at Page 2385 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Why, Red Sox Nation? Why?
What do you do if you're a group of Red Sox fans who spot a car stopped in traffic that happens to have New York Yankees license plates? (Keep in mind that there are at least two children in the car). Answer: You surround the vehicle, vandalize it, and then beat the driver with a baseball bat. That ...

Aaron Rowand Is The Illusionist
Well, the All-Star rosters are complete, except for one spot on each team. Internet voting to determine those last two spots ends on Thursday at 2 p.m. PST, and Aaron Rowand of the San Francisco Giants would like your vote. Following the jump you will find his campaign video. The action is from Frid...

No Homo: The NFL Joke of Choice
Professional sports locker rooms are one of the last bastions for gay humor. That's because there's never been any gay athletes. So, you see, the very idea of anyone being gay is always funny. Which brings me to the first big scoop of my illustrious Deadspin career: The phrase "No Homo" has taken ov...

Thank You New Zealand, For Making Rugby Fun Again
Rugby or porn? Previously, New Zealand TV viewers had to choose. But on Sunday someone apparently decided, why can't we have both? So for nearly four glorious minutes, a "Grass Roots Rugby" match on Sky TV — which I suppose is cable over there — was suddenly replaced with hardcore porn. Key sentence...

It's Time Once Again To Run With Those Sweet, Cuddly Bulls
It probably won't surprise you that the guy pictured here receiving a very special kind of goring is from Philadelphia. Yes, it's time once again for the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona, Spain, where each year Darwin has himself a few laughs while thinning out the human herd. But this year, a twist...

C.C. Sabathia On His Way To Milwaukee
Or so says everyone from Cleveland, to Milwaukee, to Buster Olneyville. The Cleveland Indians, who at the beginning of the season thought they'd be able to compete, have officially moved white-flagged it by shuttling their number one starter with the crooked cap to the Milwaukee Brewers for power-ba...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you tearfully raise your fist with pride and chant "USA! USA!" ... • Major League Soccer: Houston at Real Salt Lake (10 p.m., ET). How to change the station without using my hands? [ESPN2] • Motor sports: NASCAR Sprint Cup, Coke Zero 400, practice, at Daytona Beach, Fla (4 p.m. and ...

The Seattle Sonics Could Not Be Saved
Sonics Owner Clay Bennett is a jowly-faced bastard. I'm doing him a favor by calling him that because that’ s probably one of the kinder things he'll be called from now on by heartbroken Seattle residents, who after two years of thinking their beloved 41-year-old franchise would stick around if they...

Olympic Criminals Are No Match For The Chinese Scooter Police
You may think that you're a clever subversive, plotting to wreak mayhem at the Olympic Games. But you didn't count on the Glorious People's Scooter Police. Hands up, terrorist dogs! Hey, no fair fleeing over that slightly uneven terrain! Come back here!...

This Is The *Ball That Will Grace The Hall
Dan Patrick's radio show this afternoon was very Bonds branded-ball heavy, grabbing baseball HOF president Jeff Idelson on for a few minutes to talk about how they finally wrestled the piece of history away from Marc Ecko. Lucky for them, the HOF was kind enough to send them a picture of the infamo...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after trading sex for gasoline ... • Boxing: Heavyweights, Brian Minto vs. John Poore, at Butler, Pa. (9 p.m., ET). I've never heard of these guys, so they must be good. [ESPN2] • MLB: Boston at Tampa Bay (7 p.m., ET). This series is getting virtually no publicity. [ESPN] • Swimming: U...

Stay Classy, Red Sox Nation
In case you missed this in our early-morning video montage, a reminder that the Red Sox and their fans are secure with their recent championships, and do not begrudge other up-and-coming teams a little success of their own....

Chris Snyder Would Not Like To Be A Member Of This Club
There seems to be an overabundance of sports-related testicle injuries over the past three months. First it was Felix Pie's "twisted testicle", then Flyers' winger Patrick Thoresen's severe testicle bruising and, now, most horrifying of them all, Arizona Diamondbacks' catcher Chris Snyder's "f...

Hey Kids! Look Who's Back!
Has it really been two years since Harold Reynolds was jettisoned from the ESPN Star Destroyer? It's been a long, strange trip over that span — including many skirmishes with the WWL, and a coveted Deadspin SHOTY nomination with us — but now our man is finally back on national TV. TBS brought him on...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while bidding on a potato ... • Swimming: U.S. Olympic trials, at Omaha (8 p.m., ET). Katie Hoff > Aquaman. [USA] • MLB: Mets at Cardinals (8:15 p.m., ET). What fresh Hell for Mets' fans now? [SNY] [FSN] • MLB: Red Sox at Rays (7:10 p.m., ET). Joe Maddon controls space and time. [NESN]...

Dwyane Wade Becomes Unwitting Spokesman In China
Dwyane Wade's plummet from fresh-faced NBA megastar to injury-prone cellphone salesman continues on its downward spiral, as the Miami Heat guard has popped up as the new face of Chinese-based "Sueper Sex", a pre-intercourse "time delay capsule" according to Black Sports Online. (Via Sports Business ...

Warriors To Be Decidedly Less Whiskery In 2009
OK, it's not a lock that Baron Davis is leaving the Warriors. But by opting out of the final year of his contract — leaving $17.8 million on the table in the process — it's pretty clear that there was more to that dustup with Don Nelson in the Phoenix game than we were told. But while that may be tr...

Jelena Jankovic Not Doing Any Splits After Today's Performance
Not a good week for highly-ranked Serbian women, as third-ranked superstar Jelena Jankovic went down in the fourth round this morning at Wimbledon. Jankovic, known for her salty toughness and her love of Lita Ford's wardrobe, was bounced by the 60th ranked player in early morning action....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as a new era dawns ... • Arena Football League: Playoffs, wild-card round: Orlando at Cleveland (7 p.m., ET); Grand Rapids at Arizona (9:30 p.m., ET). Let's go on a Rampage! [ESPN2] • MLB: New York Mets at St. Louis (7 p.m., ET). Kyle Lohse goes for 10th win. Will goes for 11th jumbo p...

Tropicana Field's Homeland Security Set To "Red" For Black, Latin Red Sox
The Boston Red Sox and Tampa Bay Rays are spirited combatants on the field, and after the most recent Coco Crisp/James Shields donnybrook, tensions are running extremely high going into this series. But, this time around, the Sox have much more to worry about than a Scott Kazmir fastball to the ear...