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The Week In Deadspin
A selection of stories from the week we were all, inexplicably, DeShawn Stevenson....

Finally, Someone Asked Alan Thicke About The Riots
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Jason Seaver gets the final word....

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To Wimbledon
A quick primer on SportsFeat: Every day, we post great sports writing from across the web, both new stuff and classics. A companion to Longform.org, the site is designed to be used with services like Instapaper and Read It Later, so you can read the stories later on your phone, iPad or Kindle. You c...

Meet Vancouver's Golden Riot Couple
"An avid traveller and aspiring stand-up comedian, the 29-year-old Mr. Jones has been in Canada on a 12-month work visa since last fall and has worked in the hospitality industry in Vancouver. He and Ms. Thomas are going on a trip to California soon and plan to move to Australia later this summer." ...

Ladies Day At "The Queen's Favourite Racing Event" Featured Brawls, Call Girls, Face Tattoos And £98 Bottles Of Champagne
Yesterday was Gold Cup Day at the Royal Ascot, traditionally the "highlight of the summer calendar for the well-off and well-connected" in Berkshire, U.K. But according to a report in the Daily Mail, the well-off and well-connected vibe has devolved into something resembling the ass-end of a NASCAR...

Watch As The Phillie Phanatic Tries To Get A Fan To Flash The Crowd
According to MLB video from today's Phillies/Marlins game, this image comes from when the "Phanatic dances with a fan." According to tipster Zach K, "the Philly Phanatic attempts to convince this girl to flash the crowd, and when she doesn't, he forcibly shoves his snout down her throat."...

DeShawn Stevenson Sounded Vaguely Sober At The Mavericks Parade Today
DeShawn's first public appearance since his first public intoxication arrest on Tuesday night was perfect: he stepped to his interview with a Soulja Boy song as backdrop (his partner in the forgettable DeShawn/Soulja vs. LeBron/Hova beef), threw up a three-goggles sign, smiled dazedly out at the c...

Deadspin Gives Back
If you're in the catering and/or bulk "grill chicken salad" business, here's your chance to get a jump on Bil Wilson's mother's birthday next year....

A Sneak Peek At The <em>Moneyball</em> Movie
Entertainment Tonight scored a preview of the Moneyball movie about Billy Beane and the A's that nobody thought would ever get made. It's the most teasing of teasers, with Brad Pitt (Billy Beane) slurring his lines, Jonah Hill (a character based on Paul DePodesta, who refused to let his likeness be...

Brian Cardinal Is A Champion
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: look, someone wanted to talk to Brian Cardinal!...

Breaking: Bryce Harper Does Something That's Pretty Cool And Won't Offend Anyone
The Chosen One evidently has a habit for sneak-attack leap-frogging his teammates. Those contact lenses are committing a double miracle: a career turnaround, and actual, on-the-record inoffensive behavior. Praise Harper!...

NFL Is Surprisingly Uncool With Its Players Appearing In Uniform Advertising "Pornstar Exxxtravaganza"
To be fair, those five players are Brandon Flowers, Eric Berry, Kareem Jackson, Jacoby Ford, and Major Wright, and we're willing to bet most potential patrons of the Pornstar Exxxtravaganza wouldn't have identified them all. They needed their uniforms....

Stay Soft, Dirk Nowitzki
Even before Dirk Nowitzki lifted a championship trophy on Sunday night, he was being held up as a new man. Nowitzki had reinvented himself, we were told. He'd finally "shed" the Euro-soft label plastered to him throughout his career and, to much adulation, morphed into the sort of rugged warrior tha...

DeShawn Stevenson Arrested For Public Intoxication, Has Also Not Slept In Days
"Irving police said they were called to the Grand Venetian apartments about 10:30 p.m. local time Tuesday to check out a report of an intoxicated person walking in the area. They found [Mavs forward DeShawn] Stevenson, who does not live there, and he did not appear to know where he was." [ESPN]...

Nationals Unveil "Iconic, Defining Element," A Hamburger You Can Get At The Mets Game
Nationals Park is clean, cozy, semi-convenient, and all-around quite serviceable as a major league ballpark. But nothing there grabs you like PNC Park's view, or AT&T Park's bay, or Minute Maid Park's stupid hill. Nationals Park is a forgettable place to watch a forgettable team. But not any more! (...

Emotional Story Inspires ESPN Anchor To Quote Mariah Carey
There's a lot going on here. A lot of stimuli, you know. Let's break it down....

German Newspaper Credits Dirk, "First White MVP Since Larry Bird," With Defeating "Ghetto Basketball"
We regret to be working in translation here, because this piece, from Die Welt's Peter Schilling, might just be more objectionable in German. Here's the translated version, working from this original....

Yes, Mark Cuban Takes The Trophy To The Urinal With Him
He will not let the Larry O'Brien Trophy out of his sight, evidently, and with good reason. Congratulations, sir, you've earned it. Just watch the spatter....

Howard Kurtz Is An Expert On Sports Platitudes Too
CNN and Daily Beast star Howard Kurtz, who has built his career as a media expert through his keen sensitivity to the prevailing conventional wisdom, also follows basketball. And "follows" is the word, to judge by his Twitter observations over the weekend....

Minor League Team Hands Out LeBron Championship Rings, And Yes, They're Non-Existent
You know you done goofed when they're making fun of you in Peoria. The Cubs single-A affiliate was planning on honoring the 1990s Chicago Bulls teams on Thursday night, but they decided on an additional giveaway....