as Page 1514 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Basketball Is Dead. The Knicks And Sixers Murdered It.
All the precious, fragile, bitterly-won gains of humankind's wretched, fitful, brave, millennia-long upward struggle went up in white-hot magnesium flames last night in Philadelphia and burned away to powder. All for nothing. All fantasies, every damn one. The Knicks and Sixers have shown us ours...

The Greatest Mötley Crüe Songs Of All Time (And The Worst)
Wanna be a roadie? Guess what? BEING A ROADIE SUCKS. I spent a couple days on tour with Mötley Crüe for this big GQ article that dropped today, and I have a newfound appreciation for the rigors of going on tour and setting up an entire goddamn stage in a new city in a differently shaped arena night ...

The NFL Should Just Leave Marshawn Lynch The Hell Alone
According to ESPN's Adam Schefter, the NFL is preparing to become much more aggressive in its battle against Marshawn Lynch and his continued refusal to give a fuck....

Baylor Played An NAIA Team For The Sake Of A Dopey Movie
There's a noticeable oddity among today's college basketball box scores: The Baylor Bears, a nationally ranked Division I team, beat the hell out of the Huston-Tillotson Rams, an NAIA team that has a few Division I schools on its schedule, but has no real business playing against the big boys. The m...

Long-Limbed Kevin Durant Obliterates Marcin Gortat With Dunk
It is a good thing that Marcin Gortat is a goofy-ass guy with funny hair, who chills watching porn on Saturday night, and has a humvee and pig to play with, because this is the kind of dunk that could ruin a man without a balanced perspective on life. ...


How To Conquer Sticky Spills With Patience (Or None At All)
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....

Ernie Johnson Jokingly Asks Westbrook "How Was The Execution Tonight?"
On Friday night Russell Westbrook raged at the media, refusing to answer questions with anything other than "we executed," and telling one reporter that he flat out didn't like him. After tonight's Thunder win over the Heat, the NBA TV crew conducted an otherwise mundane interview with Westbrook—y...

A-Rod Turns To Unlikely Source To Assist His Comeback: Barry Bonds
At 39 and having missed the entire 2014 season due to suspension, Alex Rodriguez is attempting an improbable comeback. His skills were already rapidly declining in 2013—in 44 games he posted his lowest batting average and slugging percentage since 1995, and his fielding has been getting worse for ...

Suit: High School Football Players Raped Girl, Recorded It
A teenage girl claims in a civil lawsuit that she was raped multiple times last year by three Culver City High School football players, who also recorded one of the rapes, shared the video with other students, and tried to intimidate her into not reporting what happened. The suit was filed last we...

FCC Fines ESPN $280,000 For <i>Olympus Has Fallen</i> Spot
Olympus Has Fallen—the 2013 movie about a White House attack that wasn't White House Down—got some TV networks into trouble with its advertising. The FCC dished out hefty fines for one spot's use of the Emergency Alert System sound. You can hear it at the beginning, right before the "THIS IS NOT A...

Don't Try To Interview DeAndre Jordan When He's Listening To Tupac
DeAndre Jordan had a pretty big game last night, scoring 19 points, grabbing 12 rebounds, and blocking six shots. His performance earned him the nod for the postgame interview, which did not go all that smoothly....

Toronto Will Make Sebastian Giovinco World's Highest-Paid Italian Player
Once you've tried to wrap your head around the nebulous machinations that resulted in Toronto FC's new star-studded roster, you're left wondering how exactly the team convinced certain players to join the league. In the case of Sebastian Giovinco, the pitch was simple: "How would you like to be the ...

And Now, Your Worst Failed Romantic Gestures
Back in eighth grade, I fell in love with a girl who didn't want anything to do with me, and the lovesickness got so bad that I played up the friend angle and called her every night, hoping and praying she would change her mind and want to hook up with me (NOPE). Anyway, I've told this story befo...

Three Ways To Improve Your 10K
First, go to winter training camp in Ethiopia and stay with that dope baller Geb! #Boomgettingitdone. That's Haile Gebrselassie there in the middle, notcher of 27 world records and a 26:22.75 10,000-meter guy. Of course, that was on the track, which is so so much faster than pounding out 6.2 mile...

The Hawks Had A Choir Introduce The Starting Lineup, And It Was Way Cool
In honor of Martin Luther King Jr. Day, the Atlanta Hawks brought in a full choir to sing the starting lineup before yesterday's game against the Detroit Pistons. ...

High School Team Inbounds While Up Two With 0.6 Seconds Left, Loses
Wayne High School (Neb.) took on Dakota Valley High School (SD) in a non-conference match-up Friday, and the game featured a finish so wild it would make John Havlicek blush. Down three with under ten seconds left, Wayne's Ben Hoskins hit a three to send the game to overtime. That's when things ...

Throwing The Ball Off Your Defender's Hands: The New Bounce Pass
When a player bulldogs their way into the lane, it can be tough to find a teammate to pass to. With their body and focus on the hoop, most of the court isn't in their line of vision. Hitting a teammate at the top of the key, for instance, means whipping a difficult no-look pass or telegraphing their...

Sad Derrick Rose Airballs An Open Goddamn Layup
Oooh, that is a slick little move, there. The ball-fake to freeze Timofey Mozgov, the little half-Eurostep toward the middle of the lane, the midair adjustment as Mozgov recovers to contest. And then, what in the damn hell. Did the Earth shift 18 inches off its normal orbital path while Rose w...

Chinese Dunk Contest Features Terrible, Hilarious Dunk
The Chinese Basketball Association had its all-star game over the weekend. I really don't understand why this guy was invited to participate in the dunk contest:...