as Page 1934 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Marshall Baseball Player Sues Frat After Being Startled By Anus-Mounted Firework
Louie Helmburg is a sophomore, and the backup catcher for the Marshall Thundering Herd. He hit .226 last year, with three RBI and four runs scored, and missed part of the season when he fell off a deck at the ATO house after one of the brothers fired a bottle rocket out of his ass....

Josh Hamilton Apologizes And Admits He Had "Three Or Four" Drinks Monday Night
Hamilton joked, at a question-free press conference earlier today, that he wished he were there to talk about a contract. Alas. According to Jon Heyman, the Rangers also hired Hambone a new accountability coach after the incident Monday night. (Clarification: Hamilton also said he drank after those ...

20 Rules For Your Super Bowl Party
Originally published Jan. 29, 2009....

Kobayashi Almost Pukes, Smiles At The Cameras, Obliterates Wing Bowl Record
Philadelphia's biggest eaters didn't stand a chance this morning against the superhuman maw of Takeru Kobayashi, who set a new Wing Bowl record by eating 337 chicken wings. The old record of 255 wings—set last year by Joey "Super" Squibb—was doomed by the end of the second round, making the final a ...
![Report: Josh Hamilton Had An Alcohol-Related Relapse Earlier This Week [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/18j4mq2f6b713jpg.jpg)
Report: Josh Hamilton Had An Alcohol-Related Relapse Earlier This Week [UPDATE]
Rangers outfielder Josh Hamilton—the 2010 AL MVP and four-time All-Star whose battle with drug and alcohol addiction nearly ended his baseball career—had a relapse with alcohol at a Texas bar on Monday, reports Gerry Fraley of the Dallas Morning News. ...

The Weird Relationship Between Brian Cashman And Louise Meanwell, His Alleged Stalker
Yes, the woman in whose apartment I tried on Brian Cashman's pajama pants Tuesday night, the one who says she was the Yankees GM's mistress, is the same woman who was arrested at 5:45 p.m. yesterday outside her Leonard Street apartment. Her name is Louise Meanwell (she's also used the surname Neathw...

Woman Arrested For Allegedly Harassing Brian Cashman
A 36-year-old Manhattan woman was arrested yesterday and faces charges of aggravated harassment of Yankees GM Brian Cashman, as well as stealing money from him....

ESPN Combines Pirates And Astros Into Something "Other" That Might As Well Give Up
It's one thing to have no chance. Quite another to not even have the chance to show the world you have no chance. ESPN has since made a correction, but they probably had it right the first time. [HardballTalk]...

"Cut Back To A Wide Shot. Open The Skull": The <em>Faces Of Death</em> Guy Looks Back
John Alan Schwartz was on a California beach, trying to capture something life-affirming on camera. Or something that at least would contrast with death. He had a woman and a baby in a hot tub. This was going to be the final scene of his 1978 movie Faces of Death—a low-budget stunt project that wo...

"They're Just Waiting Until We Die": Former NFL Players Suing The League Describe Its Indifference Toward Injuries
On a coffee table at his suburban Dallas home, Tony Dorsett recently laid out two pages of color-coded images for a reporter from the Associated Press, saying they show how his brain is slowly dying. The images were brain scans, and Dorsett said doctors told him the red parts indicate his brain's l...

The Mavs Were So Fed Up With The Officiating, Rick Carlisle Kicked A Ball Off A Little Kid's Head
The Thunder took 33 trips to the line, and the Mavericks didn't think that was particularly fair. "We attack the basket strong and didn't get anything," said Shawn Marion. "They call ticky-tack down on the other end."...

Stephen A. Smith Did America A Favor And Flipped Skip Bayless The Bird
While I'm hesitant to praise ESPN First Take blowhard Stephen A. Smith for anything, an exception can be made for moments of distinguished valor—or at least doing something every single one of us has wanted to do on multiple occasions, like flipping Skip Bayless the bird. Last week Terrell Suggs ...

Apparently Darko Milicic Never Invests Any Of His Money, Or Even Puts It In A Bank
Former NBA scrub Casey Jacobsen—not to be confused with former MLB scrub Bucky Jacobsen—blogs occasionally for SLAM from Germany, where he now plays for Brose Baskets. His most recent post, where he describes his NBA teammates with senior superlatives, offers a real gem about Darko:...

Dear Brian Cashman, I Am Wearing Your Pajama Pants In Your Mistress's Living Room
Back in October, Deadspin acquired photos that showed Brian Cashman, general manager of the Yankees, meeting with an alleged girlfriend in February 2009. Soon after that story ran, we were tipped off that Cashman, still married to his wife of 16 years, had ended that particular affair but had since ...

Charles Oakley And Anthony Mason Had Some Profane Opinions On Those Awful Raptors Jerseys
Flash back to the '95-96 season, when the Toronto Raptors entered the NBA wearing their cartoon dinosaur jersey. (It's incredible that this was only 16 years ago, and someone thought these were okay. I mean, they were mocked at the time, but not enough. Not enough.) A former Raps employee recalls a ...

Here's Aston Villa's Ridiculous Own Goal That Put QPR Up 2-0
It's been another mediocre season for Aston Villa, and no play may characterize the struggles of the claret and blue squad than this play, in which Stephen Warnock cleanly lands a header directly into his own net. Villa landed a goal of their own late in the first half to cut QPR's advantage to 2-...

At Least Eight 40 70 People Killed After Egyptian Soccer Fans Storm Pitch (UPDATE)
Supporters of Egyptian side Al Masry invaded the field after today's 3-1 win over Al Ahly in Port Said, attacking Al Ahly players and security personnel. Al Jazeera is reporting that eight people have been killed and more than 60 injured. [via 101 Great Goals]...

Dan Borislow Told His Players To Call Him "Daddy," And Other Tales From A Miserable MagicJack Locker Room
We've told you all about Dan Borislow, the renegade owner who managed to bring down the whole of Women's Professional Soccer. His abusive, racist, sexist emails. His "Batmobile-like motorcycle." His complete inability to run a team, and his total unwillingness to market it....

Here's A Nifty Little Assist From An Egyptian Soccer Match Today
In today's Egyptian soccer showdown, Haras El-Hodood bested El Ettehad El Sakandary 1-0 on a this goal from Ahmad Hassan Mekki. But it was the trickery-fueled assist from Mohamed Tarek that truly bears mention....

Comments Of The Fortnight-Ish: Blood Week Edition
Let's talk about originality. When a joke makes you laugh, who exactly gets to claim credit for being a funny comedian?...