as Page 2056 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Listen To Jim Gray's Awful Super Bowl Sign-Off
Jim Gray delivered the Super Bowl sign-off for Westwood One Radio. It was already quite the piece of work, but adding the "Rudy" theme song really just brought it to another level....
HS Baseball Coach Cuts Double-Amputee Pitcher; Quickly Becomes Worst Human Ever
This young man is Anthony Burruto, a sophomore at Dr. Phillips High School in Orlando and an aspiring pitcher. Burruto was born without a shinbone in his left leg and without a fibula in his right, and doctors amputated his lower legs when he was just a baby. He's been playing baseball since he was ...
We Are All Dave McKenna VII
Have you read Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder" yet? You should. We'll be linking to it every day until Snyder's dumbass libel suit is thrown to the dogs. Today's topics: Dan Snyder — petulant shit, rough talker, lapsed free-speech warrior....
Here's The Crazy 4-Point Play That Ended The Villanova-Rutgers Game
After trading threes in the final minute, Rutgers senior Jonathan Mitchell converted a four-point play and the unranked Scarlet Knights knocked off No. 10 Villanova, 77-76. Impressive, but worthy of the storming of the court? I always lose track of the rules....
Zurich Soccer Fans Are Enthralled By Gene Simmons's Tongue
Your morning roundup for Feb. 10, the day we regretted the harm our actions have caused our family, our staff, and our constituents....
"Dear Pathetic, Ignorant Twats": The Duke/UNC War Of Words Heats Up
It's an annual tradition for the editors of the Duke Chronicle and the Daily Tar Heel to exchange trash talk letters in advance of their schools' first matchup of the season. We got them both, and boy, do the young minds of Tobacco Road have a way with words....
We Are All Dave McKenna VI
This is Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we will be linking daily until Snyder's dumbass lawsuit gets tossed into the Potomac. Today's topics: the Redskins' top PR guy covering himself in stupid, and Dan Snyder being a petulant shit....
Beer Commercials' Real Target Audience
Tom Scocca explains that all-male, groin-punch-infested beer ads are designed not for adults but teenage boys. Apparently, boys go to great lengths to procure beer. Who knew? But Scocca, like us all, still can't comprehend the Pepsi Max spots. [Slate]...
HS Hoops Team May Boycott Its Racist Coach
At Richmond Heights High School in Cleveland, the boys' basketball team has started the season undefeated, at 15-0. But earlier this week, the players and their parents came together to attempt to unseat their coach, Jason Popp, as he allegedly calls them the n-word on a regular basis....
The Man In The Orange Suit Could Not Believe His Eyes
Your morning roundup for Feb. 9, the day we realized we'd developed a dangerous addiction to Hint Of Lime Tostito chips....
NHL Hall-Of-Famer Gets A Little Handsy
Paul Coffey misses the camaraderie of the NHL. We really hope that's the explanation for this....
We Are All Dave McKenna V
Presenting, once again, Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we will be linking daily until Snyder's dumbass lawsuit gets laughed out of court. Today's topics: Baja Fresh, propaganda, and Dan Snyder being a petulant shit....
There Is An Army Of Senior Citizens Spying On Kansas Athletes
A volunteer army, with code names like "Red Dog," roams the halls of KU, making sure the athletes actually attend class. Don't fuck with them. They lived through The Big One....
A-Rod Gets Upset Over Popcorn Shot In Most A-Rod Way Possible
Believe it or not, Alex Rodriguez reportedly "went ballistic" after finding out that Fox ran this loving moment with girlfriend Cameron Diaz during the Super Bowl. He accused the cameraman of being "out to get them in a paparazzi-like shot," which, according to Bill Zwecker's source, is crazy becaus...
Russian Olympic Mascots Aren't Horrifying, Are Confusing
The 11 candidates to be the mascot for the 2014 Sochi games aren't as soul-scarring as the London duo, but...wait, is that a dolphin on skis? Is that...Santa Claus? [via Fourth-Place Medal]...
The Rare Vomit-Inclusive Quadruple-Double
Niagara's Anthony Nelson puked his guts out in the first minute of play, then promptly went out and put up the first triple-double in school history. Oh, and this posterization. [Niagara Gazette]...
Michael Vick Gets Key To Dallas, Shit From Owner Of His Former Pit Bull
Michael Vick had a long week in Dallas. At first, he was maybe hosting a party with a SWAT team and its own trailer that eventually got called off and that he had "no intention of participating" in anyway. Luckily, Vick's personal mentor Tony Dungy canceled the party....
Guns N' Peas Is Where The Trajectory Of Man Began Its Steady Decline
So the Black Eyed Peas covered "Sweet Child O Mine" at the Super Bowl last night, with Slash helping out on guitar. First of all, FUCK YOU SLASH. You just spent the last bit of goodwill you earned from NOT being Axl. Secondly, the journey to our eventual self-extinction has begun....
We Are All Dave McKenna IV
Here, once again, is Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we will be linking daily until Snyder's dumbass lawsuit gets tossed. Today's topics: vanilla ice cream, literalized metaphors, and Dan Snyder being a petulant shit....
We Are All Dave McKenna III
On the third day of linking to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder" until Snyder's dumbass lawsuit gets thrown out of court, let's tally the team's playoff accomplishments since his reign of ownership commenced....