as Page 842 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Gerrit Cole Made Mincemeat Out Of The Rays
Game 5 of the American League* Divisional Series between the Astros and Rays functionally ended in the first inning. Not because the Astros put 10 runs on the board, a la the Cardinals, but because they put more than a single run on the board, in a game in which they had the insane and unfair Gerrit...

The Mystics Did The Shit
The Washington Mystics used a strong fourth-quarter surge and the interior dominance of series MVP Emma Meesseman to overcome a second-half Connecticut Sun lead, then confidently held the relentless visitors at arm’s length down the stretch to win Game 5, 89–78, and capture the franchise’s first eve...

Reports: No NBA Team Has An "F" In Its Name
Deadspin sources, who requested anonymity for fear of retaliation, confirmed to Deadspin that no NBA team has an “F” in its name. This was discovered when the Deadspin staff was using our work chat to type “F” to pay respects to a dead Macbook charger, as one does. One callow staffer refused to do s...

Rockets Flack Tells Reporter To Stick To Sports After She Asks Players About Political Expression
Russell Westbrook and James Harden each dropped 22 points in the Rockets’ preseason victory over the Raptors in Saitama, Japan. In the postgame presser, CNN’s Christina Macfarlane asked a question of the two players:...

The Inherent Demeaning Effects Of Global Capital, Bootlicking, Things Of That Nature
In a better world, we’d all probably still work a decent amount. Probably not quite as much and definitely not under conditions that work in a thousand different ways to demean and diminish every human involved at every level, while somehow serving to enrich only the worst of those, but in that bett...

The Onside Kick Is Dead. Here’s How To Fix It.
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....

Bonesetter Reese And The (Mostly Painless) Birth Of Sports Medicine
Honus Wagner’s career hung in the balance. In 1901, the superstar shortstop was in his second season with his hometown Pirates. But a wrenched knee suffered on the turf at Exposition Park—the Pirates’ home on the north side of Pittsburgh, a few hundred feet from where their current stadium stands to...

Maybe It's Not That Complicated
Over the last few days, many people in the NBA and wider sports media world have settled on a basic talking point when discussing the ongoing international incident that Rockets GM Daryl Morey kicked off when he tweeted a message of support for pro-democracy protestors in Hong Kong: It’s complicated...

Cardinals Manager Mike Fucking Shildt Gets All Fucking Riled Up After Beating The Fucking Braves
After the Cardinals tore the Braves a new asshole in Wednesday’s series-clinching 13–1 Game 5 win, Cards manager Mike Shildt ripped them yet another poop valve in his triumphant, fuck-laden postgame talk in front of his team:...

Howie Kendrick Finally Has A Legacy
You’d be forgiven, Nats fans, if you wanted Howie Kendrick out of the game long before his instantly legendary grand slam in the top of the 10th that won the Nationals their first-ever playoff series. Kendrick, despite turning in a pleasant surprise of a 2019 season that saw him become one of Washin...

Clayton Kershaw Will Never Get Over It
Clayton Kershaw was on in the eighth for two batters, and two batters only, no matter how he looked, no matter the result. Kenta Maeda was warm and ready, and after Kershaw faced Anthony Rendon and Juan Soto, Maeda would come in for a string of righties. So, just two batters, with a two-run lead. Ke...

Clayton Kershaw, Dodgers Choke Away Game 5 In Stunning Fashion
Oh man. The Dodgers absolutely cruised through seven innings at home against the Nationals Wednesday night, in Game 5 of their divisional series. Walker Buehler was once again dominant. Postseason beast Max Muncy and Kiké Hernández pounced on opportunities presented by Stephen Strasburg’s early comm...

Kurt Suzuki Leaves NLDS Game 5 After Taking Deflected Fastball To The Face
Washington Nationals catcher Kurt Suzuki was taken out of Wednesday night’s Game 5 against the Los Angeles Dodgers when a high-and-tight fastball from Walker Buehler deflected off his wrist and into his face in the top of the seventh inning. The impact was audible, and Suzuki crashed to the ground a...

Braves Fans Perform First-Inning Tomahawk Chop, Watch Their Team Immediately Melt Down Like Chernobyl
The Atlanta Braves selectively and cynically scrubbed the “tomahawk chop” celebration ahead of Wednesday’s Game 5 against the St. Louis Cardinals. This did not go far enough, as was evidenced by defiant Braves fans loudly performing the chop almost immediately after the start of the game. Moments la...

We Might Soon Learn If The NFL Exchanged Cover-Up Strategies With Big Tobacco
A New York judge gave a group of insurance companies the go-ahead to seek evidence that the NFL sought to share cover-up strategies with tobacco companies as part of a ferocious, years-long legal battle over which side will pay for claims related to the league’s concussion settlement....

Honestly, You're Being So Dramatic About Ellen DeGeneres Yukking It Up With A War Criminal At A Cowboys Game
Salah Hassan was a journalist working in Iraq for Al Jazeera in 2003 when the U.S. military arrested him, took him to the Abu Ghraib prison, and tortured him. This happened because did his job well—he was quick to the scene after a roadside bomb attack in Diyala. As Hassan spent 48 days in detention...

Mexican Soccer Club Presses Charges Against Fan For Groping Sofia Huerta During Postgame Selfie
A friendly match in Monterrey, Mexico between the Houston Dash and Tigres Feminil was marred at the end when Dash midfielder Sofia Huerta appeared to be groped by a fan while she was taking a selfie after the game was over....

Rays Win Bullpen Game Over Justin Verlander To Send Series Back To Houston
The Rays roughed up Game 1 winner and eclipse lover Justin Verlander Tuesday night, got nine innings of tough pitching from their bullpen, and grabbed a 4–1 win to send their ALDS series against the Astros back to Houston for a winner-take-all Game 5. The Rays, who were widely considered to be chum ...

Connecticut Sun Survive Massive Mystics Comeback, Force Winner-Take-All Game 5
Kristi Toliver should have worn a different shirt. The Washington Mystics’ veteran guard was not quiet about her and her team’s intentions as they walked into enemy territory in Connecticut for Game 4 of the WNBA Finals: They wanted to clinch the franchise’s first-ever championship, and they wanted ...

Ben Simmons Hit Another Three! (In A Preseason Game) (Against The Guangzhou Loong Lions)
Ben Simmons’s extreme reluctance to attempt shots from outside the paint during his two healthy NBA seasons has been overshadowed somewhat by both the vastly stranger shooting struggles of a fellow 76ers top pick, and by Simmons’s own general two-way excellence. But his shooting stroke has been badl...