as Page 958 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

No Offense, But Adam Ottavino Would Make Babe Ruth Look Like A Sack Of Pig Assholes<em></em>
There might be a couple of outliers, but for the most part, current players in any major sport would easily defeat the sport’s early legends. It’s not their fault. The older dudes were the best of their era—and some of those eras still had the color line—but they would not be the best in a later era...

Despised Coach Of Chicago Bulls, On Task Force Designed To Mitigate His Failings: "I'm Jacked Up"
It’s been just eight days since Fred Hoiberg got canned, opening up the Bulls head coach vacancy that was then filled by Jim Boylen. The speed with which the shit has leapt towards the fan strains credulity. But since the Bulls found themselves stuck under the thumb of this retrograde strongman, the...

Paul George's Two-Way Brilliance Has The Thunder Kicking Ass
Since starting the season 0-4—a stretch highlighted by giving up 131 points to the then-inept Sacramento Kings at home—the Oklahoma City Thunder have molted and become one of the NBA’s best teams. Blowout wins over elite teams like the Clippers and Warriors have been peppered in amid a tremendous 17...

Report: White Sox Acquire Starting Pitcher
MLB’s hot stove continues to burn the fingerprints off those who touch it, and the Chicago White Sox are somewhere in its vicinity, holding their palms up to try to warm up a little bit. The latest news out of the winter meetings, broken by The Athletic’s Ken Rosenthal and his associate Robert Murra...

Joel Embiid, Who Has A Migraine And Diarrhea: “I Have A Migraine<em></em> And Diarrhea”
Joel Embiid is dealing with a few ailments....

Ass Team Of The Week: Washington Sucked Down A Doo-Doo Milkshake On Purpose
Not so long ago Washington was a boring football team that nevertheless appeared destined to play in precisely one playoff game, which all Americans could feel comfortable skipping. On Sunday, though, they found themselves down 40-0 to the Giants, a very bad team that was also playing without Odell ...

LeBron Manages To Accidentally Torment Knicks Fans During Dwyane Wade's Farewell
LeBron James shared an NBA court for the last time with longtime buddy and former teammate Dwyane Wade last night. It was a fun and festive game that ended with Wade throwing up a crazy potential game-tying three and then hugging James right as the buzzer sounded. It also, briefly, left Knicks fans ...

The Mets Are Ready To Get Weird
It was, from the outside, a quiet day in Las Vegas for the second day of baseball’s winter meetings. Not much stirring; a chilly day in the desert. But inside? Oh, inside, that stove is red fucking hot....

Bulls Rudely Mocked For Jim Boylen's Practice Schedule Following Another Ugly Loss
Fresh off an air-clearing series of meetings having to do with interim head coach Jim Boylen being an overbearing dickweed, the lowly Bulls took the floor Monday night looking to reverse course after a historic beatdown. Their opponent, the Kings, is another team that was supposed to spend this seas...


Nationals Somehow Add New Layers Of Humiliation To Loss Of Bryce Harper
The Nationals have historically acquitted themselves far better in free agency than their fellow DC professional sports teams, at least two of whom are excruciatingly awful at signing players. But in their hurry to announce their franchise-altering failure to retain Bryce Harper, they appear to have...
![Ropes & Gray Nassar Investigation Paints Damning Picture Of USOC And USA Gymnastics [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/yt5dsz3kmac8v0i1swj0.jpg)
Ropes & Gray Nassar Investigation Paints Damning Picture Of USOC And USA Gymnastics [Update]
On Monday, the law firm Ropes & Gray released its 252-page report into the institutional failures that enabled Larry Nassar’s decades-long abuse of women and girls in his role of USA Gymnastics physician. The investigation, which was commissioned by the board of the USOC in February 2018—more than a...

Steph Curry Pulls Up From 238,900 Miles, Denies Moon Landing
Over the weekend, the Chang’e-4 spacecraft took flight from Sichaun province in China. It is bound for the far side of the Moon. The craft is expected to touch down early next month, becoming the first ever to “soft-land” on the far side. Where does Steph Curry think the craft is headed?...

Paul Konerko Has A Good Bad Idea For The Hall Of Fame
The baseball world is very bored right now, and so is in high dudgeon over the election to the Hall of Fame of Lee Smith (fine, whatever) and Harold Baines. Harold Baines! It’s alternately inexplicable (Harold Baines was good for a long time, but c’mon, he’s no Ryan Klesko) and completely explicable...

Frank Ntilikina Gave The Knicks A "Please Don't Trade Me" Game
Frank Ntilikina racked up three straight DNPs, even on this tanking team with no immediate ambitions. The Knicks are a buffalo carcass out in the plains, and trade whispers flitted around like flies. It was uncomfortably easy to envision the Knicks’ 2017 lottery pick, who is still a basketball inf...

The Bears' Trick Play Was A Work Of Beefy Genius
Last night’s game between the Rams and Bears, a 15-6 victory for Chicago, has everyone talking about the power of the Bears’ defense. And with good reason! When you go out there and throttle one of the best offenses in the league in the middle of a high-scoring era like this one, you deserve to be t...

Report: Obnoxious Hardman Jim Boylen Nearly Drove The Bulls To Mutiny In Less Than A Week
It’s been one week since the Bulls fired head coach Fred Hoiberg after a 5-19 start to the season. The team was handed over to assistant coach Jim Boylen, who was left with the task of jumpstarting a young and relatively talented but extremely listless squad. Here’s how that’s going so far: Boylen g...

Really? These Fuckin' Guys?
Relief pitcher Lee Smith and right fielder/DH Harold Baines were both elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame on Sunday night by the Today’s Game Era Committee. Its voters gave Smith its unanimous approval, while Baines just hit the 75 percent threshold with 12 out of 16 votes. (Lou Piniella fell just ...

Buzzkill Cowboys Get In The Way Of Eagles' Group Touchdown Celebration
In a game that will likely be used to begin sleep studies for decades to come, the Eagles waited until the second half to score their first points of the day. Carson Wentz connected with Alshon Jeffery for a two-yard touchdown throw just one play after Philly’s defense picked off Dak Prescott on the...

Mark Sanchez Did Not, In Fact, Know The Offense
Mark Sanchez was responsible for the first touchdown of the game between Washington and New York. Only problem was that it was a pick-six. On a second-and-11 on his team’s one-yard line late in the first quarter, Sanchez’s first pass of the drive was deflected at the line and taken to the house by C...