as Page 993 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Goddamn, Patrick Mahomes Looks Good
Hello, welcome to the Week 2 meeting of the Patrick Mahomes fan club. I know it’s early. But our boy is throwing bolts....
North Texas Genius Dupes Arkansas With Perfect Fake-Fair-Catch Punt Return
This happened in the first quarter in today’s North Texas-Arkansas game. Arkansas punter Blake Johnson launched a low and knuckling punt to the North Texas 10 yard line, where it was fielded cleanly by Keegan Brewer, whose body language following the catch was that of a man who had no intention of a...
Yasiel Puig Is Battering The Bejeezus Out Of The Vile Cardinals
Yasiel Puig smashed three huge dingers Saturday afternoon. The mightiest of these was a 423-foot solo blast in the fourth inning, but the most impressive might’ve been the three-run shot to left in the fifth that left the yard on a line at an impressive 114 miles per hour. Here are the dingers:...
Disease-Carrying Vermin Still A Little Too On-The-Nose As Coincidental Mets-Adjacent Phenomenon
The Red Sox, healthy, secure, surging toward the best season in franchise history, played with the toy skeleton of a rat in their dugout Friday night, mounting it on the dugout wall and putting seeds in its little mouth. Ha ha! The Mets, helpless, sick, crawling along in ignominy toward the conclusi...
Alexander Ovechkin Gains Vitality From Booze
The Capitals are mostly pretty chill about the perception that they perhaps partied too hard after winning the Stanley Cup, and the fact that their boozy celebrations inspired new rules about the way champions are allowed to handle the Cup. Anyway, that’s the gist of an ESPN report that depicts the ...
Sensitive Umpire Laz Diaz Turns Baseball Game Into Extended Temper Tantrum
Home plate umpire Laz Diaz lost his mind in the middle innings of Friday night’s Nationals-Braves game. In the bottom of the fifth inning, with the Braves at bat, Diaz jumped up and started screaming at Bryce Harper, who was stationed 150 feet away, in center field. Diaz was pissed at Harper for exp...
Knots Happen: Equipment Malfunction At Rhythmic Gymnastics World Championships
You ever watch rhythmic gymnasts and wonder how the ribbons that they twirl while executing complex leaps, turns, and tosses doesn’t get constantly tied up in knots like your charger/laptop/game console wires do in that corner of your apartment that you never ever clean because then you’d have to de...
Report: Joakim Noah And Knicks Will Be Liberated From One Another
The bitter feud between the New York Knicks and their most overpaid and underused player may be close to a resolution, per Shams Charania of The Athletic:...
It’s Been Two Years Since Rachael Denhollander Took Her “Shot In The Dark”<em></em>
When I wrote about the first anniversary of Rachael Denhollander coming forward in the Indianapolis Star about how Larry Nassar sexually abused her under the guise of medical treatment, I struggled with the headline. I generally do, but the story kicked up a bit of a debate over whether the headline...
Jerry Jones The Owner Might Want To Have A Word With Jerry Jones The GM
The hot new trend for NFL teams looking to establish and sustain success is to construct a deep roster around a young quarterback on a cost-controlled contract. The Eagles won last year’s Super Bowl doing this. The Rams, Bears, Chiefs, Buccaneers, and Titans are using the same blueprint this season....
Wisconsin's Quintez Cephus Will Stand Trial For Sexual Assault While Teammate Returns To The Field
Wisconsin wide receiver Quintez Cephus will stand trial for sexual assault while teammate and roommate Danny Davis will not face any charges. The charges stemmed from a criminal complaint filed in late August that stated Cephus sexually assaulted two women as Davis took photos....
The Red Sox Won Thanks To A Very Avoidable Error
The Red Sox wrapped up a three-game sweep of the Blue Jays last night in Fenway in a very silly way. With the game tied in the eighth, Xander Bogaerts reached base on a one-out double, then stole third. Blake Swihart then pinged a tiny pop-up into the shallow outfield, and he seemed pissed as he tro...
Anthony Rizzo Dealt With The Cubs' Insane Travel Schedule By Never Taking Off His Uniform
The Chicago Cubs caught a bad break in terms of travel this week. After Wednesday’s home loss to the Milwaukee Brewers, they had to jump on a plane and fly to Washington, D.C. to play a make-up game against the Nationals that had been rained out last weekend. That game ended at almost 8:00 p.m. loca...
Cop Who Joked About Arresting Sterling Brown On Facebook Has Been Fired
In June, Milwaukee Bucks player Sterling Brown filed a civil suit against the city of Milwaukee, Milwaukee Police Chief Alfonso Morales, and eight other MPD officers for the roles they played in Brown’s Jan. 26 arrest, during which he was tackled and tased by officers for no reason. That suit reveal...
LeBron James Shares Ass-Eating Opinion
Here’s a charming clip of LeBron James wearing shorts and opining on the ass-like texture of a kiwi on Ellen yesterday....
Erik Karlsson Is Finally Free
It comes about a half-season too late, but longtime Senators blue-line rock Erik Karlsson is finally getting the hell out of the ruins of Ottawa. He’s getting dealt to the Sharks for kids and draft picks, and he’ll play the final season of his contract in San Jose before hitting a lucrative payday i...
Brandon McCarthy Will Retire With The Nicest Stats In Baseball
Pitcher Brandon McCarthy, who has played for seven teams over 13 major-league seasons, said in August that this year with the Atlanta Braves would be his last. He will retire on a high note....
How The Shit Are The Oakland A's Still Doing This?
Back in July, when the Oakland Athletics won a million games, suddenly emerged as this year’s most surprising ballclub, and roared towards a wild card berth, it still seemed that they could go bust at any moment, thanks to an obvious Achilles heel. The starting rotation was so comically injured that...
Stephen Strasburg Plunked Three Guys With One Pitch
Efficiency is important for a starting pitcher, so give credit to Nationals right-hander Stephen Strasburg, who Wednesday night tagged hitter Jorge Alfaro, his own teammate Matt Wieters, and umpire Hunter Wendelstedt, all with one baseball....
A Frank Talk About Jacking It With Your Pals
The NFL: It’s for sure happening again, and it’s fine. It’s not ideal, a lot of it is really honestly pretty bad and shitty to watch, but it’s happening. There’s no way around the fact that it’s certainly happening. The games count, and that some of it at least is fine; the Browns and Steelers tied,...