at Page 2281 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
News From Lake Wobegon Mattoon (UPDATE)
It's been an uneventful week in Mattoon, Ill., where the women are robust, the men are pink-cheeked, and the girls start powder puff football brawls that spill over into the crowd....
Documentary Won't Bring Back Sonics, But It Might Make Seattle Cry
Three NBA fans from Seattle have created a documentary about the theft of their beloved Supersonics and put it online for free, because even though you know it accomplishes nothing, sometimes you just have to wail at the sky....
Queering In The Press Box
Michael Silver: "By midway through the third quarter ... I was ready to take the Atlanta Falcons quarterback up to Gavin Newsom's box on the west side of the stadium and ask the San Francisco mayor to marry us." [Yahoo!]...
Binghamton Basketball Program Not Getting Any Better
After coach Kevin Broadus admitted to violating NCAA contact rules, the school banned him from off-campus recruiting. On-campus recruiting is limited watching frat pledges play NBA Live on their Xboxes. [ESPN]...
Fire Up The Self-Pity Machine, IT’S BLACK SUNDAY!
And so it was that, come Monday morning, the denizens of New England awoke to a world covered in thick, black ash. A world that knew neither hope nor joy, but only self-involved douchiness....
When It's 8 A.M. And You Look Like This, You Might Be Close To Death
Football season is upon us, which means that thousands of angry, horny, feisty pretend fans will converge upon this great nation's red cup-littered parking lots to participate in traditional tailgating revelry. These are not those stories...
Josh McDaniels Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Josh McDaniels, who won the weekend by proving that he's not a foolishly incompetent man-child. Yes, the bar was set pretty low....
Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Touching The Hem Of His Garment Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....
Someone Just Blew This Guy's Mind
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
When The Bands Are More Competitive Than The Football Teams
The epic Grambling State and Prairie View rivalry was taken to absurd new heights last week, as each team's marching band attempted to disrupt the other team's offense. Seriously, this is the most exciting story on SWAC football in years....
Oakland Should Be Prosecuted For Crimes Against Humanity
I know it's cruel to keep featuring the Raiders today, but it was cruel of CBS to put them on my television. And really, holy crap, JaMarcus....
Phil Cuzzi's Career Trajectory Not Exactly A String Of Successes
Phil Cuzzi was once fired as a minor league umpire, and later appealed to the league president while tending bar at a New Jersey hotel. Twins fans could still use a stiff drink. [Augusta Chronicle, via FanHouse]...
Pitches, Man, Pitches
Looking toward a deep playoff run, the Yankees are trying to get their ducks in a row. That means telling the wives and girlfriends to stop being mean to Kate Hudson....
Um, No.
They've fixed it now, but for a few hours last night the LA Times web people got Corey Perry and Braydon Coburn mixed up with a race horse and her jockey. Happens all the time. [LA Times]...
Tim Tebow Lives!
His headache is gone so the big guy will likely play tonight against LSU. Will he start or arrive by parachute in the fourth quarter for added chills? [Times-Union]...
Bad Beats: Do Not Bet This Man
A weekly look at smart plays, oddball propositions and all your tales of gambling woe....
Run For Your Life At The Baltimore Marathon!
Today's Baltimore Marathon route passed with one block of 13 different crime scenes where city residents were murdered in 2009. Alphonce Yatich from Kenya and Iulia Arkhipova from Kyrgyzstan were the only survivors. [Baltimore Sun via Bob's Blitz]...
Does This Look Foul To You?
Good thing that Major League Baseball adds two extra umpires to cover those close plays down the line in the playoffs. That way no one will have any grounds to complain that a bad call completely ruined their season....
Was This A Missed Field Goal?
Cleveland Browns defensive coordinator Rob Ryan is making a big, passive-aggressive stink about the 31-yard kick you see here, the Bengals' game-winner over the Browns on Sunday. Alleged game-winner....