as Page 893 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Alex Rodriguez And His Lawyers Very Much Don't Want Anyone To See A Photo Of Him On The Toilet
There’s a photo of ESPN baseball analyst and former New York Yankees pariah Alex Rodriguez using a bathroom for its intended purpose. The picture was snapped from the building adjacent to A-Rod as he sat on the toilet, but there’s nothing explicit about it. The only notable details are that there’s ...

Tyreke Evans Kicked Out Of NBA For Drug Policy Violation
This afternoon, the NBA announced that Pacers guard and former rookie of the year Tyreke Evans has been “dismissed and disqualified from the league for violating the terms of the NBA/NBPA Anti-Drug Program.” The league said he will be eligible to apply for reinstatement in two years....

A Look Back At Kegasus, The Bizarre And Boozy Preakness Mascot
Nobody gives a damn about the 2019 Preakness Stakes....

Tony La Russa Says Farewell To His Dear Friend Grumpy Cat
Grumpy Cat, the cat that went viral for looking grumpy, has died at the age of seven. The apparent cause of death was a urinary tract infection. We now turn our attention to former baseball manager Tony La Russa to see how he’s handling the news:...

Minor League Baseball Announcer Calls His Own Sweet Catch: "I Am Very Proud Of Myself!"
In a minor league game between the Somerset Patriots and the High Point Rockers Wednesday night, a foul ball was spun back into the crowd, in the direction of the open window of Patriots broadcaster Marc Schwartz. Schwartz, who appears to be very good at his job while possessing the reflexes of a ca...

Massimiliano Allegri And Juventus Are Breaking Up
After five wildly successful years, Juventus released a statement today saying that the club and manager Massimiliano Allegri would be parting ways at the end of this season....

Andre Iguodala's Hands Are Still Crazy
I’m not saying it’s a good thing that one of the top five basketball players in the world isn’t healthy enough to play in the Western Conference Finals, but without Kevin Durant (or DeMarcus Cousins, to a lesser extent), the Golden State Warriors lose a lot of the baggage they’ve picked up as the vi...

Padres' Ian Kinsler Appears To Celebrate Dinger By Yelling "Fuck All You" At The Home Crowd
Ian Kinsler hit a three-run dinger in the sixth inning Thursday night to put his Padres up a run, 4–3, over the visiting Pittsburgh Pirates. That’s good, dingers are cool, who among us doesn’t get pumped and jacked by a mighty dinger? Do you want to get pumped and jacked? Feast your eyes on this suc...

Trail Blazers Solve Many Of Game 1's Problems, Still Narrowly Fall To The Warriors
The Portland Trail Blazers made a real contest out of Game 2 of their Western Conference Finals series against the Golden State Warriors. After getting blown out in Game 1, head coach Terry Stots rejiggered his lineups and—thank God—his defensive approach, and the result was a 15-point halftime lead...

Big Sleepy Boy Mike Francesa Conks Out On The Air Yet Again
My friends, it has happened again. For at least the third time, reluctant sports grouch Mike Francesa dozed off on the air. There are two ways you can be sure this is Francesa conking out: first, look at him, the microphone pushes his glasses an inch up his face before a hypnic jerk yanks him back t...

What The Fuck Are The Orioles Even Trying To Do Here?
The Orioles are putting MLB on notice with a new standard of uselessness never before seen at this level of the sport. The latest example came on Thursday against Cleveland when they put together one of the worst plays in baseball history. Everything about it was wrong in a way I’ve never seen base...

Former WWE Wrestler Ashley Massaro Dead At 39
WWE announced Thursday evening the death of former WWE performer Ashley Massaro, who wrestled for the company for three years after winning a 2005 “Raw Diva Search.” Massaro competed for the WWE Women’s Championship at Wrestlemania 23 back in 2007, and recently appeared to be gearing up for a return...

The Las Vegas Aces Swung A Huge Trade For Liz Cambage
The best big in the WNBA is on the move to what had been one of the league’s worst teams. Australian scoring champ Liz Cambage has received the trade from Dallas that she requested, though it won’t be to her reported favored team, the Los Angeles Sparks. She’ll go instead to the rebuilding Las Vegas...

The Mastermind Behind The College Admissions Scandal Used To Be A Crazy Middle School Basketball Coach
The members of a middle school basketball team that represented a Jewish Community Center in Omaha, Nebraska, were not expecting the 2001 season to be an auspicious one. The previous season had produced mediocre results, and there was no reason to expect much of an improvement going forward. That al...

Boban Marjanovic, Who Was Very Pumped To Be In <i>John Wick 3</i>, Kicked A Stuntman Very Far
Over at the Wall Street Journal, Ben Cohen has an extremely enjoyable breakdown of Boban Marjanovic’s star turn in John Wick 3. At 7-foot-3 and 290 pounds, Boban, then with the Clippers, was handpicked to play a large assassin in a library fight scene alongside Keanu Reeves—and for much of the shoot...

Baseball Owners Want An International Draft Because They Want Absolute Control
For North America’s amateur baseball players, be they generational talents like Mike Trout or organizational filler like Mike Fish, the road to the majors begins in the same place: with Major League Baseball’s amateur draft. There is no such system in place for international players, at least not ye...

Idiot On The Field Runs Himself Into A Corner, Gets Leveled
If you are going to run onto a major league baseball field in the middle of a game, there are two keys to survival. The first is to always keep moving, and the second is to have an exit strategy. The fan who invaded the field at last night’s Braves game followed the first rule, but failed miserably ...

Brook Lopez Leads The Bucks Over Kyle Lowry And The Raptors, Just As We All Saw Coming
In an epic matchup of global basketball superstars, Brook Lopez led his top-seeded Milwaukee Bucks over Kyle Lowry and the second-seeded Toronto Raptors, 108–100, in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals. Lowry led the Raptors to an early lead and kept them in front for the first three quarters, b...

Tragic Hero Trevor Cahill Pays Dearly For Runaway Ambition
Wednesday afternoon the Angels lost a close one to the Minnesota Twins, 8–7. Angels pitcher Trevor Cahill took the loss, allowing six earned runs in 4.1 innings pitched, so right there you already know it wasn’t his best day. The defining moment of Cahill’s lousy outing, and certainly the most regre...

Pascal Siakam Reduces "Splash Mountain" To Rubble With Savage Dunk
Seems like Bucks scrapper Ersan Ilyasova thought he’d have more help in the paint when he overplayed the right hand of Raptors forward Pascal Siakam, in the first quarter of Wednesday night’s Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals. In an unfortunate coincidence, it seems like Bucks center Brook “Sp...