as Page 837 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Patrick Beverley Has Somehow Reached A Higher Plane Of Intensity On The New-Look Clippers
Becoming a title favorite over the summer and opening the season against the hometown rival would all be hugely motivational for the Clippers. But Patrick Beverley has never required that extra fuel. By tipoff of any given game he has already showered in kerosene and used a lit match as a Q-tip. ...
Report: Sam Darnold's Toenail Removal Procedure Was "Pretty Gross"
Toenail is the new seeing ghosts is the new spleen is the new mononucleosis. Add to the never-ending list of Sam Darnold’s bizarre ailments a toenail that had to be removed on Tuesday, after the Jets QB’s foot got stepped on during his team’s spooky loss to the Patriots on Monday. Head coach Adam G...
You Can’t Turn Steph Curry Into James Harden
Stephen Curry is one of the leading conduits of migraine headaches in modern American sports. That is to say, his name is invoked when migraines are inspired, which is correlation rather than causation....
The Jets Are Being Babies About Sam Darnold's "Seeing Ghosts" Comment
The only bit of entertainment Jets quarterback Sam Darnold provided Monday Night Football viewers this week was when he candidly admitted into a microphone that he was “seeing ghosts” during his four-interception performance against the Patriots. Because no NFL team can ever just let one of their pl...
David Pastrnak Is Doing Scary Things With His Stick And I Don't Like It
A PSA: This blog is rated R for frozen violence, scenes of intense terror, and sadistic torture of a goalie.Boston Bruins winger David Pastrnak has spent the early part of this season menacing the NHL, and the league leader in goals claimed more victims in a Tuesday night win over the Maple Leafs, w...
Patrick Corbin Was The Only Choice
Dave Martinez knew it. He knew it by the fourth, when the Astros worked Max Scherzer for 27 pitches, pushing his pitch count on the night to an unsustainable 96 through four, but also he knew it on Monday, when the Nationals manager declined to name a starting pitcher for Game 3 despite having a cle...
Nationals Make Gerrit Cole Look Maybe Not Quite Human, But At Least Humanoid
The combustible Nationals bullpen tried very hard to give this away, but in the end the five runs their hitters put up on terrifying buzzsaw Gerrit Cole held up, and the Nationals escaped Game 1 with a 5–4 victory to snatch away home-field advantage in the World Series.Cole looked very much like his...
Overeager Victor Robles Eats Shit On Badly Mistimed Diving Catch Attempt
The Astros are tough as hell. They jumped out to a 2–0 lead in the bottom of the first against Nationals Game 1 starter Max Scherzer, and have made Scherzer work out of trouble in every inning so far. In the bottom of the third, with the Astros up a run, Yuli Gurriel flared a blooper to shallow left...
Surprise, Surprise: Masai Ujiri Won't Be Charged For Allegedly "Concussing" Sheriff's Deputy After Winning NBA Finals
In a statement almost perfectly timed with the beginning of the defending champion Toronto Raptors’ season, the Alameda County District Attorney’s Office has announced that team president Masai Ujiri won’t be charged for his role in an altercation with a sheriff’s deputy that happened when he tried ...
Umpire Joe West Sues Retired Catcher Paul Lo Duca Over Bribery Allegations
Umpire Joe West has had his share—some would say more than his share—of failures. You would be well within your rights to describe him as unreliable, ornery, confrontational, or an occasional obnoxious textualist. He’s been all of those things! But one thing West will not hesitate to sue your ass ov...
Astros Drop Failed Smear Campaign Against Sports Illustrated, MLB Picks It Up
Less than 24 hours after the Astros issued a statement accusing Sports Illustrated of “fabricating” a story about assistant general manager Brandon Taubman gloating to a group of female reporters about having signed accused domestic abuser Roberto Osuna, the team has changed their tune to something ...
Lawsuit Accuses Oscar De La Hoya Of Sexual Assault
Former top-rated boxer and current chairman and CEO of Golden Boy Promotions Oscar De La Hoya has been sued for sexual assault and battery by an anonymous woman in Los Angeles County Superior Court. The plaintiff says in her lawsuit that she was sexually assaulted by the promoter and ex-boxer in Nov...
Keeper Earns Record For The Fastest, And Probably The Dumbest, Red Card In League History
Look at Konyaspor goalkeeper Serkan Kırıntılı here, just casually catching a ball while needlessly outside of his box a mere 13 seconds into Monday’s match against Yeni Malatyaspor, and in so doing setting a new Süper Lig record for the fastest red card ever. It’s hard to imagine a stupider way to g...
Adam Gase Is Out Of Excuses
To list all the problems that plagued the Jets last night would be futile and time-consuming. That laugh-track loss to the Patriots, which snuffed out any cautious optimism that might have flowered from last week’s promising win over the Cowboys, speaks for itself. But going forward, the overarching...
Private School That Pocketed Public Rec Center Is Tired Of Being Criticized By Non-Rich People
Class war! Class war!...
The Brain-Poisoned Knicks Fan's Case For Frank Ntilikina
Knicks fandom is an identity unto itself—big dummy who likes pain—but it is not one big undifferentiated blob of big dummy. These fans hold a diversity of strong opinions, on players that no healthy person should have to think about any longer than a commercial break. Heading into the new season, t...
Fantasy Football Man Mad
Oh brother, can you believe that shit that happened last weekend? In the fantasy football? With the frickin’ Cardinals? They really boned us, fellas! I know you know what I’m talking about! Gah, I’m so steamed! And so is ESPN fantasy football analyst Matthew Berry:...
What In God's Name Happened To Jordan Tebbutt?
Steve Blake was eager for a game. Fresh off signing a deal with the Trail Blazers in the summer of 2014, the guard stepped onto the court at ClubSport Portland to commemorate his second stint in Rip City. ...
A Modest Proposal For The World Series Baseballs
With the World Series upon us, and the magic of the Houston Colt .45s vs. the Montreal Expos preparing to unfold before our satanically red-rimmed eyes, we can sit back, forget the rest of the world its slowly advancing state of entropy and decay and ask ourselves the most existential of questions:...
Bill Belichick Delights In Tormenting The Hapless Jets
Viewers who hadn’t already slipped into a coma Monday night will have noticed a funny sequence early in the fourth quarter of the Patriots’ blowout victory over a spectacularly inept Jets team. A pair of declined penalties against New England’s punt team produced the ultra-rare scene of Bill Belichi...