as Page 2005 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Winner Of Iowa-Iowa State Gets This Awful Trophy
This is the new Cy-Hawk Trophy, given annually to the winner of the Iowa State-Iowa football game. It depicts an Iowa farmer presenting to his family some of the subsidy-fattened corn crop that he will soon sell to an Archer Daniels Midland processing plant in Keokuk, whereupon the corn will be conv...

This Evening: Thanks To ESPN, Matt Hasselbeck's Hair Has Grown Back
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 19, the day your oxygen tank totally took away from our enjoyment of classical music. H/T to Pony_Express for the screen grab. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The Chinese Basketball Association Doesn't Want Kobe Bryant To Play Next Season, Either
One nice, unproductive distraction from the lockout has been to speculate about which NBA players will spend the lockout playing in China, Turkey, and, somehow, England. But now the Chinese Basketball Association has gone and deprived us even of that pleasure, announcing today that it would not perm...

Bucs DT Gerald McCoy Thinks Very Little Of Chiefs Backup Tyler Palko, Or Is It "Calabaloo," Maybe?
The Bill Belichick machine throttled Tampa Bay last night. It was 28-0 at the half, Brady and Ochocinco clicking like they were young lovers. But Buccaneers defensive tackle Gerald McCoy saw the whole thing as a learning experience, although not an experience to learn the prior opposing quarterback'...

This Just Might Be The Worst Slide In Baseball History
This is from way back in July, but after being brought to our attention by Hot Clicks, via Logan Morrison, we'll do our part to make sure everybody in the world sees Graham Taylor hurl himself onto the plate like a sack of potatoes with MS that was just struck by lightning....

The Blue Jays' Sign-Stealing Operation Is A Lot Less Sophisticated On The Road
Your morning roundup for Aug. 19, the day we went fishing and caught a scuba diver instead. H/T to Jamo for the photo, which he got from a friend at the Jays-A's game who texted him to say: "Guy looks into binoculars for five seconds then holds up sign that says either 'OFF SPEED' or 'FAST BALL.' S...

Before It Went To War With China, Georgetown Was Quite Excited About Its Overseas Mission
Georgetown University sent a hype-man of an email to graduates and others in June. Oh, what could have been if things didn't devolve to diplomacy decimation with the quickness....

Here's Video Of Bryce Harper Getting Helped Off The Field After Hurting His Hamstring Tonight
Washington Nationals prospect/messiah Bryce Harper of the Harrisburg Senators came up lame after trying to advance from first to third in the 8th inning against the Akron Aeros. He couldn't seem to put much weight on his right leg as he got helped off the field....

Tonight, One Baseball Player Ran His Fingers Through An Opposing Player's Hair
Tipster Michael M. shared this picture he took off of his television after the Reds/Nationals game commenced following a 38-minute delay. It's titled, "Brandon Phillips likes Michael Morse's pretty hair." Anyway, Phillips went 3-for-4 with an RBI while Morse was 0-for-3 with a run in the Nationals'...

Announcer Is Sorry His "One-Eyed Jimmy" "Just Came Out"
In the most MLS injury ever, Jimmy Neilsen, the Danish goalkeeper for Sporting Kansas City, was hit in the eye with a flying Omar Bravo bobblehead last night. He laid on the pitch for about four minutes, got stitched up, and returned to play in a 3-1 win over Portland....

China Would Prefer Not To Dwell On Any Incident That May Or May Not Have Occurred Between Georgetown And The People's Liberation Army
Here's the online front page of the state-run English-language China Daily this afternoon. Welcome to China, Joe Biden! Hey, wasn't that goodwill mission supposed to include a basketball game?...

Here's Video Of The Georgetown-China On-Court Fight
Via @bubbaprog at SportsGrid....

Pitcher, Batter Reconcile HBP Over Twitter: "Just Grazed The Schnaz A Little Bit"
This is a beautiful story of modern reconciliation. Last night, Toronto's Brandon Morrow hit Mariner Casper Wells with a pitch. The outfielder was forced to sit out the remainder of the game, which deprived him of the chance to extend his home run streak to five straight games....

Georgetown Brawls With Chinese Team
This is not how you do a goodwill tour....

NCAA Takes A Good Long Look At Its Rules, Decides To Maybe Allow Student-Athletes To Put Spread On Their Bagels
The NCAA has released their proposed legislation for 2011-2012, a list of bylaw additions and alterations proposed by member conferences. Some are important; others are less so, and they'll all be voted on at the Board of Directors meeting next year, and could go into effect next summer....

You Won't Believe The Crazy Shit That Happened At Tony Romo's Bachelor Party
"The 31-year-old signal-caller and his 14 or 15 buddies ditched the alcohol and partying. Instead, they traveled to a cabin in West Virginia and played a few games of hide-and-seek." [Dallas Morning News]...

There's Always A Silver Lining To A Serena Williams Injury
"Despite the injury, Williams said she may now attend her celebrity friend Kim Kardashian's wedding this weekend to [Nets] basketball player Kris Humphries. 'Now that I have time I probably will,' said Williams. 'I hadn't thought about it.'" [Yahoo]...

The Hidden Victim Of Yahoo Sports' Miami Report: Former Florida Guard Teddy DuPay
Yesterday's Yahoo Sports dressing-down of The U included all the usual NCAA hand-wringing: illegal cars, strippers, and cash. We got a little excited because stripper abortions and bowling Donna Shalala were involved. (Anytime there's an investigation this big, there has to be the littlest bit of so...

Yes, Donna Shalala Went Bowling With The Rogue Miami Booster And Sebastian The Ibis
Once upon a time, Donna Shalala was a dignified cabinet member during the Clinton glory years. She was Secretary of Health and Human Services, the first female to miss the State of the Union as a designated survivor in case of an attack....

Gregggggg Easterbrook Is 5,000 Years Old
The coming return of the NFL means it's time for yet another season of ESPN columnist and Christian Mr. Spock Greggggg Easterbrook writing 50,000 words about how smart he is and how stupid and ungrateful the rest of the world is. And, as a bonus this season, Easterbrook is now really old and out of ...