as Page 2168 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dirk Nowitzki's Boys Are Now Swimming At A Doggy-Paddle Pace
Dirk vows choose a better receptacle in the future: "My sperm is getting slower,'' he said, grinning. "(So) eventually, I've got to trust somebody.''[DallasBasketball]...
Binghamton Zoo Doesn't Appreciate The Comparisons To That "Blight" Of A Basketball Team
The Binghamton University basketball program has had its share of image problems thanks to many of the off-field indiscretions of its players, but don't you dare compare those animals to the ones in the actual zoo....
Rasheed Wallace Never Goes Anywhere Without His Extra Prosthetic Leg
"That was the scene in the lobby Sunday afternoon at Lincoln Financial Field. Wallace, wearing a No. 58 Chiefs jersey, tossed a man's prosthetic leg back and forth." Somehow that paragraph makes perfect sense to me. [KC.com/StylePoints]...
Lions Fan Enjoys Historic Victory Sans Pants
Detroit fans have suffered through eons of metaphorical de-pantsings, so it's understandable that a few dudes attending Sunday's monumental victory would look to continue the tradition by literally dropping trou during a drunken game of grab-ass....
And Speaking Of Winning Organizations...
The Washington Nationals held a everything-must-go! charity auction over the weekend which included autographed baseballs from the likes of Wily Mo Pena and Ray King. [NationalsEnquirer]...
Meet The Mets' Sad Fan
Type "mets fan" into Google Images and you get a good cross-section of Mets Nation, everything from the disappointed to the dejected. A prime example: that downtrodden, scruffy-looking twentysomething with his hands held hopelessly atop his rally cap....
The Detroit Lions Win The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Detroit Lions, who won the weekend by not being friends with Tom Cruise. Detroit City is fixed!...
Geiger! Let's Go! (Again)
Remember Colby Rasmus Girl? Of course you do. It's always playing in your head when you've had a long day and all I really want is to sleep but it's stuck in my brain...Well now there's a remix. [imeem]...
Binghamton Cleans House
Five more Binghamton basketball players have been cut from the team two days after its star point guard, Emanuel "Tiki" Mayben was nabbed for selling crack-cocaine. The basketball program, nicknamed "UNLV East" is desperately trying to shed its misfit label....
Out Of Rehab, Michael Beasley Says He's Supercool Once More
Beasley just finished up a monthlong stint at a substance-abuse center in Houston and announced that he had moved on from weed, Twitter and adolescence in general. Whether any of those things actually constituted a problem, however, is still unclear....
Cowboys Repent For "Party Pass" Hell (Sort Of)
We reported on the special circle of hell the Cowboys reserved for their Party Pass holders on Sunday. Almost a week later, Jerry Jones is finally owning up to the mayhem which, in Jerry's defense, made the record books....
Yukkks: Bruce Pearl Apologizes For Klan Joke
Pearl, the chuckling Rotarian nuisance who is approximately one Holocaust clown movie removed from Jerry Lewis, recently told a zinger at a fundraiser that might've gone over better if he hadn't suggested that some of his Tennessee constituents were Klansmen....
Lamar And Khloe – A Tale Of Romance And Bar Tabs
So yeah, Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian are getting married. We should christen them Khlamar, because it sounds like a venereal disease....
Binghamton Guard Really Knows How To Dish The Rock
Emanuel "Tiki" Mayben set a Binghamton school record for assists last year. Now he's been charged with slinging the kind of rock you don't put into a hoop—unless if by "hoop," you mean nose & lungs. [ESPN]...
The Bleeding Kansas Athletic Department (UPDATE)
Jayhawk guard Tyshawn Taylor suffered a dislocated thumb during a brawl between KU basketball and football players in front of the student union. I bet the dispute had something to do with evolution....
We're Running Out Of American History
A painting of Tommy Lasorda now hangs at the National Portrait Gallery in D.C. Expect Vlad Guerrero shortly to lay out the painting with a broken bat. [LA Times]...
St. John's Also Excited About Ambiguous Weather-Based Mascot
Our college sports teams are rocketing into the 21st Century on a wave of aggressive, overcaffeinated, lightning-themed spirit creatures. Why is that bird looking at me like that? Is he smiling or mad? Get out of my soul, winged devil!...
How Did That "Party Pass" Work Out For Everyone?
All you haterz out there who predicted that selling 30,000 standing room tickets for Cowboy games would turn their new stadium into a lawless Thunderdome? Yeah, you were completely right....
Dimwit Redskins Fans Don't Like Dimwit Who Called Them Dimwits
Today's idiotic Twitter war is brought to you by the Washington Redskins and their fans, who booed their own team during a less than inspiring 9-7 win over St. Louis, then were insulted by linebacker Robert Henson. Wait, who?...
Tulsa's Proactive Mascot Teaches You About Electricity, I Think
Many, many years ago, Tulsa made the decision to name their athletic teams after a weather system. Today, that decision has come back to haunt them. Again....