at Page 2436 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
When The Saints Go Golfing
It's hard to imagine that less than 12 months ago these two teams were meeting for a chance to play in the Super Bowl. Seriously, they were. I looked it up! Devin Hester (The Jester Molester) returned a 64 yard punt, Neckbeard Orton threw the ball like he was throwing back girly cocktails, and just ...
For Your Sunday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
Non-Football TV • All day — 2007 World's Strongest Man Competition [ESPN] • 1:00 — Classic NHL: Canucks at Flames, Game 7 of '89 Smythe Division semifinals [ESPNC] • 1:00 — Payback [TBS] • 2:00 — Off-Road Racing: Baja 1000 [NBC] • 2:00 — Die Hard With A Vengeance [SPIKE] • 3:00 — Golf: PGA Tour 2007...
NFL Roundup: The Perfect Pats
I'd like to extend my sincerest thanks to the NFL for allowing me to watch last night's football game. In fact, If Greg Bryant Gumbel hadn't been calling the action; I might have even considered it one of the most entertaining games I'd ever watched. (Seriously, he blows.) Did I jump off my couch wh...
Can The Giants Slay The Giant?
Better bust out the good potato chips for this one, folks. Instant history kind of demands an "All-Dressed" rippled. The Patriots close out their 2007 regular season against the New York Giants tonight as they attempt to become the fourth team in the NFL's 88-year history to finish a regular season ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while building a castle made entirely of new socks ... • NFL: New England at New York Giants (8:00 p.m., ET). Finally a chance to use that damn picture-in-picture feature. [CBS and NBC] • College Football: Alamo Bowl: Penn State vs. Texas A&M, at San Antonio (8:00 p.m., ET). Yes, yes, ...
For Your Saturday Afternoon Viewing Pleasure
• In progress — College Basketball: Wisconsin at Texas [ESPN2] • 1:00 — Meineke Car Care Bowl: Connecticut at Wake Forest [ESPN] • 1:00 — Classic MLB: Orioles at Yankees, Game 1 of '96 ALCS [ESPNC] • 1:00 — White Men Can't Jump [A&E] • 2:00 — Classic MLB: Royals at Yankees, 1983 "Pine Tar" Game [ESP...
How Do You Like 'Dem Apples, Riley?
My Christmas holiday summed up in five words or less: Clementines, Toblerones and beer. No joke. A million thanks to Alphonso Jackson, Nancy K. Kopp and, of course, Rick Chandler for filling in while I was gone. Your 'Body Shop' gift certificates are in the mail. Now, on to the NBA Closer!...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you realize that you're a myth and Bigfoot is real ... • Boxing: Heavyweights, Dominic "Fainting Spell" Guinn vs. Robert "The Missouri Migraine" Hawkins, Vancouver, British Columbia (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN2] • College football: Champs Sports Bowl, Boston College vs. Michigan State, Orlan...
Oh Gosh Todd, You Shouldn't Have Said That
Male cheerleaders have their place in life, we suppose. Who else can we mock mercilessly and string up by the heels from flagpoles? I mean, who else who can't fight back? We laugh at their spiffy routines and tight-fitting sweater-and-slacks combinations, occasionally one becomes President, and life...
David Beckham Secure In His Manhood/Wears Ballet Shoes
Yes dammit, David Beckham is a metrosexual. Let him shout it from the rooftops! At last he is free, FREE! La la la la la la (skips away, stripping off clothing). In an interview on British radio on Monday, Beckham not only said that he is proud to be a gay icon, but that his wife dresses him. Oh, th...
Fumble! Everybody On It, Including Stepsons
By now, you've probably heard about Chris Jessie, Mack Brown's stepson who stupidly grabbed a loose fumble last night during Texas' thumping of Arizona State in the Holiday Bowl. It's pretty entertaining....
Blog Fight! Blog Fight!
Skeets, who was horribly trampled by adolescent goats while visiting the petting zoo, is still inactive and will be back next week. Today's Closer is written by Rick Chandler, Submersible Operations Coordinator at the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution ......
To Watch Tonight
What to watch on your new TV that is larger than the actual playing field being televised ... • College football: Pacific Life Holiday Bowl, Arizona State vs. Texas, at San Diego (8 p.m., ET) Let the Pac-10 Holiday Bowl humiliation continue. [ESPN] • College basketball: Nevada at North Carolina (7 p...
Sadly, We Won't Get Another MSG Trial
Apparently, the folks over at Madison Square Garden are finally learning a lesson or two: They're settling their sexual harassment lawsuits before they turn into public relations armageddons....
Presenting The Deadspin Word Of The Year
"Attention: It's 5 p.m., and the San Francisco Zoo is now closed. If you are still here by 5:15, we will release the tigers. Thank you." Yes, a tiger got loose at the SF Zoo on Tuesday, mauling three people, one of whom died. Tragic, to be sure; but imagine the mayhem if it would have been a Fuck Li...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after your long trek home ... • College football: How ya doin in your bowl pool? (7:30 p.m., ET) [ESPN] • NHL: Maple Leafs at Islanders (7:30 p.m., ET) Everyone gets this station. Right? [NHL Network] • NBA: Milwaukee at Denver (9 p.m., ET) Why not order in some Chinese? [Altitude]...