a gay teammate, but that he “disagree[s] with the lifestyle, 100 percent,” throwing the authenticity of his claimed acceptance into question. ...
Report: Man Who Told On Jackie Robinson West Arrested For Assault
The man whose whistleblowing—or snitching, depending upon your perspective—led to the Jackie Robinson West Little League team losing their national title has been arrested for assault, DNAInfo reports. Chris Janes is alleged to have drunkenly tried to enter a neighbor's home at 1 a.m. Tuesday, a...
NRA Secretly Backs Group Aiming To Save Elephants Now, Kill Them Later
A couple of weeks ago, a group called the Elephant Protection Association (EPA) sent an email to a Maryland woman with elephant-hugging tendencies after she'd registered for membership online. There was an important measure coming before the General Assembly in Annapolis, HB713, which would restr...
Prince Was An Afro-Rocking, Coach-Hating Schoolboy Basketball Player
This is a picture of Prince. In middle school. In his middle school basketball team’s uniform. Because he was on the team....
Oregon: We Have The Right To Access A Rape Victim's Medical Records
The University of Oregon is being sued by a student who claims that after she was raped by three basketball players, the school tailored and delayed their discipline so the men could play in the NCAA tournament. Those allegations alone sound horrible (Oregon denies them), but they've taken a distu...
Jason Smith's Dancing Is The Only Redeeming Thing About The Knicks
The Knicks are bullshit and should be ignored at all costs, but we can make an exception for power forward Jason Smith, who in this video busts out a series of dance moves at an energy level of a Pixie Stick-addled kid who just watched Ace Ventura: Pet Detective....
Report: Denver Nuggets Fire Head Coach Brian Shaw
According to Yahoo Sports' Adrian Wojnarowski, the long nightmare that was Brian Shaw's tenure as coach of the Denver Nuggets has come to an end....
Hassan Whiteside: Alex Len Mad "Because I Just Kept Dunking On Him"
Who knew the Heat and Suns loathed each other so much? Monday night's game was chippy—Markieff Morris flagrantly fouled former teammate Goran Dragic, and a few minutes later, Hassan Whiteside and Alex Len wrestled on the court. (Officials ejected Morris, Len, and Whiteside for their roles.) After th...
Vladimir Guerrero Had Hubris, And He Had Balls
The following is excerpted from Jonah Keri's Up, Up, & Away: The Kid, The Hawk, Rock, Vladi, Pedro, Le Grand Orange, Youppi!, The Crazy Business of Baseball, and the Ill-fated but Unforgettable Montreal Expos, a wonderful and definitive account of Montreal's much-lamented baseball team. The book w...
This Fake Rugby Pass Is Outrageous
This is such a sick ball fake by Rangi Chase of the Salford Red Devils. He actually tosses the ball a little bit with his right hand before grabbing it with his left and continuing to run. The fake is sold so completely you can see both defenders break down into a tackling stance. I need to watch mo...
HS Basketball Team Booted From Playoffs For Wearing "Illegal Uniforms"
The Nathaniel Narbonne High School (Harbor City, Calif.) girls basketball team has lost their place in the Los Angeles City Section Open Division finals—and has been barred from the state tournament—for wearing "illegal uniforms" in Saturday's semifinal victory over View Park Preparatory Accelerat...