as Page 2001 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

We're Sick Of Joe Theismann All Over Again
It's difficult not to pity Redskins fans, who, in addition to being Redskins fans, have to hear Joe Theismann talk about preseason football during preseason television broadcasts. And last night, just after Brandon Banks ended an otherwise splendid punt return by flipping the ball out of his hand ...

The Italian Basketball Team Will Run Circles And Circles And Circles And Circles Around Everyone At EuroBasket
This clipboard belongs to Simone Pianigiani, the head coach of the Italian national basketball team, and we're told that it almost always resembles a toddler's masterpiece (and, yes, possibly an unintentional dong as well)....

MMA Fighter Has A More Racist Fantasy Football Team Than You
A small confession: I have often dreamed of creating a fantasy basketball team composed exclusively of players with the surnames Jefferson and Jackson. (The team, obviously, would be called the Jefferson-Jacksons, in reference, obviously, to the nascence of the Democratic Party.) Never have I dreame...

Today In Shameless Corporate Behavior: The Redskins Hawk Obsolete Donovan McNabb Souvenir Cups
First, Dan Snyder sold Redskins fans the old peanuts he got from a bankrupt airline, as Dave McKenna mentions in "The Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder." (You have just experienced "We Are All Dave McKenna CCX.") Now Snyder is charging fans at FedExField $6 for Donovan McNabb soda cups. Oh, ...

Whoever Broke Into Chris Cooley's Art Gallery Did Not Care Much For The Art
Local police in Leesburg, Va. are searching for the suspect that broke into Chris Cooley's art gallery on South King Street early Friday morning. Thankfully, no art or pottery was stolen in the burglary. More importantly, though, Chris Cooley owns an art gallery....

Matt Cassel's Burden Is Heavier Than Anyone Imagined
Your morning roundup for Sept. 2, the day after we didn't have any change to toss into Bruce Springsteen's guitar case. Photo courtesy @IndianPacker, via @Sportsfeeder1. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The Boston Pro Lacrosse Team With A Mascot Who Loved Lap Dances Has Suspended Operations
Boston Blazers President and GM Doug Reffue announced — in a letter to "the Blazers community" on the team website — that the three-year-old National Lacrosse League franchise was temporarily closing up shop. They're looking "both locally and nationally" for a new home for the 2013 season....

Yeah, Ryan Braun Is Still Hearing About His Failed Inside-The-Park Home Run Trot
Last night, it was video of Reggie Miller watching Ryan Braun of the Brewers falling face first after rounding third....

Now Comes The District Of Columbia To Protest The Dumbassness Of Dan Snyder's Dumbass Libel Suit
It was always going to come to this. After being abused by Dan Snyder for over a decade, DC is finally fighting back. The city's Attorney General this week intervened in Snyder's increasingly desperate case against the Washington City Paper, arguing, more or less, that the wee Redskins owner is a ti...

ESPN Will Put Unranked Texas In The Top 25, Now That They Own The Longhorn Network
If you consume an ESPN product, be it online or broadcast or magazine, we hope you are prepared to hear about Texas at least as often as the teams that actually matter, no matter how many games they lose. This is what happens when they invest $300 million in a team-specific network. ...

The Pregnant Man Is Very Upset With Chaz Bono
Where to begin? Ok, the cast....

Pitcher Who Set An Olympic Strikeout Record Arrested For Cooking Meth Near An Alabama Grammar School
Here's a short version of Billy Lyle "BJ" Wallace Jr.'s life: Such a good baseball player as a youth that he made the 1992 U.S. Olympic team, notched a record 14 strikeouts in a game vs. Italy, was the the third pick in the MLB draft, signed a $550,00 contract with the Expos and knocked around the ...

Eric Bledsoe Can Fly
Here's a final look at last night's Goodman-Melo game—we posted highlights earlier today—from photographer Colin A.J. Murphy for Voice Media. You can see the full photo here....

Wade Belak, Another NHL Enforcer, Found Dead (UPDATE: A Suicide, According To <em>Toronto Sun</em>)
Longtime NHL defenseman Wade Belak, who spent much of his career with the Maple Leafs, was found dead at 35 today in his Toronto hotel, according to a report from QMI Agency in Canada....

Kansas State's EcoKat Mascot Will Reduce Energy Usage And Humiliate The School
The Kansas State administration may need a refresher in the 2011 version of "braggin' rights." The school is taking on rival Kansas in something called the Take Charge! Challenge, which aims to increase recycling and conservation efforts at the two institutions....

Paul Pierce And Michael Beasley Had Asthma Attacks During A Game In China, Because Everyone Was Smoking
There are known hazards for NBA players considering playing a year in China: they might not let you out of your contract if the lockout ends, and you could always get hurt, like Michael Beasley apparently did on Monday. But one of the things they don't tell you about is the omnipresent clouds of smo...

BEARS!!! At The Rangers Game, Yo
Your morning roundup for Aug. 31, the day we spent way too much time reading about the Yarn Harlot's visit to this year's Sock Summit. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. [Photo: MOCKSESSION, obvs.]...

Astros Announcer Pauses, Reflects, Remains Completely Baffled By The Foreign Concept Of Reggaeton
We will admit that we didn't really expect the broadcasters of the NL Central's most insipid ballclub to be familiar with the collected works of reggaeton superstars Don Omar or Daddy Yankee. (Though, come to think of it, "Dame Mas Gasolina" describes Octavio Dotel's career well.)...

The Nationals Are Now Using Their Mailing List To Send Fans Ads For Discount Furniture
Damn it, Bob of Bob's Discount Furniture. We expected more out of you. Never mind that you already advertise during Mets and Red Sox games. The Nationals? Really?...

Javaris Crittenton Allegedly Killed That Lady Because Someone Stole $55k Of Jewelry From Him
From the AP: "[Crittenton] appeared to be retaliating for being robbed of $55,000 worth of jewelry, police said. [...] Crittenton told police he and a friend were leaving a barbershop around 10:50 p.m. April 21 when two teenagers surprised them as they returned to their car, according to a police re...