as Page 2332 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
All Mascots Need Teardrop Tattoos
We have long felt that our nationwide mascot menace has proven, ultimately, not quite menacing enough for our tastes. Fortunately, some students at Colorado are fixing that....
The Stars Come Out For The Australian Open
For the majority of her yearly tournament appearances, 17-year-old Austrian tennis star Tamira Paszek manages to keep the twins indoors, as they say. (OK, no one says that but me). But when the Australian Open rolls around, things change. She's out there, Jerry! And she's lovin' every minute of it...
Ask Jeeves, The Butler Did It
The NBA Closer is written by our Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or shuffling around in his revolutionary sleeping bag, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast....
About Last Night
What you missed while talking like Jack Bauer ... • College basketball: Despite missing injured starters Levance Fields, Mike Cook, Ladainian Tomlinson and Philip Rivers, No. 15 Pitt still beats No. 5 Georgetown, 69-60. • NBA: Kobe scores 48, not counting Alaska and Hawaii, as Lakers beat SuperSonic...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you maneuver Tank Chair into viewing position to watch ANYTHING YOU DAMN WELL PLEASE ... • College basketball: Georgetown at Pittsburgh (7 p.m., ET); Oklahoma at Kansas (9 p.m., ET); Gonzaga at Pepperdine (midnight, ET). Screw sleep; let's watch Pepperdine! [ESPN] • NHL: New York Ra...
The Epic Tale Of Borders Porn Purchasing
Apparently, that issue of Penthouse we told you about last week has hit newsstands. We haven't seen it yet, but it's at least at Borders. But be careful, if you head out to purchase it....
Saying Goodbye To Scott Rolen
Even though the infighting between Scott Rolen and Tony LaRussa made the trade pretty much inevitable, we were still sad to see Scott Rolen traded to the Blue Jays for Troy Glaus. We like Glaus, don't get us wrong; the guy's a better hitter, younger, has a more reasonable contract and isn't afraid t...
Dana Jacobson Has The Sole Appropriate Reaction To The Mike And Mike Roast
Last Friday night, they held that "Mike And Mike Celebrity Roast" thing in Atlantic City. It was about as entertaining as you'd expected it to be, according to the Press Of Atlantic City. (No offense to Trey Wingo, but when you host half the show, and the other half is hosted by Jeffrey Ross, you're...
Not Even Zook Can Help The Illini
Jonah Keri writes the college basketball closer (more or less) daily. E-mail your questions, comments or Clarence Ceasar-related memories to [email protected]....
Shiny Happy Isiah Laughing
The NBA Closer is written by our Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or filing important documents, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast....
The Crying Game
There are times when you expect a grown man to cry; like when they confiscated all of Bluto’s booze in Animal House. But this is kind of weird. Watch here as Terrell Owens weeps openly during Sunday’s post-game press conference, all because the mean media types have been picking on Tony Romo....
NFL Playoff Blogdome
What they're saying about New York's 21-17 win over Dallas in the NFC Playoffs, plus maybe a few notes about San Diego's AFC win over Indianapolis as well ......
The Lonesome Tony Romo
Tony Romo is taking all the heat today — it's gonna get to the point that he's going to want to stop wanting to even make the playoffs — but the Cowboys' collapse yesterday was a true team effort. Despite the rosy denials of Cowboys boosters, this was a devastating loss in every possible way. (Look...
About Last Night
What you missed while finally seeing "There Will Be Blood," which apparently is playing in only one theater at a time ... • NFL: Tony Romo free to return to Mexico ... Giants 21, Cowboys 17. Eli's Comin' ... • NBA: We have good news and bad news, Lakers' fans. Which do you want first? • College bask...
Giants-Cowboys, Second Half Live Blog
If New York wins this game, they're going to have to play in Green Bay, so Gibril Wilson seems game in case they have to play another Ice Bowl in Wisconsin. But the game's only 14-14 at halftime, and we are also 4-for-4 in evenly-matched first halves this weekend. Follow along after the jump to see ...
Giants-Cowboys, First Half Live Blog
Well, it's going to be hard to top the excitement on that Chargers upset, but there's only one way to find out: guesstimation. No it won't! It won't be as thrilling! But hopefully it's fun enough to sit through another live blog, because that's what's gonna happen....
Darren McFadden's Parents Aren't Saying Nothin' About Nothin'
"Yes he is." "No he isn't." "Is too." "Is not." "Shut up." "You shut up." "No, you shut up first." "No, your mom's ugly." There, now you're officially caught up to speed on the ongoing struggle between Darren McFadden's parents and media reports alleging their son is turning pro after his junior yea...
About Last Night
What you missed while live blogging football, for reasons no longer understood ... • NCAA Basketball: Even Michigan State's football team could score more than 36 against Iowa. • NHL: Senators filed motion to beat Detroit; motion passed 3-2. • NFL: Falcons about to hire non-sockpuppet general manage...
If you're a fan of beatdown basketball, top-ranked North Carolina has a slight lead over NC State at halftime, 43-13. If this gets any worse, the Heels might put skip their bench players and just sub in the Saint Louis Billikens. [Yahoo! Sports] Update: NC State had kind of a better second half with...
Knicks W-L Record Leaked To Dolan
It's come to this. James Dolan is so bored at Knicks games games, he's brought along Winkles the sockpuppet to entertain him. Of course, he could just replace Isiah Thomas with a more competent coach, but he clearly wouldn't do that now, after all they've been through. After giving him a $24 million...