as Page 2268 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Dwyane Wade Becomes Unwitting Spokesman In China
Dwyane Wade's plummet from fresh-faced NBA megastar to injury-prone cellphone salesman continues on its downward spiral, as the Miami Heat guard has popped up as the new face of Chinese-based "Sueper Sex", a pre-intercourse "time delay capsule" according to Black Sports Online. (Via Sports Business ...

Rays, Red Sox Let Us All Down, Fail To Brawl
So what happened to Jonathan Papelbon's prediction of fisticuffs and other mayhem when the Red Sox returned to Tropicana Field? No brushbacks or punches or obscene gestures ... all we got was some lame identity theft. Rays manager Joe Maddon spent much of Monday trying to cancel his debiit card, whi...

Lenny Dykstra's Mansion Is Up For Grabs
In the market for a new place? Lenny Dykstra is selling his $25 million home (marked down from $27.5 million due to various chewing tobacco stains on the furniture and carpets). Presumably he's getting rid of the palatial estate on the Sherwood Country Club in LA because it's too big for he and his ...

A-Rod's Late Night Creep Sessions With Madonna Reach Day Two Of Gossip News Cycle
Yesterday, OK! magazine reported the wobbly speculation about the odd, possibly steamy friendship brewing between Yankees' third baseman Alex Rodriguez and divorce-bound old lady singer, Madonna. The two were apparently seen "working out together" on numerous occasions and Rodriguez is apparently no...

Viral Sports Videos Are Getting Less And Less Believable
This video has been circulating for a couple of days, supposedly showing Redskins kicker Shaun Suisham booting a 110-yard field goal in practice. As Martin Prince would say: "Highly dubious!" (is then pummeled by bullies). Is it a real kick? Video trickery? Gus, the Field Goal-Kicking Mule? Brett Ha...

Jelena Jankovic Not Doing Any Splits After Today's Performance
Not a good week for highly-ranked Serbian women, as third-ranked superstar Jelena Jankovic went down in the fourth round this morning at Wimbledon. Jankovic, known for her salty toughness and her love of Lita Ford's wardrobe, was bounced by the 60th ranked player in early morning action....

Kevin Love: Hero Of The Cheez Doodle'd Masses
For those of you who didn't catch The Stephen A. Smith Heckling Society of Gentleman's 2008 NBA Draft offering, well, it's worth the 9 minute work break. One of the most amazing snippets of the video: it appears new Minnesota Timberwolves big man and UCLA product Kevin Love is much more SAS-savvy th...

From Cowboy To Commune To Caretaker
Until last season, Frank Clarke held the Cowboys' single-season receiving touchdown record. After being the team's first black star, he went onto become the first black sports TV anchor in the Dallas area and the first black NFL analyst on CBS. There were rumblings that he would run for political of...

Stephen A.'s Career Never Too Dismal For Heckling
Stephen A. Smith's career has fallen on hard times. He's been demoted from draft analyst to pick interviewer. Rising commodity prices have pushed Cheez Doodles above $3.15 a pound. Fortunately, the Stephen A. Smith Heckling Society of Gentlemen was at this year's draft, as they were in '06 and '07, ...

Rubes Falling For Fake Stone Cold Not Really A Stunner
A fellow masquerading as "Stone Cold" Steve Austin charged some dim bulbs at a Wal-Mart in Indiana for his autograph, then hightailed it through the crowd before a bunch of referees and backstage security could detain him. He then drank a couple beers and gave some people the finger....

Marshawn Lynch Ordered Not To Get A Dashboard Hula Girl
Amid the treacly tributes to "Kitty Litter" Leitch yesterday (even ESPN The Magazine had one!!1!!EXCLAMATIONMARK!!), we missed the news that Marshawn Lynch copped to that whole hit-and-run thing that happened in May and as a result had his license suspended. Apparently he wasn't aware he hit anyone...

Sir Sidney Gives Up No Runs; Probably Ate Them All
Sidney Ponson made his unceremonious (only to Ponson, as ceremonious occasions usually have bacon gravy) return to the Yankees in the second half of a two-ballpark doubleheader yesterday with the cross-Gotham Mets. And he laid into them like they were an Aruban judge, tossing six shutout innings in ...

Say Hello To A-Rod's New Friends
A pretty outstanding tidbit that was missed in all the madness yesterday: You remember when the Brewers ended up staying at the same hotel as a Furries convention? Well, that happened again this week, in Pittsburgh, and guess what team ended up in the Pittsburgh hotel this time?...

Our Conversation With Buzz Bissinger
For the last few months, since that rather festive "Costas Now" business, we have been loathe to expand much more on our initial reaction. But as Buzz Bissinger has continued to give interviews to the "respectable" media, making his "points," we felt compelled to talk one last time, to wrap this who...

Shawn Chacon Is Now Looking For Work
Time is running out to claim Shawn Chacon on waivers! Act now, and you will receive one slightly used Major League pitcher, ERA just above 5.00, with a tendency to throttle when perturbed. Buy it now price: $2 million. Chacon was put on waivers Thursday by the Houston Astros, one day after and unfor...

About Last Night
I feel a great disturbance in The Force ... • NBA: Derrick Rose goes to Bulls with No. 1 pick; Knicks' fans cheer enthusiastically for their top choice (just kidding; they take to the streets and riot as expected). • Tennis: The days of Andy Roddick are finished. Let the Janko Tipsarevic Era begin. ...

Part XI: Deadspin Hall Of Fame Inductee...Will Leitch
Well, that was fun, wasn't it? I'd like to thank ALL of our roasters for their contributions to today's festivities. I can't think of a better send-off for our man. I'd also like to thank the always brilliant Jim Cooke for designing the above plaque, at last granting Will Leitch permanent immortali...

Part IX: Featuring...Kissing Suzy Kolber
Special Round Of Roasting From The Gay Mafia:...

Part VIII: A Special Message From The Dugout And Buzz Bissinger
Will’s always loved THE DUGOUT. Because hey, who doesn’t like dick jokes in a chat interface most people don’t use or understand? Take it away, gentlemen....