as Page 2129 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

JaMarcus Russell Is The King Of Mardi Gras
Russell, the newly crowned King Elexis I, will lead the Mobile Area Mardi Gras Association parade. He'll also show you his C-cups for some beads. [Press-Register]...

Moon of Venus: It Appears One Williams Sister Forgot To Wear Her Bloomers
This just in from a reader named Luke who's watching the Australian Open highlights on ESPN2: Thong? No unders? Huh? Just on espn2 moments ago.... Raw hiney, after the jump. (NSFWish?)...

Today In TMZish Sports: Kardashian Denies Engagement Rumor, Bobsled Lady Shows Keister, Rachel Uchitel Turning 35
These are some of the things that are happening in the nether regions of the sports gossip world. This news is not breaking. It is not exclusive. There are no exclamation points. We did not pay for these photos....

It's Winter, So That Means Many Publications Will Rank Ladies Based On Physical Attributes
Like AskMen.com, which has released its annual "Top 99 Women" gallery. Find out which starlets campaigned for Obama (many), who has designed a tin condom and which semi-famous girl started her career as a Sports By Brooks gal. [AskMen.com]...

Last Night's Winner: Non-Number One Teams
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Kentucky, who will soon be number one thanks to Kansas State, who took care of the last number one. Everyone comes out ahead! (Except Texas.)...

A-HOLE COACH DIGEST: Mexican Bicycle Chain Edition!
Welcome to Asshole Coach Digest, where we regale you Deadspin folk with stories of the meanest, cruelest, most batshit insane coaches you ever had. Email me your asshole coach story here....

Only Starbury Can Go To China
The 32-year-old Stephon Marbury just a signed a contract with Shanxi Club of the Chinese Basketball Association. Communism has officially lost. [Reuters/NY Post/FanHouse]...

Alaskan Hockey Space Bear Is Back To Tear You A Brand New One
Who knows what terrible sin humanity committed against the Alaska Nanook, but that bear is irate. Okay, maybe we shouldn't have frozen him in the Arctic, but is that any excuse to destroy Planet Earth with a kick-ass '80s soundtrack?...

Drew Brees Will Never Know Peace In Life Or Appetizers
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Don't. Look. Behind You.
On the same day that everyone reports Wade Phillips will get his extension, the Cowpokes go and lay an egg. A huge, missed-field-goal, turnover, overmatched-secondary-shaped egg.(Via: Kurtenblog)...

A Children's Treasury Of Bizarre Injuries
The Sun-Sentinel has put online a database of more than 374,000 emergency room visits. We present some highlights from the worlds of sports, sex and...other....

Goal Of The Year? Goal Of The Year.
The ECHL's Victoria Salmon Kings get their puck-handling on, and inspire an entire generation of aspiring athletes to think pass first. Oh wait, no they didn't....

If This Man Texts You, Do Not Answer
A high school baseball coach is on trial for inappropriate conduct with his players, but this one's different than the usual coach-student sex scandals....

NFC Playoff Open Thread: Romo. Favre. Ad Nauseam. Go.
On the plus side, you'll stop hearing about one of these QBs after today. On the minus side, you'll definitely continue hearing about the other. Choose your preferred natural disaster in the comments. [NFL.com]...

Your Ill-Advised Foul Of The Week
High school team hits gamewinning three at the buzzer. Team charges opposing bench to gloat. Ref awards technical foul, opposing team hits free throw to send game to overtime. Opposing team wins. That'll mean a few laps. [Romeo Observer]...

Jose Offerman Lives The Dream, Punches Ump
We here at Deadspin prefer it when athletes commit their assaults on the playing field. It means we get to see it all on video....

Mark Ingram, Mateen Cleaves, The Heisman And A Baby Walk Into A Bar...
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Stories That Don't Suck: Joe Willie, Drug Hysteria, Blago Agonistes, And I'm With CarCar
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....

So You Think NU Can Dance, Week 3: A Star Emerges From The Loins Of An NBA Ref
A weekly feature in which author Benoit Denizet-Lewis follows the fortunes of the only BCS school to have sucked so consistently and spectacularly that it has never made the NCAA tournament, Northwestern. Current record: 12-4. Tournament prospects: Still goodish? Maybe?...

Don Cherry's Tentacles Are Long And Numerous
The CBC's bombastic and colorblind analyst swore up a storm at a young radio reporter, and was taken to task by another station's producer. Guess which got suspended? All you kids out there...it wasn't Cherry....