as Page 2014 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Kyrie Irving Ignores Obnoxious Dookie Letter, Chooses To Enter NBA Draft
Alert the Dookies: independent, self-acting human Kyrie Irving has elected to enter the NBA Draft, coach Mike Krzyzewski announced today. The freshman guard was not swayed by sarcasm. We just hope he heeds Drew's request for his departing act. [GoDuke.com]...

The Epic Story Of A New Jersey Prosecutor Who Stole My Idea And Made Fantasy Baseball History
"I got Rickey Henderson and Roger Clemens."...

Wahhhhhhhhh You Put Politics In My Sports!
Last week, we posted this column making fun of Gregg Easterbrook's criticism of President Obama filling out a bracket. Now, this wasn't really a political post. It was a post designed to say to horrible things about Gregg Easterbrook, which I'd argue is a nonpartisan cause. But here is what happens ...

Derrick Mason Says Roger Goodell Is A Joke For HGH Stance
This is not going to make America's $1 Commissioner very happy: Derrick Mason, Ravens wide receiver and an NFL vet so tenured that he debuted with the Tennessee Oilers, thinks Roger Goodell is a joke....

Blackhawks Wing Brouwer Whiffs Badly On This Hit, Injures Shoulder
Your morning roundup for April 6, the day Netflix struck an exclusive streaming deal with the Derek Jeter of TV....

This Texas Rangers Broadcast Clip Will Someday Be Evidence In Divorce Proceedings
Fun stuff from tonight's Rangers-Mariners telecast—good, old-fashioned Texan chivalry....

Apply Within To Become The Next Head Coach Of Princeton Men's Basketball
Sydney Johnson, who coached Princeton to victory over Harvard in the game of the century, and then hung tight with Kentucky in the first round of March Madness, took the head coach job at Fairfield University today. You may see the irony there, since it's usually Princeton that poaches faculty at th...

No One Is Going To Cleveland Indians Games
On Friday, Cleveland opened its season on the losing end of a slugfest with the White Sox. Not the worst opening day possible, however much air Fausto Carmona's 3-inning, 10-run performance sucked out of the building—catching stud Carlos Santana went 3 for 5 with a homer....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit apologizes to us all for being written by lawyers who were clearly browbeaten by Dan Snyder into writing anything at all, given what a dumbas...

EA Sports' <em>NBA Elite</em> Takes The Year Off, New <em>NBA Jam</em> Coming This Fall
After the disastrous, last minute cancellation of NBA Elite 11, Electronic Arts is keeping its basketball sim video game on the bench for another year, saying that it won't ship a new entry in the NBA Live/NBA Elite franchise until… [Kotaku] ...

Phillies Fans Show Commitment To The Team By Doing Keg Stands On The Train
Over the weekend, these Phillies fans celebrated a win by doing keg stands on the subway. What's impressive about this is the fact that somewhere between attending a Phillies game and getting back to their home (or maybe dorm rooms), these guys procured an entire keg and then somehow managed to el...

UConn: The Unappreciated Cinderella
All the talk yesterday was about Butler's Cinderella run to its second consecutive NCAA final, and much of the talk afterward was how disappointing it was to see the Bulldogs fall short again, and in such hideous fashion....

Dookie’s Obnoxious “Open Letter” To Kyrie Irving As Obnoxious As You’d Expect
Last night's NCAA title game was horrible to watch, so thank goodness Chris Cusack of the Duke Chronicle, who was apparently born with a bronzed asshole, is sending the 2011 college basketball season out on a high note by writing this very hateable open letter to Kyrie Irving....

When European Basketball Fans Get Excited, They Light Their Stadiums On Fire
Here we were thinking VCU fans were having "riots" last week, but they're nothing compared to Panathinaikos BC fans. In this European basketball game last Thursday against Barcelona, Greek basketball fans torched their own stadium. Yes, what you see above is a basketball game — not a race riot....

UConn Provides An Official Celebration Video That Conveniently Excludes Rioting And Fire
A premiere research university like Connecticut has a certain image to uphold, even when its Division I basketball team wins a national championship and the entire student body goes apeshit crazy overnight. At UConn, this video suggests, students join together to peacefully sing "We Are the Champi...

The Quirks Of Gambling On Professional Wrestling
Since the dawn of time, it's been mankind's dream to own the Sports Almanac from Back To The Future Part II. If one could know the result of a sporting event beforehand, one could make untold riches by gambling on it. While the Novikov self-consistency principle — or perhaps Calvinism — means this c...

Jim Nantz Predictably Overdoes It With The Dog Puns
To be fair to Worst Man Jim Nantz, we understand that a Huskies-Bulldogs final is a bit like Christmas for him. A Christmas trimmed with multiple opportunities for insufferable references to dogs and winning. And so when the buzzer sounded, Nantz dropped three dog puns in under 20 seconds. It was ...

This Year's "One Shining Moment" Includes Very Few Moments From The Title Game
Your morning roundup for April 5, the day Michael Jackson took watch over Fulham FC's stadium....

Your UConn-Butler NCAA Championship Open Thread
This one's for a considerable amount of the Tostitos. Will it be the likable Bulldogs, swiftly moving from giant-killers to giants? Or the Huskies, who haven't lost since we still considered the Big East fearsome?...

We Are All Dave McKenna LX
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit is shillelaghed into the hereafter....