at Page 2131 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jurgen Klinsmann: America's Newest Soccer Jesus
Jurgen Klinsmann was introduced to the media this week as the new coach of the U.S. men's soccer team, a development in the making ever since the U.S. Soccer Federation batted eyelashes at Klinsmann before the 2006 World Cup. The coach spurned the USSF then, and instead led Germany to a third-place...

Rob Dibble Now Wants To Swaddle Stephen Strasburg In Warm Soft Blankets
A year ago at this time Rob Dibble was in the news for his contrarian opinions on Stephen Strasburg. Rob Dibble's in the news again for his contrarian opinions on Stephen Strasburg. Except this time it's the exact opposite contrarian opinion. What we're saying is, it's a good thing Strasburg's caree...

Novak Djokovic Performed A Goofy "Little Serbian Dance" With Jay Leno And Katie Holmes Last Night
This video of world No. 1 tennis player Novak Djokovic's appearance on Jay Leno's still-breathing program last night is nine minutes and 15 seconds long. Do yourself a favor: Skip the first seven minutes, to when he starts talking about the celebration that commenced among his team of fellow trave...

Video Of Michelle Beadle, Clay Matthews Strolling To ESPY Party Surfaces; She Still Denies Fucking Him
The video was taken by something called "PopCandies TV" and was sent to us by an anonymous tipster who suggests that it's enough evidence to prove that Beadle and Clay Matthews were somewhat super-friendly that enchanted evening, more so than she let on. It shows Beadle, Matthews and others stroll...

A Minor League Team Was Two Feet From Disaster
As the old saying ought to go, nothing good comes from taking a wrong turn to Staten Island....

You Still Get A Nudist Site At A Domain That Now Belongs To Arizona State
A court this week awarded Arizona State the rights to sundevils.com, but the site still redirects to diablosundevils.com, a NSFW nudist/naturist club site whose home page we have helpfully screen grabbed for you. The naturist club's site's owner has said he had nothing to do with the redirect, whic...

The Preventable Annual Tradition Of High School Football Deaths
It's that time of year again: when America's high schoolers start dropping dead during football practice. It's become so regular and so common that we can't do anything but shake our heads and move on, as if this is an acceptable rite of passage for youth football as a whole. But these are actual ki...

Ichiro's Doppelganger Tried To Sabotage The Mariners Last Night
Have we not yet learned our lesson, America? Is Bartman's ultimate cautionary tale still not enough? Let the players make their plays. Even if you happen to look eerily similar to one of them....

Rex Ryan Got That Awful Calf Tattoo Because He Believes In Himself
Well, this is a relief. It turns out that Rex Ryan is not any more on the verge of a mental breakdown than he usually is. In fact, he just really believes in himself. With all that belief, he probably has his own slew of business tats under that windbreaker! And for the record, this is one area in...

Braylon Edwards Has The Kind Of Résumé No Free Agent Wide Receiver Would Want
Former Jets and Browns wide receiver Braylon Edwards is a free agent. Edwards is 6' 3", spry, a leaper. He has 39 touchdowns in six seasons, which ties him for 23rd among active players. And he's one of the youngest in that bunch....

Colin Cowherd Predicts NFL Teams Will Go 268-244 This Year
Cowherd has the entire league 24 games over .500. Such optimism! It's what makes him the best. [ESPN Radio, via Dan Steinberg]...

You Made Stubby Clapp Angry
There are very few memorable players with just 25 career major league at-bats. And yet, we vividly remember Stubby Clapp from his brief 2001 stint with the Cardinals. What could it have been?...

Usage Note: "It's The Dallas Football Cowboys," Says Jason Stupid Garrett
We already flagged the absurdity of Dallas Cowboys coach Jason Garrett's announcement that this year's rookies will have to earn the right to wear the logo of a team that's hasn't won anything since those rookies were in the Pop Warner Tiny-Mite division. Go ahead, treat the Cowboy star as a rah-rah...

Will ESPN's Coverage Of Northwestern's Dan Persa Convince ESPN To Cover Dan Persa? ESPN Investigates
This is a story on ESPN.com about a Heisman marketing campaign launched by Northwestern on behalf of quarterback Dan Persa. The school has purchased billboard space not in Times Square but in Bristol, Conn., near ESPN headquarters. "Northwestern," writes ESPN's Adam Rittenberg on ESPN.com, "is hopin...

Today In Very American Ledes
"A Georgia Tech football fan has filed a lawsuit after she says she was strip searched over a chicken sandwich." [WSBTV, H/T Last Angry Fan]...

Ohio State Can't Find Their Hitler Tree
Don't you hate it when you misplace your Nazi Olympic souvenir? [NPR]...

Time To Get Unreasonably Angry About LeBron's Akron/Heat T-Shirt
LeBron James shared this photo with the world on his Twitter feed today, and it might just be the perfect LeBron James offense: it is, first of all, coupled with a feel-good story about kids raising money for his foundation with a lemonade stand in New Canaan, Conn., and it is not really an offense ...

Rex Ryan's New Calf Tattoo Is Really Awful
"Converse sneaks. Check. New tattoo. Check. Rex is ready for camp," Jets EVP Matt Higgins tweeted this morning....

Ron Artest Is Still A Little Confused About Why Deadspin Was Calling His Phone
Here's what he told the LA Times: ""You know what man, it was kind of crazy," Artest said. "People are trying to pull not even pranks, but try to stir something up that doesn't make any sense. It really doesn't make any sense. People call you and then pull pranks. I never shied away from the media. ...

Terrible Defensive Shortstop Miguel Tejada Is Angry At San Francisco Media For Writing About His Terrible Defense
So the Giants acquired Proven October Shortstop™ Orlando Cabrera from Cleveland yesterday, because their GM, Brian Sabean, is a veteran-loving fool who doesn't have eyes, apparently....