as Page 2136 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Where Business Is Always Good
Former major leaguer and current AAA coach Richie Hebner still digs graves and drives a hearse in the offseason. Good thing he's in the Orioles organization; he can dispose of Garrett Atkins's career. [Detroit News]...

Things So Bad For Ducks, They're Cheering For Huskies Now
Oregon fans gave Brandon Roy a standing ovation before last night's game. UW's Brandon Roy. Who was decked out in purple UW gear. What's wrong with this picture?...

Ben Roethlisberger Reportedly Accused Of Second Sexual Assault
TMZ reports that police in Milledgeville, Georgia, have interviewed Roethlisberger about sexual assault claims made against him early this morning. The incident allegedly took place at Capital City Pizza, "known for their crazy college dancing atmosphere then anything they serve."...

Spilly Says To Get Off The Couch: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....

Tailpipe: "I Bet You'd Like A Three-Breasted Woman"
We recently discovered the incredible phenomenon of NASCAR-themed romance fiction, stories filled with passion and grease and beautiful people being driven swiftly to ecstasy and Victory Lane alike. What follows is a brief selection from one such tale....

Brittney Griner Suspension Is Typical, But Not Enough
NCAA rules demand that a player who throws a punch in a game get an automatic one-game suspension. Brittney Griner's coach gave her one more to grow on but even if that's normal, it's not really what she deserves....

IF YOU GIVE A MOUSE A CHEEZ DOODLE
Just this once, the library is relaxing the rules against talking. And yelling. (By the way, if you were a kid, wouldn't this be the absolute worst field trip ever?) [Twitter]...

Cincinnati Reds: The Looming Tower
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Cincinnati Reds....

Last Night's Winner: Football Dorks
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like nerds who get excited about tender offers, no-trade clauses, and transaction wires. It may be the offseason, but not for restricted free agent hounds....

A Children's Treasury Of Mascots Eating People
Mascots are running wild at our sporting events, both home and abroad. Who will put a stop to the madness? And why won't the music coordinators at these arenas use Temple of the Dog in place of Weird Al?...

Wizards Tickets Less Valuable Than A Pot Of Coffee
The NBA has an exciting new promotion where fans can earn two free tickets to a Washington home game simply by drinking five cups of Dunkin Donuts coffee. Or save up for a sixth cup....and get another cup of coffee!...

Clippers Fandom Now An Exercise In Spiritual Enlightenment
"For me, being a Los Angeles Clippers fan for over twenty years has taught me firsthand about the spiritual dimensions of faith and suffering, and has helped me better understand my own Hindu tradition." [Huffington Post]...

Kansas Coach Apparently Has Quite The Social Life (UPDATE)
It was a full house in Lawrence as KU downed K-State for the Big 12 Championship, including one well-known adult film star. So who hooked her up with floor seats?...

Detroit Tigers: Spare Us The Rod
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Detroit Tigers....

What Are We To Do With Brittney Griner?
Baylor's Brittney Griner assaulted someone on a basketball court last night and after dealing with LeGarrette Blount and Elizabeth Lambert, it's still not clear what the appropriate level of hysterical moral outrage should be....

Last Night's Winner: Rioters
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Maryland students, who finally got an excuse to smash the state with some real grownup civil disobedience. Wait, did Rick Reilly® sign off on this?...

Beat Writer Continues Nationals Coverage, Sans Newspaper
Just because the Washington Times fired their entire sports section, Mark Zuckerman isn't going to stop doing his job. For someone to cover the Nationals voluntarily, I'm not sure it's going too far to call him a modern day Jesus....

Canada <em>Still</em> Hung Up On That Hockey Game, Apparently
A video package of Canadian Olympic highlights, culminating in Sidney Crosby's goal, played during the Star-Spangled Banner at last night's Sens-Rangers game. Ottawa says it was a malfunction and apologized, but we've gone to war over less. [NY Post]...

Unborn Baby Yao Causes An International Incident
Conspiracy theorists in China believe that Yao Ming just brought his pregnant wife back to the US so she can give birth to an American citizen. Lou Dobbs is not going to be happy....

Rich Eisen's 40-Yard Dash An Amusing Special-Effects Bonanza
When he isn't impersonating Howard Cosell, Rich Eisen is straight running things on the NFL Network. Things like the 40-yard dash, which Rich ran in a slight-breeze-inducing 6.25 seconds....