as Page 2163 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Attendance Should Be A Record High For This Giveaway
The Royals need a worthwhile promotion to draw fans in August. Figurines are too conventional. There must be something else. Hmm. Tough one. How 'bout urine?...

Once More To The Pool
Summertime, oh summertime, when on Sundays, pointless galleries seem to make some sense. So, voila! Now go do a cannonball....

Science Throws Little League A Curveball
Little Bobby throws a curveball and, soon, he whines about a sore elbow. He blames it on his fledgling 12-to-6, but Little Bobby is just craving sympathy. Hate the player, not the game, Bobbo. It's science....

Hopefully The Wilpons Have Extra Chairs
Mets fans are sick and tired of being sick and tired. The team is playing like balls. They're gonna do something about it ... bug the executives!...

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Miller Park
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The Milwaukee Brewers' Miller Park....

Your Weekend Throwgasm Breakdown: Ice Cream Cone Physics, Rain Delays, And Stinky Dongs
The week's ending. You need shit to do. Well, fear not. For I have compiled a list of worthy activities, media and/or ingestible chemicals to help you entertain yourself....

Food And Drink For Thought With Natalie Gulbis
The Evian Masters offered car service and breakfast and a private golf critique on the Hudson with Natalie Gulbis, and when someone offers a town car, an omelet bar and golf lessons with a star, it's generally polite to accept....

Japanese Baseball Robots Already Elected To The Hall Of Fame
Japanese nerds have invented baseball-playing robots with talent far exceeding our own Major League all-stars and they don't require Gatorade or HGH. Well, I guess that's it. We had a great ride, humanity, but our time has passed....

Your Daily Dead Mets Walking Update
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Bingo The Bumbling Bee Bashes His Bee Balls
That's life for the Double-A Mets. First the VP of player development goes Fight Club on them. Now their tinpot mascot crotches itself during a failed home run celebration....

Ben Roethlisberger's Full Statement About The Sexual Assault Lawsuit
A defiant Big Ben denies "reckless" and "outrageous" allegations of sexual assault, doesn't take media questions, and says he will only address this in the "appropriate forum." (Respect the legal process! Truth prevails!) It's gonna be a long year. [WTAE/ESPN]...

Jay Mariotti On Erin Andrews, AutoSummarized
"Why was the Internet ... giving semi-lives to people with no lives?" thunders Mariotti, who writes for the Internet. The column goes on in this vein for 1,500 words. Let's send this through Microsoft Word's AutoSummarize function, shall we?...

This Looks Like A Job For Rusty Kuntz
Padres' AAA affiliate looking to move. Is the world ready for the Beaverton Beavers? [Oregonian]...

Mascot Intolerance Is A Shark Sandwich
It's 2009, and shark mascots still aren't permitted in a snooty British cricket club. Get PETA on the line — and dial the emergency number. It's urgent!...

Hooded Dicks Vs. Unhooded Penises
Via Jeffrey Goldberg, this is a story from the Sept. 1, 1926, edition of the Washington Post. No word on who won. Fun fact: The Povich you see there is Abe Povich, brother of Shirley, uncle of Maury. [Jeffrey Goldberg]...

TMZ Purchases LeBron Dunk Tape Before We Do
Yes. Purchased it. Because despite Nike's best efforts to keep this thing under wraps, another amateur videographer smart enough to not hand it over has been shopping it for weeks when it became apparent the world wanted to Witness....

GET HAMMERED! Tad Kubler Of The Hold Steady On The Deadcast
This week's Deadcast guest is Hold Steady guitarist Tad Kubler (Listen here, iTunes here.) DOUBLE WHISKY COKE NO ICE....

In This Case, The Zebra Is Not A Euphemism
A Pittsburg State football player will miss this season after a zebra bit him in the arm. Why was he near a zebra in Kansas? He was moving four of them to paint a fence. Damn zebras, man. [KC Star]...

It's Fight Night On The Farm, Sponsored By Your New York Mets
So this is what the Mets have been reduced to. As if watching the team unravel like funnel cake wasn't enough, now the Mets' vice president for player development is reportedly challenging those developing players to shirtless fistfights in Binghamton....