as Page 2081 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tarp Surfing Is Neat, Pointless
I suppose skateboarding gets boring after a while—one can kickflip only so many times—so these young men deserve some credit for creativity. But why two levels of pretend surfing? That said, this should happen during rain delays. [Kottke]...

Ooh, Ooh: Cristiano Ronaldo Is Getting Married!
Frankly, thank Christ for Facebook — without it, Cristiano Ronaldo's life might maintain an element of mystique, but then everyone would be bored....

Last Night's Winner: The NHL Growing A Pair For Once
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the NHL, which by rejecting Ilya Kovalchuk's contract did the right thing; unfortunately they've been doing the wrong thing for so long, they just come off hypocritical....

Carl Crawford Takes A Major League Nutshot
Here's Crawford taking a pickoff throw in a very sensitive area. He would leave the game, with our sympathies....

Jeff Gordon's Ex-Wife Being Sued For Naming Her Son After Him
James Dixon, the father of Brooke Gordon's 1-year-old, has taken her to court, demanding child support and that he have Dixon's last name instead of "Gordon." Dixon should be happy: without Jeff Gordon, Brooke wouldn't have any money to give. [Scene Daily]...

America's Dumbest Student-Athlete: Tremaine Billie, Clemson University
Mr. Billie AKA "T.Billie" has received multiple nominations thanks to the unfortunate "e-portfolio" he created when he was a student. It's a masterpiece....

Today In Things Making You Fatter: Baseball
Shocking news out of the halls of SI today: all-you-can-eat deals at baseball games are extremely unhealthy, and teams might have some ethical obligation to stop such promotions. To the pull-quotes!...

Last Night's Winner: Whatever's Left Of Sportswriting's Conscience
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Dave Kindred, who the other day threw some heat at Mitch Albom's bean and gave us moderate hope that the sportswriting establishment isn't completely out to lunch....

Rangers Pitcher Hit In Head With Comeback Liner
Tonight in the bottom of the 6th, Rangers reliever Dustin Nippert took a hard liner to the head courtesy of the Tigers' Austin Jackson. Nippert seemed shaken but ultimately walked himself off. He is currently listed as day-to-day, according to MLB.com....

America's Dumbest Student-Athlete: J.J. Redick, Duke University
Although this isn't technically what we're looking for, it's still pretty great to revisit Redick's batch of "poetry" which Sports Illustrated wisely published in earnest. The boy likes to rhyme....

Now They're Tasing Fans At Minor League Baseball Games
Another cop tased another unruly sports fan on Saturday, this time at a Daytona-Fort Myers Class A game. Between this and the explosions, minor league baseball is starting to resemble Greek basketball far more than anyone should be comfortable with. [Busted Coverage]...

Incredibly Fun Video Of A Fireworks Mishap At A Minor League Baseball Game
Everyone loves a good minor league baseball fireworks show. Unfortunately, whether you've bused in a group of epileptics or not, these things just don't go according to plan....

Weekend Winner: John Daly's Pants
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like John Daly's technicolor pants party explosion which added some needed zing to an otherwise boring British Open....

When Notre Dame Football Players Get Arrested, Touchdown Jesus Weeps
Ain't no party like a South Bend party, cause by the time a South Bend house party gets stopped by police, someone's hand is going to get lacerated and some police officer's camera is going to take a mugshot of Joe Montana's son Nate....

Buy Anna Kournikova For 15 Minutes
Add the Philadelphia Freedoms professional tennis team to the "Needs to Re-learn How Liam Neeson Reacts to Human Trafficking" list....

Mayweather/Pacquiao Deadline Passes, Mayweather/Pacquiao Deadline Doesn't Really Pass
As far as media conference calls go, the 3 a.m. ones are the best....

Hot New Trend Sweeping Through Suburban Chicago: Beating The Crap Out Of Mascots
Have you heard? Anybody who's anybody knows that the coolest thing to do now—at least in the lawless cesspool of the northwest suburbs of Chicago—is to beat up a mascot at an amusement park. Random assault fever—catch it!...

America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Nominee: Eric, University of Wisconsin-Parkside
From a reader named Mark: This is an essay from a former University of Wisconsin-Parkside wrestler for an intro to writing class....

Last Night's Winner: The Ugly-Ass LeBron James Pendant's Sense Of Self-Worth
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the $10,000 LeBron James pendant, which would be happy to know how loved and wanted it is — if it were alive. Hmmm......

America's Dumbest Student-Athlete Nominee: Steve Blake, University Of Maryland
This essay titled "Happy days at Johnny's" was submitted multiple times by Duke fans who claim this ridiculous ode to Johnny Rockets burger joint was penned by former Maryland guard Steve Blake. Embrace the happiness....