at Page 2253 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tebow Draft Rationalization Watch: Pittsburgh Needs A Leader
As the NFL Draft approaches, many team fanbases will attempt complex logical gymnastics to talk themselves into using a first-round pick on Florida quarterback Tim Tebow. Today: The Steelers try to solve their current quarterback's character issues....

Brazilian Indoor Soccer Player Dies In Just About The Most Horrific Fashion Imaginable
A 23-year old Brazilian indoor soccer player, Robson Rocha Costa, died Sunday after sustaining injuries in a match. A piece of floor plank pierced his thigh and went into his intestine....

RSS Readers Will Not Get To See Where This Telestrator Vagina Came From
Yes, yes — I know. Those of you reading this on RSS will probably only get a portion of this message and it will leave you wondering, "Hey, what the crap happened to the full Deadspin feed, those greedy basta..."...

Stephen Strasburg Performs Miracle Of Turning 27 Pitches Into Six Outs
Baseball Jesus Stephen Strasburg debuted today against the Tigers and pitched two scoreless innings. He gave up back-to-back two-out singles in the second, finished with a strikeout, and transubstantiated into Miguel Batista. [ESPN]...

Papists Ruining Serie A: Blasphemy Now Suspendable Offense
Chievo coach Domenico Di Carlo has been suspended for this Sunday's match against Bari for taking God's name in vain. Next week: Luca Toni raps your knuckles with a ruler for goofing off during prayer time. [Goal]...

A Real, Honest-To-Goodness NBA Rivalry? Awesome.
Matt Barnes was in Kobe's face all game long (and occasionally, quite literally). Lamar Odom called Barnes "a monkey." It makes for a possible finals matchup not involving Kobe and LeBron that, dare I say it, would be anticipated....

Joe Buck, Wife Decide To Spend A Little Quality Time Apart
Fox's everywhere sportscaster Joe Buck and his wife of more than 15 years, Ann, have decided to "take a break", according to his mother, Carole Buck, who spoke to reporter Jerry Berger....

Academy Awards To Honor Sandra Bullock And Matt Damon For Ending Racism
Tonight's Academy Awards promise to be a delightful several hours of programming. Following in the tradition of classic cinema like Rocky, Chariots of Fire, and The Sixth Man, sports movies are once again strong contenders for major awards....

Taiwanese CGI Geniuses Present: Ole Miss-Admiral Ackbar
The Nancy Grace Rule's reign of terror is over. The new cool way to measure a story's scope is Taiwanese CGI. Their reenactments of Tiger-Gate and the Late Night Wars were amazing but Admiral Ackbar-Ole Miss may be their masterpiece....

TRAPPED IN A CAGE! Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go. But first, an announcement....

Civic-Minded Wrestler Of The Week: Tiger Jeet Singh
There's a minor controversy brewing in Ontario, where trustees have voted to name a public school after longtime wrestler Tiger Jeet Singh. Why all the fuss? It's not like he attacked audience members with his sword that many times....

Cincinnati Reds: The Looming Tower
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Cincinnati Reds....

Joe Mauer's Imaginary Contract Has A Lot Of "I"s To Dot
Remember when Joe Mauer "agreed" to that 10-year contract over a month ago? Well, Mauer's agent plans to discuss the matter with Twins management very soon. Maybe. They're very close! (Yeah, they're not close.) [SN/Star-Tribune/NYT]...

Monster Dutch Reliever Hopes To Terrorize Twin Cities
The Twins have high hopes for Loek van Mil, a 7-foot-1 prospect from the Netherlands. Because betting on the freakishly tall foreigner has always worked out in other sports. [Pioneer Press]...

Beat Writer Continues Nationals Coverage, Sans Newspaper
Just because the Washington Times fired their entire sports section, Mark Zuckerman isn't going to stop doing his job. For someone to cover the Nationals voluntarily, I'm not sure it's going too far to call him a modern day Jesus....

Canada <em>Still</em> Hung Up On That Hockey Game, Apparently
A video package of Canadian Olympic highlights, culminating in Sidney Crosby's goal, played during the Star-Spangled Banner at last night's Sens-Rangers game. Ottawa says it was a malfunction and apologized, but we've gone to war over less. [NY Post]...

Poll: 100% Of Tiger Woods Pollsters Hate Their Lives
An ABCNews/ESPN poll found that 54% of (1,000) Americans believe that Tiger Woods was sincere when he gave his sex apology, but only 5% of those people could believe that someone is actually conducting polling about Tiger Woods. [pic]...

Clippers Add To Their Distinguished Record Of Racial Sensitivity
I have no idea what's going on in this press release, except that the Steven Esparza in question is a media services assistant with the team, and that the Clippers are an abomination of a franchise. [NBA.com, via @HoopsHype]...

There's A Reason They Go South For Spring Training
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

We Could Prevent Another Hank Gathers. Here's Why We Don't.
Nearing the 20th anniversary of Hank Gathers's death, it's fashionable to look back. But let's look forward. It's possible to save so many athletes from dying young, but it might not be worth the costs....