at Page 2357 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you look for your teeth after getting run over by a bullet train ......

"Operation Shutdown" (Still) Proceeding As Planned
Former Blue Jay/Padre/Astro/Met/Pirate Derek Bell was arrested last night in his hometown of Tampa and charged with four counts of possession of drug paraphernalia. It was his second drug-related arrest in three years and I haven't read a lot of statements we've read that are sadder than "Arrest rec...

SI's Dr. Z Recovering After Two Strokes
This is sad news from the sports media world. Paul Zimmerman, the grouchy football columnist better known as Dr. Z, suffered two strokes in late November and is currently on a leave of absence while he recovers. He'll survive, but how it'll affect the rest of his writing career is still undetermined...

Shatner's Short-Term Red Sox Memory, Sabathia And Manny Head Arbitration List, And Everyone Wants To Buy The Cubs
• He's Also Not Very Good At Fractions. Come with us now as William Shatner is tested for Alzheimer's on an episode of Boston Legal. He does great when asked about the 1967 Red Sox, but he's a little confused at the question "Who is the best Red Sox pitcher this season?" To which he answers, "Josh P...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you find an excuse to drink alcohol for breakfast ......

It'll Only Seem Like An Eternity
I know that you'll probably lose the deposit, but some of you Red Sox fans may want to ditch your previous choice for your eternal resting place and go with this, the Red Sox Casket offered at Rockland Funeral Home. Spend eternity in the loving embrace of the Sox, which is more than Manny ever did. ...

"Wonderful Boyfriend" Makes Up Other Half Of Iowa Bathroom Sex Team
A thought occurred to me this weekend—we all know the face and identity of the the um ... "unfortunate" woman who got it on with a complete stranger in a Metrodome bathroom while her husband sat in the seats not wondering what was taking so long. (It helps that she's now given two interviews to loca...

When I Think Of Alluring Fragrances, I Think Of College Football
Looking for perfume for your sweetie for Christmas? Then you'll want to spring for the best, and what woman wouldn't want to go out on the town smelling like a Rose Bowl-eligible football team? Introducing Penn State fragrances for men and women. Ahh, smells like victory. Or Joe Patero's loafers....

Boom Goes The Dynamite, As They Say
The Deadspin Morning Video Wake Up Call will return for a brief period of time through the holidays. If you have any suggested videos to fill this space, email us. Subject: Morning Video Wake Up Call....

Someone Get Cutler A Crossing Guard Vest and Tourist Map, Stat!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe Rich Gannon said that Jay Cutler has never been to New York before today. Really? A millionaire, star NFL quarterback, and he's never been to New York? Seems odd, but I looked back at the Broncos' schedule, and they haven't visited the Giants or Jets since Cutl...

To Watch Tonight: Just You and Me Now, Sport
What to watch while taking the Plaxico Burress gun safety lesson from an Ohio police chief... • College Basketball: UNC-Asheville at North Carolina (6:30 pm ET) [FSN] - In the immortal words of Bugs Bunny, was this trip really necessary? • News: "60 Minutes" (7:00ish pm ET) [CBS] - Michael Phelps wi...

FSU Fan Could Be Charged With Being Cranky, Missing Bedtime
Now this is no home-field advantage oncesoever: when a stray Florida Gators fan broke out the car keys to make noise in the face of an FSU Seminoles (and when the hell did this start? And do Cameron Crazies linger over the BMW keychain as they shake them at UNC fans?) in Tallahassee yesterday, the S...

The Cold November Rain
Chances are the weather sucks where you live right now. Rain, sleet or snow was a factor in five of the 1:00 games, and it's currently coming down hard in New England and New York. It also all but extinguished the playoff hopes of the Bills, Packers, Saints and maybe even the Redskins. Tampa Bay and...

Does Anyone Want to Switch Seats?
Romeo Crennel may not have a choice once this season's over, as his seat gets hotter and hotter each week. Despite the fact that Indy defenders were dropping like flies in this one, Derek Anderson couldn't get anything going for the Browns. His fumble in the 3rd, which the Colts returned for a touch...

A Mighty Wind is Blowing
It's apparently rainy and windy in the Bay, but as commentor "business socks" tells us, that hasn't dampened the spirits of the Buccaneers' cheerleaders. They'll need to step it up, though, as the Bucs are currently down 10-6 to the Saints in the third. Players rely on the cheerleaders for motivatio...

His Favourite Room? The Infirmary
This is apparently a shot of Plaxico Burress's place in Totowa, New Jersey. I'm going to venture a guess to say he won't be using the upstairs part of it for a little while. So it's your move, squatters. But if the small area his current physical limitations have him confined to has a television set...

Your Plaxico Burress Self-Inflicted Gunshot Wound Update
So a few more details seem to be emerging about the bizarre "Plaxico shot himself at a club" story. The New York Post is now reporting that the incident took place just after midnight on Friday at a club called Latin Quarter in Manhattan, while Plax was out on the town with teammate Antonio Pierce. ...

To Watch Tonight: Woo! Alright! We're Being Invaded!
What to watch while creating your Christmas ornaments out of reindeer poo... • College Football: Kentucky at Tennessee (6:30 pm ET) [ESPN2] - If you lash these two rosters together, you might get one decent Top 25 squad. We won't comment on whether this would be true of the two states. • College Foo...

Welcome To Black Friday, America's Own Running Of The Bulls
Some of you are not old enough to remember the Cabbage Patch Riots of 1983, a dark time in our history when lawlessness ruled; where roving gangs of middle-aged women in housecoats would beat you senseless for a children's doll. Above is one of my favorite videos of all time, in which, at about the ...

College Football Preview: In-State Rivalries Take Center Stage
Texas beat Texas A&M 49-9 yesterday. They're now 11-1. But unless you were in Texas you had no idea this game was happening. Even I didn't think to check this score until late Thursday night. That's because I spent Thanksgiving with family. Included in part of my day was a trip to Ford Field to wat...