at Page 2401 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Patriots Plan On Doing The Faux Perfection Thing Again
It's a grand sports capitalist tradition to trademark a team's or an individual's achievements. Pat Riley grabbed "Threepeat;" Dennis Green, displaying a self-awareness we wouldn't have anticipated, snatched up "They are who we thought they were." The New England Patriots were all over this last ye...

Everyone In Boston Is Already Drunk
We're not enough of a Bostonite to understand that full drunken social significance of Patriots Day, but we assume we'll have a smaller Boston readership today; they're all out drinking like crazy and screaming for Kenyans to run faster. Difficult to argue with that....

Fukudome Flattered That Cubs Fans Want Him to House The Sandwich Of Investing Sockdrawer
Kosuke Fukudome sure has been a nice investment for the Chicago Cubs, hasn't it? And the cultural movement has swept up the north side of Chicago. The transition from Japan to America has been almost seamless (.317 average, .442 on-base percentage) for him, but the fans haven't quite gotten it down ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while making your girlfriend more realistic... • 6:00 p.m. — NBA Playoffs: 76ers at Pistons, Game 1. 8:30 p.m. — NBA Playoffs: Hawks at Celtics, Game 1. Known to the highbrow basketball fans as the weekend's denouement. [TNT] • 8:00 p.m. — MLB: Mets at Phillies. Everything New York wan...

Danica Patrick No Longer A Pretty Girl Who Can't Win Races
It feels like it took longer than Phil Mickelson's first major, but the petite open-wheeled racer finally reached the checkered flag before a bunch of chauvinistic war-starting toilet-seat-leaving-up booze-crazed horndogs in Japan this weekend, becoming the first female to win a major auto racing ev...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while using science to control the female mind, then going home and heating up a TV dinner... • 7:00 p.m. — NBA Playoffs: Dallas Mavericks at New Orleans Hornets, Game 1. There's a new rule in New Orleans. No billionaires are allowed to enter the locker room. They claim it's not an edi...

Coming To Grips With Blogging A Double Life
After what went down at the Washington Post this week, it prompted many aliased bloggers to wonder how bosses at their places of employment — be it a newspaper, law firm, or porn store — would respond if they caught wind of their sassy sports site. Not me, though. I have no alias. But I do have a jo...

About Last Night...
What you missed while questioning Abe Lincoln's patriotism... • MLB: Tuckered out from 22 innings the night before, Rockies beat Astros 11-5 in their sleep. Or Houston's sleep. Either way. • NHL: Franzen comes alive in overtime with winning goal; Wings beat Predators 2-1. • NBA: Oklahoma 28, Seattle...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch with Gary Busey, who will be sleeping on your couch for a couple of weeks ... • Boxing: Kevin Johnson vs. Terry Smith, at Miami, Okla., (9 p.m., ET, same-day tape). Another new twist in Lost? [ESPN2] • Motor Sports: IndyCar Series, Firestone IndyCar 300, at Motegi, Japan (midnight, ET)...

Is Star Jones In Dwyane Wade's Five?
Chances are this isn't even remotely close to being true, but it's so preposterous and gross that it's at least somewhat amusing. The always reliable gossip site Mediatakeout is reporting that Miami Heat's injured forward Dwyane Wade is (blecch) now (plettch) dating (claggh) the saggy old remains of...

Marty Brennaman Is Unlikely To Receive A Statue Outside Wrigley Field
Marty Brennaman has been the voice of the Cincinnati Reds since 1974, taking over for, of all people, Al Michaels. He's a legacy broadcaster, like the Bucks and the Carays; his son Thom is a FOX broadcaster, works with him in Cincinnati and was once a Cubs broadcaster. Oh, yes, the Cubs: It appears ...

Media Approval Ratings: Dan Le Batard
Dan Le Batard still writes columns occasionally. You might miss them, but they're out there. But mostly, yeah, he's a TV and radio guy. Who sometimes wears funny hats....

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Pope Benedict XVI Needs To Borrow Your Cup
Close observers of the Catholic religion know that the Pope will always come up throwing after a diving catch; unless it's the final out of an inning, of course. In that case, His Most Holy Father will make sure that the umpire sees the ball in his mitt. Another Papal web gem! I can't count the numb...

Free Darko On Boston-Atlanta
We're looking at every NBA Playoff series through the eyes of both Free Darko and Basket Bawful. Here's Free Darko's look at the Boston Celtics-Atlanta Hawks series. Your author is Bethlehem Shoals....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while remembering Seals Stadium ... • NHL: Playoffs, Eastern Conference quarterfinals, Game 4, Washington at Philadelphia (7 p.m., ET), Western Conference quarterfinals, Game 5, Calgary at San Jose (10 p.m., ET). Flame on! [Versus] • Soccer: MLS, Columbus at D.C. United (8 p.m., ET). Q...

Mark Littell, The Nutty Buddy, Is Completely Nuts
Two days ago, I emailed Mark Littell, former major leaguer and creator of the Nutty Buddy to see if he'd comment on that story I was working on about Flyers center Patrick Thoresen and the dangers of pucks (or anything) to the groin, etc. I told him (or, rather, the Nutty Buddy crack email team) tha...

We Won't Even Talk About The Pirate Ship On His Ass
All we really know about Mr. John Herold here is that he was arrested for trespassing on Feb. 1, 2008, somewhere in Florida. Now, seeing that the Tampa Bay Buccaneers' season ended on Jan. 6, we have to assume that those are permanent tattoos, right? Must have seemed like a good idea at the time. Su...

Roethlisberger Attempts To Renew Classic Steelers/Cowboys Rivalry
Perhaps he was coaxed into saying it by a sound bite-hungry Mike Tirico and Michelle Tafoya. Maybe he was just trying to make the December 7 game between the Cowboys and Steelers a little more melodramatic. Whatever the reason, Big Ben Roethlisberger, drinking champion and clumsy motorcyclist, has s...

Chad Johnson's Attitude Reaches New Level Of Stinko-ness
It was only a couple years ago when Bengals' wide receiver Chad Johnson was cause celebre to NFL fans; his defiance against the league for his wacky endzone celebrations seemed harmless and amusing, even if it did cost his team the occasional 15-yard penalty. He was also quotable, seemingly self-awa...