as Page 1916 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dan Snyder's Official Team Bio Is A Tour De Force Of Bullshit
When you think of Redskins owner Dan Snyder, you think of a miserable, gutless sack of shit who ruined a franchise and made an entire fanbase hate his guts. Ah, but that's just how Dan Snyder is perceived in the real world. The world of official team bios, on the other hand, is magical place where a...
Beau Hossler Is Young, Has A Missing Caddy
On the third hole of the final day at the U.S. Open, our teenaged Beau hit a shot into the sand. He would get on the green on his next shot, though likely gritting his be-braced teeth—what with all the sand and aggravation. His caddy then went to clean up after him in the bunker. But, it appears h...
Steve Urkel Threw Out The First Pitch In Washington, D.C. Yesterday
The problem with playing such a well-known and ridiculous character is that you completely lose any kind of personal identity you had before playing that character. We all know his name is Jaleel White, but who would ever call him that?...
Your Sunday Afternoon Open Thread Smorgasbord
We've got Baseball starting now across this great land. Then at 2:45 p.m. we've got Denmark-Germany and Portugal-Netherlands in Euro 2012 action. The U.S. Open also concludes this afternoon/evening and Game 3 of the NBA Finals is on ABC at 8:00 p.m. (I'll probably throw up a separate thread for tha...
Curt Schilling Is Now On Leave From ESPN
Well, now that Curt is being sued by Citizens Bank for the $2 million (and other costs) he borrowed as personal guarantor on behalf of his failed video game company, 38 Studios, he's probably due for some time to sort things out. ESPN does expect the Baseball Tonight analyst to return later this se...
Female Indian Athlete Accused Of Rape, Having A Penis
Here's a song we've heard before. A female athlete is accused of not being a female. This time, the woman's name is Pinki Pramanik and she is an Indian runner....
British Driver Anthony Davidson Goes Airborne At Le Mans
After his car was clipped by the Ferrari driven by Piergiuseppe Perazzini, Anthony Davidson's Toyota went airborne in a sickening twisting flip before crashing into a safety wall of tires. He was taken to the medical center but appears to be in good condition....
Your Saturday Open Thread Smorgasbord
Hey, sorry 'bout that. Here is your place to talk about why there will be two soccer games going on at the same time, whether Tiger Woods is back and other random things about baseball. Get nuts!...
Mark Grace, Daisy Dukes, The Meat Sweats And A Middle Finger: Just Another Day At The Ballpark
So, as many of us now know, the Texas Rangers have some absurd hot dog that costs close to $30. It's a testament to the American spirit and Texas in particular. The bigger the better. It's also perfect "human interest" fodder for visiting team crews to discuss when they roll in to town....
Justin Tuck's Crazy New Facemask Is Awesome <em>And</em> Functional
This season New York Giants defensive end Justin Tuck will be taking the field with a particularly striking helmet that looks like something that a mean robot would wear. Although the mask is aesthetically pleasing and will make Tuck look undeniably badass, it actually serves a purpose as well....
Manny Ramirez's Dreads Will Cause Drug Use, Abortion, Gayness, Blindness, Fan Tells The A's Triple-A Affiliate In Insane Voicemail
This disgruntled fan of the Sacramento River Cats would like you to know that she is NOT fuddy duddy. Nor is she a crackpot. She just thinks that Manny Ramirez's dreadlocks are the reason that "unwholesomeness" is spreading across the American landscape. I strongly urge you to listen to this voic...
Heavy Wind Nearly Propels Grounds Crew Worker Into Orbit
Keep your eye on back row of grounds crew workers in the video above, specifically the fourth person from the left. Even if you can't find him right away, you certainly will by the six-second mark, when the wind launches him several feet off the ground. That's Kyle Smith, the general manager of th...
Erin Andrews's Contract Is About To Expire, And No One Wants To Hire Her Away From ESPN
Around the time that news of Michelle Beadle's departure leaked, there was (surprise!) a US Weekly report that ESPN sideline reporter Erin Andrews and Gossip Girl guy Chace Crawford had gone out on a "couple" of dates. There were also a bunch of tweets about how much time Andrews spends with models ...
Right Before Jason Kubel Homers, Diamondbacks Broadcaster Mark Grace Says Jason Kubel Will Homer
No, really. Just before Scott Feldman went into his wind-up to deliver a 2-0 pitch, that's exactly what Grace said. And, lo, that's exactly what Kubel subsequently did. Watch for yourself below....
How Not To Be The Biggest Asshole In Media: 4 Lessons I Learned From Meeting Jay Mariotti And Reading His Awful Book
It's been almost two years since Jay Mariotti last wrote a sports column or appeared on ESPN. In that time, sports media's ur-controversialist—a pioneer of the sportswriters-being-dicks-on-television genre—has pleaded no contest to misdemeanor stalking and assault-related charges stemming from a hai...
The USTA Will Make The U.S. Open The Most Fogeyish Grand Slam Tournament
For years, the U.S. Open was the antidote to Wimbledon and Roland Garros' fussiness (the Australian was basically just irrelevant and a big Whatever). At the Open there were ungodly late matches, bigger stadiums, the made-for-TV scheduling bonanza in Super Saturday, loud music, longer commercial bre...
Swedish Team In Trouble After Bare-Assed Game Of "Butts Up"
In my schoolyard it was called "butts up." In yours, it might have been "asses up," "wallball," "red ass," "suicide," but the game is the same, and taps in to the primal center of young boys' brains. It's essentially handball, but the first one to run up a certain number of "outs" must lean against ...
Jean Borotra, The Most Interesting Man In Tennis, Won 19 Grand Slams And Escaped A Nazi Prison
Republished from The Classical....
Who Will Win This Year's U.S. Open? Probably Someone You've Never Heard Of
Golf's major tournaments just haven't been that interesting lately. Over the last 17 majors, there have been 16 winners. In theory, this could be nice! A little diversity, a little surprise. But since Tiger's sabbatical, we've lost any hope of narrative. Individual sports thrive on story lines, riva...
Charlie Villanueva Says He's Not Overweight, Tweets Photo Of His Bathroom Scale
John Calipari is once again coaching the Dominican national team, because he's John Calipari and fuck you. (Also: recruiting.) Olympic qualifying begins in a few weeks, so it's time to make some cuts. First up: one of only three NBA players on the preliminary roster....