at Page 2382 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

To Watch Tonight
What to watch on the subway ... • MLB: Brewers at Cardinals. (7 p.m., ET). Ray Durham acquisition tips the balance of power. [ESPN] • MLB: Rangers at White Sox. (8:11 p.m., ET). I'll meet you in front of the Harold Baines statue. [KDFI] [WCIU] • Cycling: Tour de France (8 p.m., ET). This is a rest d...

Value of Euro vs. Dollar Impacting NBA Signings?
In the latest sign of American hoops hegemony showing some weakness, fivetooltool points out that several NBA players are returning to Europe because they can get better contracts there. Why? Partially because of the increasing value of the euro relative to the dollar....

Jeremy Shockey Breaks Through New Orleans Douche Levee
This is Jeremy Shockey. You might remember Jeremy from the time you drafted him two rounds too high in your fantasy draft because a) He played in New York, and b) You're subconsciously just a bit racist. Jeremy, seen here trying to convince a woman to go home with him so he can give her Hepatitis ...

Is Mary Beth King Being Phased Out Of Monday Morning Quarterback?
Congratulations to Mary Beth King, daughter or Peter King, target of KSK's ire, on her new internship.(This photo is not of King and his daughter — I hope.) Of course, PK writes about this internship in today's Monday Morning Quarterback column and her position may create another moral quandary for ...

South Carolina Cockominiums Headed to Auction
Do you see what they've done there? They've combined condominium and cock. Which usually only happens on South Beach. Anyway, the condo craze came to Columbia, South Carolina and condo towers went up around the wasteland that is Williams-Brice Stadium. But it seems the real estate market is not as r...

Fear Factor In The Northwoods League
A collegiate summer baseball league team called the Madison Mallards was handing out free tickets on Thursday that included all-you-can-eat snack bar privileges; a pretty sweet deal, considering all you had to do to earn it was to eat a dead beetle. The Mallards offered the tickets to the first 250 ...

Carson Palmer Despises Ohio State, Jim Tressel, and Their Fans
It's a good thing Ohio State fans are so worldly and forgiving. Because otherwise Carson could be in some hot water. Evidently Palmer, a noted USC and Pac-10 homer, went on Los Angeles sports talk radio and brought the thunder....

Pirates' Pitcher Gets Erotic Massage, But Rockies Get The Happy Ending
One might say that the Pirates tried everything to make rookie Yoslan Herrera feel comfortable on the mound on Saturday in his debut against the Rockies. Some days, nothing works. Of course, this could simply be Bud Selig's random cup check policy we've been hearing about....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while actually making plans on weekends from here on out... • 6:00 p.m. — MLB: Boston Red Sox at Los Angeles Angels. Tim Wakefield, it's up to you to prevent your team from getting swept. [whoosh, crack] Really? That's your plan? [ESPN] • 7:30 p.m. — Movie: Ghostbusters. We came, we sa...

Video Of Milka Duno Towel-Snapping Danica Patrick, After 60 Long Minutes, Finally Surfaces
I was ready to move on from this particular story thinking there was no footage of this argument, and eventually concluding it was a lame altercation to begin with. But as the FanIQ headline says, "It's Just as Awesome as We Thought." Crystal clear audio. A towel snap. And a predominantly male pit ...

Mid-Ohio Endures IRL Cat Fight Epidemic
If the concept of Ohio depresses you, at least the cities of Cleveland, Cincinnati, Youngstown, and Toledo all lie on or near the state border, opening up hopes and promises of other states. But Mid-Ohio? That's a lot of driving to exit the state, and driving in rural Ohio is a good way to lose one'...

I'd Kill For Rusty Wallace's Race-Worn Underpants
Attempted murder: It's not just for metaphors anymore! A man hired a hitman to murder a witness in his upcoming trial and was going to pay him off with his NASCAR collectibles. Suffice to say, it didn't work....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while rescuing fake babies... • 7:00 p.m. — MLB: Royals at White Sox. If the Royals can get on some kind of winning streak, maybe they can sneak into the NL West and contend for a playoff spot. [WGN] • 8:00 p.m. — Movie: Open Range. The thrilling story of a lawless part of frontier-lan...

Fake Exclusive: Will Leitch Wants To Unretire From Deadspin
He holds sports blogging's most heralded records for posts, pageviews, and consecutive days blogged. He also holds the dubious record for most HTML tags left open. Will Leitch stepped down as Deadspin editor last month. But now he's making headlines as he's hinting toward returning to the sports blo...

But There's Already An Oklahoma Thunder
It's not much of a surprise to Oklahomans that some derivative of Thunder was going to be the newly relocated Seattle SuperSonics team name, be it Thunderbirds, Thundercats, Thunderpants, or the Fighting Dan Majerles. But it looks like they're just going to go with Thunder. The Oklahoma City Thunder...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after installing this in your backyard ......

Essay Contest: Win a Date With LPGA Golfer Natalie Gulbis
Tme to sharpen those #2 pencils. The subject of the essay contest is "Who's Behind Your Success?" To be fair the contest actually specifies that you win a day with Natalie Gulbis and not a date. But that day is in Las Vegas. So have at it. Essays must be in by midnight on August 4. I suggest this op...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after a tough day in court fighting Wal-Mart monkey discrimination ... • Cycling: Tour de France, stage 12,Lavelanet to Narbonne, France (8 p.m., ET). Welcome to Narbonne. Please pee in this cup. [Versus] • Major League Lacrosse: All-Star Game, at Denver (10 p.m., ET). Men with sticks....

British Open co-leader? Rocco F'in Mediate
Fresh off his one-stroke 18 hole playoff loss to Tiger, the man, the myth, the legend, Rocco Mediate clocked in his first round at -1. So if you had a dream that man boobs were going to own the British Open and you rushed to Vegas to lay your money on Phil, you picked the wrong tits....

Maple Bats: Wooden Death Clubs Of Chaos
The Florida Sun-Sentinel (via SBB) has an amusing slideshow of broken bats whizzing into the stands, featuring unsuspecting victims, bloody fans, and plenty of men making terrified faces as the splintered swords come hurling at them....