as Page 2407 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

There Has To Be A Way To Combine A Hockey Game And A Telethon
Hockey continues to feel the sting of disrespect from their network television home. This time, the slap in the face isn't national, but limited to just the Tampa market. For now, anyway. We'll have to wait and see what happens if tonight's game goes into overtime....

Gary Sheffield Will Rip The Lid Off Of It
For "aggressive actions directed at umpire Greg Gibson," Detroit Tigers DH Gary Sheffield was suspended for three games. Sheff broke his bat, and then threw the handle down ... somewhere. He says he threw it towards the dugout, Major League Baseball says he threw it at the ump....

NASCAR Is Tolerant Of All Kinds Of Things
A fellow named Chip Williams, who used to do public relations work for NASCAR, was sentenced yesterday to 26 years in prison. He pled guilty to charges of using a computer to entice a child into sexual activity and coercing a minor into sexual activity for the purpose of making pornography....

All The Sudden, Mike D'Antonio Seems Stoic And Emotionless
I particularly enjoyed the meticulous job of covering home plate in dirt. Paula Dean doesn't take that much care when she's baking a cake. Nor does she crawl around on the grass afterwards, and throw a rosin bag as if it were a grenade. But, I guess that's why she'll never be asked to manage the Mis...

Alex Rodriguez Resists Temptation
If it's true that A-Rod likes the "she-male, muscular type," then it must have been quite a struggle to maintain focus last night. Decent effort, Fenway fans ... but it wouldn't hurt you to show a little more cleavage....

Carlos Zambrano Needs A Time Out
When you're 8 games below .500, the least you could do is try to be lovable. But the Cubs, 7.5 games out in the pathetic NL Central, can't even manage that....

About Last Night...
• MLB. Yankees 9, Red Sox 5. Good news: Game 1 of the series, and we've already had 5 beanballs and 2 ejections. • Arena Football. Desperados 59, Soul 56. Desperado has finally come to his senses, it appears. • WNBA. Liberty 70, Lynx 60. Minnesota's 0-6, and I'm sure you know this, but that's the th...

Cubans Treat Their Female Umpires Much Better Than We Do
In the United States, when there's a female umpire, she's mocked, particularly if her name is Violet Palmer and she's, uh, not a particularly great referee. But in Cuba, umpire Yanet Moreno is the talk of communist baseball....

Who's the Next Allison Stokke?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

Kick Satan Out Of Your Life With The Help Of The Indianapolis Indians
What's coming up in the world of minor league baseball ... we proudly present you with Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!...

Meet A-Rod's Lady
Today's Alex Rodriguez update: They've got the name of his lady, and she's a former Playboy model. She's Joslyn Noel Morse, and she was in this issue of "Casting Calls."...

Gators Deal With The Loss Of Billy Boy
Now that Billy Donovan has officially left the Florida Gators for the Orlando Magic — and EDSBS has been quiet so far — we thought we'd ask the biggest Gators fan we knew, Dan Shanoff, to describe how he's feeling. Here are his words....

One More Thing For Giambi To Apologize For
Notes on a day in baseball:...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while frogging ... • MLB: Well, of course Bonds didn't hit a homer in the Giants' loss to the Mets. The clubhouse was too hot! • Tennis: Venus Williams bids France adieu. • NBA: LeBron, the number 48, and the Cavaliers up 3-2 on the Pistons....

The Rocket Would Rather You HGH Than Dip
As we await Roger Clemens' return to the game this Monday, we bring you this old public service announcement from Roger on the evils of chewing tobacco. The guy is a natural actor, though we really don't want to know what happened once the camera stopped rolling....

NHL Fans Are That Much More Special Today
If you didn't watch the Stanley Cup Finals Game 2 last night — and of course you did — you might have missed this odd shot of Snoop Dogg, who, for reasons unbeknown to anyone but him (and probably not him either), was wearing a fake mustache....

Hog Kid Gets Swiftboated ... We Suppose It Was Inevitable
The legend of Hogzilla II ... was it all a hoax? Did 11-year-old Jamison Stone really down a 1,000-pound feral pig in the Alabama woods, or was he home watching The Andy Griffith Show that day? As a couple of commenters pointed out yesterday, the size of said pig may have been via Photoshop. And in ...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while observing your sea monkeys ... • NHL: Senators, give in to the Dark Side you knobs. Ducks take 2-0 lead. • NBA: No team with baby-blue uniforms will ever win an NBA title ... not on our watch. Spurs oust Jazz, 109-84. • MLB: Randy Johnson — totally wearing 49ers colors these da...

Ichiro Can Move Fly Balls With His Mind
We can never quite tell if Ichiro Suzuki has an imaginative translator, or if he's even battier than we thought he was. Either way, it's entertaining. This, from after he missed a fly ball the other day:...
