at Page 2285 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Hockey Player Joins Team He Was Born To Play For
This is Wheaton King of....the Brandon Wheat Kings. The story: Dad (presumably) names son after local minor league hockey team, kid grows up to play for said hockey team, heads explode. [TheScore]...

Baseball And Steroids: Corporate Synergy!
The company that owns the Braves is selling steroids over the Internet. That's what we in the business call "centralized distribution." [AJC]...

Is Our Children Learning (To Hate The Red Sox)?
All this talk about Obama's school speech and the indoctrination of students is ignoring the real dark power behind our educational system: Boston fans. Could one be in your child's school?...

Oh Great, Even Less Scoring In Soccer
Of the many ways to cheat at professional sports, the simplest are sometimes the most effective. Like, say, a keeper making his goal smaller. Oh, soccer, this whole taking-you-seriously thing isn't going to work out....

Respiratory Illness Will Not Slow Tim Tebow
In case Florida fails to crush another mediocre SEC opponent tonight, Urban Meyer can safely recycle his flu excuse. Sickness has ravaged the Gators, including Tim Tebow, who flew to Lexington on a separate plane last night. [Dr. Saturday]...

Send Us Your Bitter Tales Of Defeat
If Drew's mailbag has taught us anything, it's that gambling stories usually end badly. In that spirit, we'd like to hear your worst....

Big Ten Network Undeterred By Gimpy Sideline Pony
Charissa Thompson, sideline reporter for the Big Ten Network, broke her ankle doing step aerobics and will wear a cast. She's not DL'd yet, so keep her in your lineup. This is officially the slowest news day in history....

Out Of Rehab, Michael Beasley Says He's Supercool Once More
Beasley just finished up a monthlong stint at a substance-abuse center in Houston and announced that he had moved on from weed, Twitter and adolescence in general. Whether any of those things actually constituted a problem, however, is still unclear....

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Turner Field
This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: The Atlanta Braves' Turner Field. Photo by Charlie Morn....

And Now, Your Official Plaxico Burress Mug Shot
Plax, in his New York State Department of Correctional Services mug shot. Curiously, he seems to have grown an inch since his playing days. Prison's already made him a bigger man. [The Smoking Gun]...

Mark Schlereth Is Awful And Needs To Be Liquidated
There are baffling success stories in this world. There always have been. But one of the most puzzling ones is how Mark goddamn Schlereth has somehow become the most omnipresent football analyst on ESPN....

Your <em>Sporting News</em> College Football Athlete Of The Decade Is ... Matt Leinart?
Yup, Leinart's the best. He even managed to beat out past and future NFL failures Chris Weinke, Eric Crouch, Jason White, Alex Smith and Tim Tebow for the honor. [Sporting News]...

Never One To Seek The Spotlight, Danica Turns Down NASCAR
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Has Mark Whicker Taught Us Nothing?
"The nightmare of 9/11 will live forever in our minds and memories."...Yes, this is how a high school football game story begins....

Why Your Empty Stadium Sucks
This is what professional baseball in Pittsburgh looks like in late September when the Pirates are some 30 games back and 3-22 over their last 25, and the Cincinnati Reds and a bunch of world leaders are in town....

Deadspin I-Team: The Case Of Plaxico Burress' Sweat Pants
Plaxico Burress's saga has now reached its sad dénouement, with the former Giant matriculating into the New York penal system. One loose end remains, however: the matter of the sweat pants he wasn't wearing. Who's responsible for the sweat-pants misinformation?...

Book Excerpts That Don't Suck: <em>The Machine</em>
Today, we have a selection from Deadspin favorite Joe Posnanski's The Machine, a rollicking account of the 1975 Reds. Buy the book here. Read his blog here. Joe's in the comments now, awaiting your demeaning questions....

If You Were Worried Kimbo Slice Wouldn't Have Anyone To Beat Up, Relax
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

You Will Physically Flinch While Reading This Story
See those four things over on the left? Those are fasteners. They should be clamped on to dumbbell bars, and not your penis. One poor soul missed that memo....
