at Page 2310 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Troy Aikman Soon To Be Disappointed By What Real World Has To Offer
The former Cowboys/UCLA quarterback marched with the Bruins during their graduation ceremony yesterday. It took 21 years, but Aikman finally has a Sociology degree, which makes him qualified to wait tables anywhere in America. [ESPN/JerseyChaser]...

Exit Music For An Acta
SI.com reports Manny Acta's time managing the Washington Natinals will be over soon. President Stan Kasten won't confirm or deny that report, only saying that he's "perplexed" by the abysmal 16-43 record, which probably means he's done....

Team Iraq Will Be Your Soccer Darling Tomorrow
There's some type of non-American football tournament commencing in South Africa tomorrow as an appetizer to the World Cup. And, look, there's Iraq. Wave to them!...

Awesome Boyfriend Ties Kids Up In Garage So He Can Enjoy The Game In Peace
Dilemma: You want to see the big game, but your girlfriend wants you to babysit. You could listen to the game on radio—or you could tie the kids up, leave them in the garage, and hit the bar....

Falcons Officially Release Michael Vick
I don't understand. Did he do something wrong? [ESPN]...

Joe Buck Will Slay You
You guys getting pumped for HBO's Joe Buck Dry Humor And Sporting Chit-Chat Hour? No? How about if I told you the topic of the first show? "Celebrities in Sports — Fans blur the line between celebrities and atheletes." Sic!...

A Lesson In How Not To Spin, Courtesy Of The Florida Gators
Twenty-four Florida Gators have been arrested since 2005, a number of such apparent talismanic significance that the Orlando Sentinel decided to publish a "database." The school, understandably peeved, responded with a master class in how not to respond....

Nicklas Lidstrom's Busted Ballsack And Other Tales Of NHL Woe
If Detroit captain Nicklas Lidstrom looked a little sluggish at times during this Stanley Cup Finals, he has a very, very, very good excuse. He suffered a "nearly catastrophic" testicle injury in the Conference Finals. Now how do you feel?...

Now Batting Cleanup For Your Atlanta Braves: Barbaro
He is risen. Barbaro Canizares is his name. The Braves just called him up from Triple-A Gwinnett, and he's hitting behind Chipper Jones at this very moment. At the plate, he is, by all accounts, a stud....

ESPN The Magazine Takes The Swimsuit Issue To A Nuder Level
For its Oct. 19 issue, it's "approaching athletes about posing au naturel, albeit artfully covered or positioned. [Editor-in-chief Gary Belsky] adds the question is whether he can pull off the risqué issue without coming off as a 'laddie' magazine." [USAT]...

Usain Bolt Shows Off His Most Treasured Keepsake From Beijing
The world's fastest man arrived in Canada wearing a T-shirt with ancient Chinese letters spelling out a thoroughly modern message. I don't think they draped that around his neck on the Olympic podium. [Fotoglif via Splash News]...

Alabama Football Forced To Give Up Wins
Alabama's football program will be placed on probation today and be forced to vacate at least 10 (and as many as 21) wins from the 2005-07 season. That ... hurts?...

Tim Donaghy Has Not Been Enjoying Prison (UPDATED)
Disgraced referee Tim Donaghy will be released from prison next week and not a moment too soon. A press release says that while in the slammer he nearly had his legs broken by a New York mobster. (Update below.)...

If The Nationals Lose But No One Is Around To See It, Do They Still Lose?
Nationals Park looked slightly emptier than usual last night, with less than 100 fans sticking around to weather a two-hour ninth inning rain delay. But boy, did they get a good fireworks show afterward — oh, wait. [Washington Post]...

The Washington Huskies Revival Will Be Led By Joe Montana's Son
Tough call for Nick Montana: Charlie Weis' Notre Dame or winless Washington? Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, catch a Huskie by the toe, my father told me to pick the best one and that is Y-O-U-W. [Seattle Times]...

America's Verdict On Bud Selig's Draft Performance: "Boring LOL"
Poor Bud Selig can't walk in front of a camera without inspiring a visceral sort of loathing among, well, everyone. Case in point: last night, the baseball amateur draft's primetime debut....

Tigers Draft What's Left Of Austin Wood
With the 150th pick, Detroit selects Austin Wood, the kid who threw 169 pitches in an NCAA regional. He will be optioned immediately to Dr. James Andrews' waiting room. [MLB.com]...

He Said, She Said With Sherrie And John Daly
John Daly has suddenly reformed into golf's good guy, says his maybe-soon-to-be-restrained wife, and she's not going to stand for it. Also, she "would like you to know that she did not stab her husband." Duly noted. [Commercial Appeal]...

Dan Le Batard Vs. Bill Simmons, Coming To Your Neighborhood PTI
This week's Deadcast guest is Dan Le Batard, who brings news that Bill Simmons will be making his guest host debut on "Pardon The Interruption" sometime this summer. Get that Larry Bird head-on-a-stick ready....

Reebok Gives Shoe Contracts First, Asks Questions Later
Reebok belatedly discovers that they gave a shoe contract to a white guy with an "Air Jordan" tattoo on his leg. To be fair, it was Marcin Gortat, and no one wanted to look that closely. [Skeets]...