as Page 858 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dog Racing Died Without A Funeral
SARASOTA, FLORIDA — The sun hadn’t yet risen over the Sarasota Kennel Club, and Deb Linn was wrist deep in 100 pounds of bloody meat. She had been been up since 4:30 a.m., when she made the 45-minute commute south from Ellenton, a small town where the rent is more affordable than in the wealthy beac...
MLB To Horny Players: Please Use The Good Dick Pills, Not The Bad Ones
Baseball players are too damn horny. So says MLB, which had to send out a memo to its players on Monday telling them to stop using over-the-counter “sexual-enhancement pills.” The risk, beyond engorged wooden bats, is that these pills have substances in them that might get flagged on a drug test....
Larry Bird Complains After Artist’s Mural Makes Him Seem Too Interesting
Artist Jules Muck recently painted a mural of Larry Bird in the Fountain Square section of Indianapolis, which features the image of Bird in his Indiana State jersey doing the “Shh!” gesture, similar to the Nov. 28, 1977 cover of Sports Illustrated. This time, though, Bird is doing the shushing inst...
Baseball Maniac Hunter Strickland Broke His Nose With A Barbell To The Face
Last time we checked in on Nationals pitcher Hunter Strickland, he was sending himself to the injured list for two months after punching a wall. While not as self-evidently stupid, his most recent injury is just as bizarre: in the run-up to Tuesday’s game against the Pirates, Strickland got hit in t...
What Do We Think Happened In Right Field On This Bunt Home Run?
Okay, yes, I know the answer to the question posed in this headline, but I’m not going to tell you what it is until you watch this clip from a minor-league baseball game and formulate your own theory:...
Bo Bichette Vs. Clayton Kershaw Was A Rad Time
Last night’s game between the Dodgers and Blue Jays turned into a blowout win for Los Angeles, and a late-August game between one team with a 19-game division lead and another that’s 14 games under .500 wouldn’t normally be worth our attention. But this game had something special, which mattered fa...
Idiot Squirrel On The Field Successfully Invades Consecutive Twins Games
For the second night in a row, a daring squirrel has invaded the field at the Twins’ stadium. Monday night the furry fellow invaded the home dugout and sent several players fleeing in terror. Tuesday night our intrepid rodent pal bolted down the first baseline, nutmegged a baserunner, briefly leapt ...
The Lakers Already Have A Center
Hey, remember back in mid-July, when the Lakers traded the moon and stars for one of the most talented young players in the NBA? Remember that? Remember when the team and the player did their big introductory press conference? Remember during that press conference, when that player—who is listed by ...
Jerry Jones Asserts His Right To Be A Dickweed About Ezekiel Elliott
Jerry and Stephen Jones held a press conference Tuesday with Cowboys linebacker Jaylon Smith, who just signed a hefty five-year extension with the team. Smith’s successful negotiations stand in stark contrast to those of wide receiver Amari Cooper, quarterback Dak Prescott, and running back Ezekiel ...
By Banning Protest Signs, MLS Is Trying To Lobotomize The Fandom It Asked For
MLS and its clubs are currently embroiled in a fight against their own supporters over what the league claims are violations of its anti-politics rules. Over the last two weeks, multiple fans in multiple stadiums have been ejected for banners that run afoul of the league’s Fan Code of Conduct. There...
Baseball's Cranks Agree: The Sport Was Better When They Were Part Of It
Hall of Fame reliever Goose Gossage has been complaining about the state of baseball for so long that his complaints have spanned multiple decades of the sport. It feels like just yesterday, he was lecturing Joba Chamberlain on “the Yankee way.” (Joba Chamberlain is now retired.) Eleven years later,...
Report: Octavio Dotel And Luis Castillo Arrested In Narcotics Sting In Dominican Republic
Who is ready for a particularly grim session of Let’s Remember Some Guys? Because according to reports coming out of the Dominican Republic, former MLB players Octavio Dotel and Luis Castillo have been arrested in what authorities have described as “the largest operation against organized crime” in ...
Please Enjoy This Brief Video Of Devin Booker Being A Pickup Weenie
In general, it’s fine to have informal house rules in a pickup basketball game. “Guard your man” is a good one, for example: Few things are more annoying or more ruinous to the flow of play than the lazy sack of crap who sags 20 feet off his man, substituting the aggregate strategic soundness of let...
Paul DeJong Pulled A "The Natural" On The Big Mac Sign In St. Louis
You know the big, climactic ending to The Natural, where Robert Redford booms a huge, pennant-winning bomb that knocks out a lighting fixture in the stadium? Okay, so maybe Paul DeJong’s sixth-inning homer in the Cardinals’ 3-0 win against the Brewers in mid-August isn’t quite that dramatic, even if...
Report: Oh God Yes, There Is "Mutual Interest" Between Dwight Howard And The Lakers
The Lakers are casting about for replacements for DeMarcus Cousins after the big man shredded his ACL in a pickup game in Las Vegas last week. The pickings are slim. Joakim Noah is available! Only slightly better than that experiment in re-animation is this: the Lakers have requested permission from...
That Is Not Markelle Fultz Or His Mom
During the third quarter of Sunday’s Indiana Fever-Washington Mystics game, the broadcast thought it had spotted a celebrity in the front row: Orlando Magic guard Markelle Fultz, who was identified alongside his mom. Great! Only it wasn’t Markelle Fultz....
Minor League Stadium Ravaged By The Dreaded Mumford & Sons
The Pioneer League’s Missoula Osprey had to postpone all of its games this weekend when the aftermath of a Mumford & Sons concert combined with bad weather to make the baseball field mushy and unplayable....
Strike Brett Gardner Down, And He Will Only Become More Powerful
When he gets upset about poor umpiring, Yankees outfielder Brett Gardner has been doing ... whatever it is he’s doing in that GIF above. Some might call it a healthy venting of frustration, but others might call it obnoxious tantrum-throwing. Someone who is definitely on Team Obnoxious is umpire Phi...
Craig Kimbrel Had To Pitch In A Ballpark Of Little Leaguers Mocking Him
The Cubs’ 7-1 win over the Pirates in Williamsport, Penn., on Sunday night wasn’t the tightest of ballgames, but the Little Leaguers in attendance had fun all the way through the end. In the ninth inning, with the game far out of reach and Craig Kimbrel on just to get some reps after coming off the ...
Orioles' Chance Sisco Capped Off A Bad Inning With A Foul Tip To The Dick And Balls
A wise person online once said, “Each day on twitter there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.” Such a quote can also be applied to the Baltimore Orioles this season. As a whole, the team has been a special kind of terrible that few people have ever seen before in their lives. Yet at ...