at Page 2315 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Savior Of Baltimore, Fantasy Teams Everywhere To Debut Friday
Matt Wieters, who is evidently a real player and not just some sad phantom haunting Yahoo fantasy rosters, will make his major league debut for Baltimore on Friday against the Tigers. "It's time," said Orioles president of baseball operations Andy MacPhail. Adjust your rosters accordingly. [Baltimor...
'Whole Lot Of People Puckered Up' After Florida Steroid Bust, Says Comical Backwoods Sheriff
What happens when you mix steroid hysteria with two self-aggrandizing backwoods halfwits on either side of the law? This: "What investigators aren't sure of is whether Richard Thomas, 35, is telling the truth when he said ... he sold mostly to professional athletes," specifically those on the Capita...
Tim Tebow Turns Away Hotter Stuff Than You Can Dream Of
Percy Harvin, presented without comment: "If I could trade places for a day with anyone: Tim Tebow....We saw all kind of actors and news reporters just kind of blatantly say, "Tebow, I want you." And he turned them down. I'm looking at him, like, "Man, you are crazy." [Pioneer Press]...
What's A Little Theft And Fraud Between Teammates?
Anthone Lott is a Florida Gator through and through. He's so devoted to his alma mater and his former championship teammates that when he wants to swindle someone in a crooked construction deal, only fellow Gator cornerbacks will do for marks....
The Evil Umpire: Who Once Called Pitches For Randy Johnson?
Tom Verducci wrote up Randy Johnson in last week's Sports Illustrated and included this odd — and oddly unnoticed — anecdote:...
A Stroll Through The Infield At Indy
In Detroit, I lost a rental car for six hours. In Miami, I left all of my clothes in the hotel dresser. Since I was bringing a "photographer" to the Indy 500, there would be little chance of me leaving something behind. Unfortunately, he lost his camera....
The Nationals Are A Memorial To Failure
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
The Sports Fella's Dream Is Dead
Minnesota picks ex-Pacers GM David Kahn to run their basketball operations. "I promise that nobody will outwork or outthink us as we build one of the best front offices in the league and a team that begins a climb to the top." They should put that on a plaque. [NBA.com]...
Here's A Revolutionary Idea
It's the end of May, which means it's time for people to start talking about the absurdity of aluminum bats again. Instead of simply reverting to wood bats, more and more amateur players are shifting to the other end of the spectrum, and without repercussions....
Forget Everything You've Ever Known About Eating Competitions
Introducing the Doughman quadrathalon relay: Crab and bacon mac and cheese; fried green tomato sandwich; bacon cheeseburger with chili; candied bacon, strawberry shortcake, chocolate cupcakes. Plus, biking, running and swimming. Don't forget to wear your helmets, and vomiting is "strictly discourage...
Don't Call It A Comeback
He's baaaaacck. Dan Le Batard returned from his year-long sabbatical today, and if this profile of Jim Leyritz is any indication, his mind is sufficiently cleared. It's long, poignant and about Jim Leyritz, but still, take out a few minutes to read it. You're not doing anything better. [Miami Herald...
"No Clowns Allowed Beyond This Point"
The new Yankee Stadium security measures are terribly draconian — unless, of course, you're Chris Berman, the newly appointed ringleader of the circus....
You Say Horto Magico, Nick Calathes Says Show Me The Money
Sources say Florida point guard Nick Calathes will sign a $1.1 million deal — including a home, car and tax credits — with Panathinaikos in Greece, where Calathes holds dual citizenship. Panathinaikos, you say? Yep, that one. How could you forget? [Orlando Sentinel]...
Monday's Lax Final Set, No One Outside Upstate New York Notices
Syracuse slams Duke in the Greg Paulus Bowl, Cornell shocks — shocks! — No. 1 Virginia in the nightcap. There really is nothing going on today. Softball on ESPN, lacrosse on ESPN2, Bernie Williams playing jazz on YES. Plus, Daulerio's making a packing list and checking it twice. [ESPN]...
You Want To See Explosive, NBA Fans?
Ah, European hooligans — always good for a riot in Game 1 of the finals. But none of this is too surprising, considering Panathinaikos' fight song, Horto Magico, is a stoner jam, except more hardcore:...
Patriots Team Up With State Lotto; NFL Conveniently Forgets That It Pretends To Hate Gambling
Remember the NFL's feigned outrage over sports gambling in Delaware? All that sanctimonious stuff about tarnishing the game's image and leading children to degenerate lives of laying the points with the Pats on the road? Well, apparently none of that applies to state-run lotteries....
Inside Edition Shocked To Find Drunk People At Baseball Game
In Milwaukee, of all places! "Fights break out inside the stadium, foul language can be heard in the stands, and there are obscene gestures everywhere," reports America's Newsmagazine. [Inside Edition]...
Obama's Two Favorite Things Are The Steelers, Making Children Cry
A group of kindergarteners had their hearts broken yesterday when they showed up for a White House tour and were told they couldn't come in because staff had to prepare for the President's visit with the Pittsburgh Steelers. Also, because the tears of the innocent give Barack Obama sustenance....
Yuk It Up, Stoners. The Olympics Torch Looks Like A Doob.
At left is the official torch of the 2010 Vancouver Olympics, and, yes, I realize it looks like someone rolled up half of Humboldt County in the world's biggest Zig Zag....