as Page 2047 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Devils' Advocate: White Men Can Jump
Every week, this recent Duke graduate will offer you a new reason not to hate the Duke Blue Devils, the bestest basketball team in the land. You are free to disagree....

Select Your Own All-Time Greatest Jewish-American Basketball Team!
Hey, this is funnnn! It spits out customized scouting reports and everything. (My chosen ones, The Stars of David Stern, have "terrible" chemistry thanks to the "notoriously testy" Art Heyman.) Gregg Easterbrook should make one for the entertainment industry. [Tablet/FreeDarko]...

Today In Unfortunately Named Minor League Baseball Teams: The Sugar Land Skeeters
"The team will be known as the Skeeters, which celebrates the hometown love of warm Texas nights and an itch for baseball." They left out "one who ejaculates all over the place." God help that poor mascot. [ABCHouston]...

Last Night's Winner: A WWF-Themed Wedding, Featuring Howard Finkel
Watch this, and you might actually want to get married. Don't show it to your lady, though, or she might not want to marry you....

Joakim Noah Went Into A Steam Room With John Elway And Lived To Tell The Tale
During the Bulls annual "Circus Trip," two important events took place that may chart the course for the rest of the team's season: they shared Thanksgiving dinner together as a team, and Joakim Noah shared a hotel steam room with John Elway....

Bruce Pearl Gets In Amusing Zinger On "Dumbass" Lane Kiffin
Pearl, on his suspendable offenses: "I've made mistakes, I clearly did, but what I was hoping for was that some other dumbass would get on the front page and take me off the hook. I miss Lane Kiffin." [Knoxville News Sentinel]...

Here's That Nice Lady Getting Her Boob Licked At The Florida State-Florida Game (LEGAL UPDATES)
Yesterday we brought you a young lass made insta-notable by a fortuitously timed fall from atop a pickup truck. We were sent some more documentation of her UF-FSU tailgate afternoon, and it turns out she's...free-spirited. [NSFW]...

Why Is Danny Ainge Dicking Around On His Phone When He Should Be Working?
Last Wednesday, UConn and Kentucky faced off in the Maui Invitational Final. Kemba Walker had blown the tournament up in the previous games and saw his NBA Draft stock rising, so why was Celtics GM Danny Ainge so bored with the proceedings?...

The 12 Best Sports Agents In The World
A ranking, courtesy of our friends at Business Insider....

Last Night's Winner: The Case For The BCS In The NFL
Just what was Derek Anderson laughing about? We're just guessing, but maybe it's the fact that his Cardinals, at 3-7, are just two games out of first. Someone's going to win that division, and they might not even be bowl-eligible....

In The Future, Even Robots Will Blog About Athlete Dong
StatSheet, a Durham-based company with only nine employees, is developing a network of sports blogs that run entirely on automated content. Their "robot army" is already producing content for all 345 men's college basketball teams. Be afraid, blogosphere....

Alabama Football Staffer Fired For Playing "Take the Money and Run" Before Iron Bowl
The university announced that the part-time employee was fired for playing "unauthorized" music at Bryant-Denny Stadium. The unauthorized music also happened to be directed at Auburn quarterback Cam Newton....

Your Barcelona-Real Madrid Scoring Bonanza Goal Roundup
The Clasico match between Barcelona and Real Madrid was absurdly lopsided. Barca netted five goals in an utter domination of Cristiano and the rest of Jose Mourinho's crew. Enjoy our compilation of the bloodletting....

And Now A Cavalcade Of Dick Puns Related To A Singapore Water Polo Team's Swimsuits
The story: A water polo team were given a dressing down on Thursday for wearing trunks with an ‘inappropriate' likeness of their state flag. Oh it's so lovely to see this ball propped so high on this tee......

Matt Cassel Liked Sticking It To Pete Carroll
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the Chiefs QB is somewhere over Dwayne Bowe, so to speak....

Your Barcelona/Real Madrid Second Half Open Thread
It's 2-0 Barcelona at Camp Nou. I know I'm not the only person asking myself 1) Why did Ronaldo get away with shoving Barca coach Pep Guardiola without taking fist to face and 2) Messi really dove, didn't he?...

SHOTY Quarterfinals: No. 4 Jay Mariotti vs. No. 5 Jason Whitlock
It's the media subregional! It is worth noting that the only two media folk to make the SHOTY final eight are both former ESPN employees. Well, then, the decks must be swabbed shiny clean over there then....

Canadian Football Player Breaks His Leg Like An American Football Player
Leron Mitchell broke his leg during the Grey Cup last night. It's really awful, but the YouTube description is beautifully poetic: "Leron Mitchell snaps his leg during the CFL championship game. His team also lost." When it rains in Canada, it pours....

Weekend Winner: The Big East, College Sports' Honest Harlot
TCU, a school approximately 400 miles west of the Mississippi, will soon play sports in a conference called the Big East, FanHouse informs. You have to admire the Big East. It never fails to be the hardest-working lapdancer in the room....

Stumbly, Pot-Bellied Redskins Fan And Compatriot Receive Beating At Hands Of Other Redskins Fans
...and then the cops show up and everybody stands around for a few minutes before the person taping confirms that he recorded the whole thing....