as Page 2239 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
If A Game Lasts Longer Than Four Hours, Please Consult Your Doctor
A reader writes: "Hey guys, So I hate to have to play the "penis" card here, but somebody down in North Carolina needs to be admonished for selecting a logo with some very Freudian undertones."...
America's Most Distracted Team Still Wins NFC East
Somehow this loss is all Antonio Pierce's fault. But even though the Giants were pushed around by the revitalized Iggles, they were still NFC East champions at the end of the day. The best highlight from yesterday's 20-14 loss from a Giants perspective was Tom Coughlin's joyous sprint down the sidel...
For Your Viewing Pleasure
• 1:00 — Bowling: Lumber Liquidators PBA Tour Is there something with those 80s-ish PBA commercials on ESPN that I just don't get? Big hair and tight pants don't exactly inspire me to watch bowling on TV. Even if I do get to wear my own shoes. [ESPN]...
Big XII Championship Live Blog: #2 Oklahoma Vs. #20 Missouri
Now that you're all hero-ed out from the SEC Championship, certainly there's enough quarterback love letters in your back pocket for Sam Bradford and Chase Daniel in the Big XII Championship in Kansas City. The Sooners are about 17-point faves, which means the live blog will be interesting by, oh, m...
Oklahoma Controls Its Own Destiny...And Pretty Much Everyone Elses'
Missouri was a sexy team this time last year, poised to shock the college football world and play for a national championship, and then it shit the bed against Oklahoma in the Big XII Championship. Now the boot is on the other foot, with the Sooners poised to punch their own ticket to Miami and a BC...
For Your Viewing Pleasure
• NOON — CFB: Army vs. Navy, CBS. Pittsburgh at UConn, ESPN. East Carolina at Tulsa, ESPN2. NCAA Division II Semi-Final, ESPN Classic....
How The Gruden Stole Christmas
So are we pretty much agreed that the Big Three in Christmas specials are The Grinch, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and A Charlie Brown Christmas? (Apologies to Will Leitch). Well, one of these will not be seen in the Tampa Bay area as scheduled on Monday, as ABC is pre-empting A Charlie Brown Chri...
Sean Avery To Enjoy Nice Six-Game Vacation
In case you hadn't heard, Sean Avery's suspension has been downgraded from "forever" to six games—including two already served—meaning Elisha Cuthbert's honor should be safe for the next two weeks or so. More hilarious than the fact that a hockey player has been suspended for dirty talk is that he n...
Rudy Carpenter Still Having Trouble Behaving At Basketball Games
Folks may remember Arizona State quarterback Rudy Carpenter and his preference for not-gay pink shirts. Well, it seems that going psycho at college basketball games isn't enough juice for Rudy, so he took his act on the road—and recently got himself ejected from the gym at a girl's high school baske...
Meet Your New Washington Football Coach (Allegedly)
Coaches who follow in the debris-littered wake of Tyrone Willingham don't tend to fare well; just ask Buddy Teevens and Charlie Weis. But apparently Steve Sarkisian is willing to give it a shot, as ESPN and the Seattle Times are both reporting that his ascension to the head coaching position with th...
At Illinois, No Jock Left Behind
Here is stately Wayne Manor The Irwin Academic Services Center at the University of Illinois. Here, Illini students can use computer labs and classrooms, schedule sessions with tutors and special counselors, and even relax in oversize leather chairs and gaze at expensive oriental rugs. Wait … you’re...
And Here Are Your Nominees For Playboy's Sexiest Sportscaster of the Year
So the nominees for Playboy's 2009 Sexiest Sportscaster have been unveiled — 30 in all — and besides the usual suspects (Andrews, Lindsay Soto, Krista Voda), there are quite a few additions this year. One of which is Michelle Beisner of the NFL Network, who received unfortunate notoriety two years a...
The Moonstruck, Rather Wacky Email From Jimmy Patsos To Kornheiser And Wilbon
Being a major college basketball coach is like taking a daily bath in crock pot set at 450; you live in your basketball world 24/7, eating and breathing the insanity until stuff like what you're about to read below slowly starts making sense. Following the jump is a rather remarkable letter from Loy...
Rickey Henderson Ready To Enter The Rickey Henderson Hall Of Fame
The Baseball Hall of Fame ballots are out and there's really only one player who seems certain to be inducted next summer—Rickey Henley Henderson. Rickey was one of the most ridiculous humans to ever play organized baseball, but Rickey was also one of the best all-around players ever and a constant ...
This UFL Logo Is Easy To Swallow, But Hard To Take In
Remember that Communications 101 class you took where you'd spend hours inspecting the Land O Lakes package with a magnifying glass to search for penis-shaped trees? That was fun. But thankfully the United Football League has taken a less than subtle approach with its subliminal message. Yes, it ver...
Please Watch Your Footing NHL Fans; We Can't Afford To Lose Any Of You
Here is palatial Scotiabank Place, home of the Ottawa Senators and, unfortunately, the scene of a rather spectacular accident on Wednesday night in the upper deck. As the Sens toiled against the Atlanta Thrashers below, a gentleman was lugging beers to his seat when he stumbled and went a-sailin' cl...
Live Blog!: North Carolina vs. Michigan State at Ford "Economic Stimulus" Field
Michigan State is the only Big Ten team in the history of the Big Ten/ACC Challenge to have a winning record—and two of those wins came against North Carolina. On the other hand, that Tar Heels have beaten State three times in the NCAA tournament during the last decade. The running theme of tonight'...
Will Anyone Be Able To Keep America's Sideline Princess from Being a Two-Time Champion?
So, tomorrow at some point, Playboy will supposedly announce who this year's contestants for their 2009 Sexiest Sportscaster of the year award. Last year's winner, of course, was Ms. Andrews who was still in the middle stages of Erin Andrewsness. Could her popularity hurt her chances this year? It m...
LenDale White Wants To Beat Your Team, Take Your Girlfriend
It's been well-established that LenDale White says what he wants, when he wants. Apparently, what he wants now is to humiliate the UCLA Bruins, and one Bruin specifically—Maurice Jones-Drew....