at Page 2028 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Florida State's New Mascot Is Just The <em>Cutest</em>
Meet Cimarron, the new incarnation of a Florida State mascot that apparently existed once but which nobody remembers. FSU already has a mascot, of course, a Native American named Chief Osceola who attempts to set fire to football fields while riding his trusty mount Renegade. Turns out Osceola isn'...
Better Dirty Than Humbled: The Lights Go Down On The Bernard Hopkins Show
ATLANTIC CITY, N.J.—For years, Bernard Hopkins has entered the ring for each of his fights wearing a black balaclava, only his eyes visible, arms crossed overhead in an "X" to signify his nickname, "The Executioner." Outside the ring, he's a chatty bald man with a flattened nose and kindly eyes, now...
<i>Chicago Sun-Times</i> Columnist Joe Cowley Rides A Plane, Degrades Women Everywhere
Ever since Jay Marrioti fell off the face of the planet, the Chicago Sun-Times has been a little light in the abusive-toward-females department. This morning, Joe Cowley (pictured, far right) bravely stepped in to assume the role, in an albeit verbal, yet no less demeaning manner when he took on on...
David Wells Is Selling The Signed Babe Ruth Yankee Hat He Once Wore In A Game
David Wells says he's not in any financial trouble, he's just tired of keeping track of all the various bits of memorabilia he owns. Among the artifacts he's getting rid of is the signed Babe Ruth Yankee hat he wore in the first inning of a game on June 28, 1997 at the house his hat's previous owne...
Bryce Harper Has His First Major League Hit, Possibly Because Dodgers Fans Were Mooning Their Own Pitcher
Nationals rookie Bryce Harper doubled in his third MLB at-bat, giving him his first hit in the majors. More importantly, though, it happened as some fans behind home plate had their bare asses out and pointing toward the mound. Why? I don't know. Does it matter? No. [PRIME]...
Bryce Harper's First Major League At-Bat Was A Comebacker
He's clearly doomed to failure....
LeBron James Has Ushered In The NBA Playoffs Flop Era
While debate continues to rage in regard to whether Tyson Chandler's screen on LeBron James today really accounted for a flagrant foul, there's no doubt that LeBron augmented the impact with his own brand of thespianism. The incident set Jeff Van Gundy off on another rant about flopping, and is a ...
New Seattle Seahawk Bobby Wagner Was In The Shitter When He Was Drafted
In one of the more appropriate instances of places to find out you got drafted by the Seattle Seahawks, Utah State linebacker Bobby Wagner learned the news while he was in the bathroom. Wagner was interrupted, but full of joy nonetheless....
Tim McCarver Blames Global Warming For The Increase In Major League Home Runs
We'd normally save this sort of thing for McCarve'd Up (which will be back next week after being pre-empted for NFL draft coverage) but Tim McCarver said one of the stupidest things ever spoken on a television broadcast today, blaming global warming for "making the air thin" and thus leading to a...
Jeff Francoeur Gets 100th Assist Off Ryan "Doormat" Line Drive
We're not sure if someone has got it in for Ryan Doumit over at Yahoo, but as you can see, a typo (??) credits Jeff Francoeur with his 100th assist after doubling up Joe Mauer on "Ryan Doormat's liner to right-center."...
Saturday Open Thread Smorgasbord
The NBA Playoffs start now with the Sixers and Bulls. Baseball, as always, gets going at 1:00 p.m. as well. The Rangers and Capital start the second round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs at 3:00 p.m. and then we're off like gangbusters. Check in throughout the afternoon, talk about whatever and enjoy t...
Reports: Matt Leinart To Sign With Oakland Raiders
Look out Bay Area, here comes the party (and lifetime 57.6 completion percentage). Friend of the program, Matt Leinart is ready to move on from his backup role in Houston to a new backup role with the Oakland Raiders. According to Adam Schefter, Leinart will sign with the Raiders and immediately be...
Scott Hairston Hits For Cycle, Mets Get Clobbered
Scott Hairston did that cool and meaningless thing where a player gets all the different kinds of hits possible in one game. Sadly, it was not a "natural" cycle, an even more meaningless occurrence made remarkable by the order in which the hits are made. The Mets, on the other hand, did that uncool...
Russell Wilson's Wife Provides Us With Our Favorite Face Of The Draft
Seattle chose quarterback Russell Wilson in the third round of last night's NFL Draft, and his wife of three months was so excited she immediately began the metamorphosis to boa constrictor....
Mohamed Sanu Drafted By The Cincinnati Bengals, No Seriously—The Bengals Drafted Him Friday Night
The Rutgers wide receiver was projected to go in the second or third round, and after a prank call pump fake on day one, he actually did go in the third round to the team he thought picked him in the first round....
Northwestern Football Holds Dizzy Bat Race, With Bonus Hot Dog Eating
As is tradition, Northwestern wrapped up spring practice with a dizzy bat race. The rules are simple: spin around 10 times, sprint 10 yards, eat a hot dog, don't vomit. [via Dr. Saturday]...
Joe Posnanski's Book On Joe Paterno Will Be Finished Before The Sandusky Trial
Joe Posnanski didn't go to Happy Valley to write about the unhappy end of Joe Pateno's life and career. He intended it as an eternal Father's Day gift, a sappy and sentimental picture of the aging lion in repose. It was originally scheduled to be released in time for Father's Day, and Posnanski said...
The Most Unwanted Tickets Of The NBA Season Were In New Orleans
Now that the NBA's regular season is over, it's time to wrap-up our analysis of NBA tickets that had the least demand. Once again, we turned to Will Flaherty, the director of communications for SeatGeek, the online ticket search engine that compiles data from hundreds of resellers. This time, Flahe...
Fun With 69ing Failures
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Miami Heat Fan Refuses To High-Five Phoenix Suns Gorilla, Punches Him In The Face Instead
These are proving to be dangerous times for NBA mascots. Two weeks ago, Moondog of the Cleveland Cavaliers briefly went to the hospital after getting clocked in the eye by the Pacers' David West. And this week, the Phoenix Suns Gorilla found himself on the receiving end of some unwanted physical vio...