as Page 2003 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

MLS Rivalry That No One Cares About Takes To The Highway
Billboards! We love billboards. Love it when someone has something so important to say, they can't afford to run the risk of not telling a passing motorist....

Michael Vick's Dog Receives Key To The City
Back in February, when folks in Dallas were outraged that the city's Mayor Pro Tem had awarded Michael Vick with a key to the city that, he explained, was really "for the children," the Dallas Observer ran the headline that included the phrase, "As It Turns Out, Anybody Can Get a Key to the City of ...

Viking Maul Ball On The Orkney Islands
Occasionally, we'll select stories - old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime - that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: An examination of "The Ba'," a primal form of mass rugby and a male rite of passage that erupts every Christmas in Kirkwall, a town on the ...

Basketball Training Of The Future Is Terrifying And Nauseating
Our French tipster Antoine sent this in with the subject line "ro basketball team training with robots," perhaps because he's aware of our constant fear of the Robot Uprising. But the Futuroscope that helped Poitiers Basket 86 develop their spatial recognition or some such nonsense doesn't inspire...

The Constitution Gives You The Right To Flip Off Rival Fans
A huge court ruling has gone completely under the radar. It's not a steroids witch hunt, or a BCS antitrust suit, but something far more important to the day-to-day lives of sports fans: protecting your First Amendment right to bear middle fingers at a football game....

How Bartolo Colon's Fat Ass Resurrected His Career
A Dominican medical team designed a rejuvenation treatment, in which they'd inject stem cells into the pitching arm, for Pedro Martinez. He turned them down. Bartolo Colon didn't....

Here's Video Of LeBron James And Delonte West Sharing A Brief But Loving Embrace Last Night
Your morning roundup for May 12, the day old coot Yogi Berra will come up with something witty to say about turning 82, even though he's only 81....

Your NBA Playoffs Open Thread
The Miami Heat can put the Celtics down like a mangy mutt that was good for about a fifth of its lifetime tonight. And you know what? Good for Team Olbermann. And good for the United States of America. Rondo might as well have smeared some of Schilling's ketchup on his jersey....

Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part II: "... His Tongue Raging Against His Boss's"
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit hears the bell tolling. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All Dave McKenna XCVI.")...

Announcer Stays Cool As Foul Ball Smashes Into Press Box
At a game last month, Southern Illinois University Edwardsville announcer Joe Pott maintained his composure and his baritone has a ball came through the window at him. Keep an eye on this guy, folks. [h/t Daryl]...

Rockies Grounds Crew Member Trapped Under Tarp, No One Notices
Last night, just three weeks after the Royals grounds crew nearly lost one to the tarp, the rain delay at the Mets-Rockies game carved a new swathe of destruction at Coors Field. There were no men lost; only a hero made....

Lamar Odom Turns To Video Games For His Hoop Dreams
OK, maybe this is rock bottom for Page 2, but there's an excellent mental image in here: Lamar Odom last week playing as Lamar Odom in NBA 2K11 against the Mavericks, and his opponent letting him win....

Mysterious Blackjack Savant Single-Handedly Busts Tropicana Casino
The New Jersey Division of Gaming Enforcement yesterday reported April revenue for casinos in Atlantic City. The numbers, down across the board, are disheartening for the second-biggest gambling market in the country. Heartening for the rest of the world, however, is that the Tropicana Casino and Re...

It Was Wrestling Mask Night In Anaheim
Your morning roundup for May 11, the day the pre-prom body cavity searches were called off....

We Are All Dave McKenna XCV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is consumed by the fires of justice in DC Superior Court, where fires of justice occasionally erupt, possibly in trash cans reserved for frivo...

Washington Wizards Have Brand New Jerseys, Hopefully A Brand New Game
The Washington Wizards unveiled their Bullets- and nation-inspired new logos and uniforms in D.C. today. They're red, white, and blue, because of America, which team president Ernie Grunfeld says "our players love... It's appropriate that the Wizards, Mystics and Capitals now share their colors and ...

The Thunder And The Grizzlies Gave Us A Special Kind Of "Classic" Last Night
The Memphis Grizzlies have been typecast, ever since we decided they were relevant enough to be typecast at all, as the unlikely success story with an unlikely GM and an advertised bad streak. They have "blue collar players" for a "blue collar town." The Oklahoma City Thunder, meanwhile, have slid...

Fashion Has Swallowed Tom Brady And It Won't Let Him Go
Rakish. Jaunty. And, it covers the hair....

We Are All Dave McKenna XCIV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is walked to slaughter under an angry moon....

Turkish Soccer Fans Injure 25 Police Officers Rather Than Let Visiting Fans Into Their Stadium
No, this is not footage of a coup d'état in Turkey, this is footage of the violence that broke out between soccer fans before the Bursaspor-Beşiktaş game this past Saturday. The Turkish Football Federation had to cancel the game after angry fans rioted, injuring 25 policemen....