at Page 2491 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Yet Another Great Reason To Live In Portland
Before we talk about the disappointment of all the teams who didn't win the first or second pick in last night's NBA Draft Lottery, let's look at the team that did win, the Portland Trail Blazers. (The official favorite team of Henry Abbott at True Hoop, who was at the lottery last night and, amusin...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while hiding from the flying robot police ... • MLB: New York Mets at Atlanta. The most humid rivalry in sports. [TBS] • NBA: Draft lottery, at Secaucus, N.J.; Western Conference finals, Utah at San Antonio, Game 2. You know which one you care about watching more. [ESPN] • NHL: Western...
How To Make Love To That Team's Biggest Fan
In one of those perfect ideas that make the Internets such a blessing on our daily lives, Every Day Should Be Saturday and Ladies ... have come up a guide to seducing a particular team's fan. Want to know how to bed that Cardinals fan? What do you say to a Knicks fan to sneak 'em in the sack? How do...
JoePa Will Put Your Ass To Work
We love Joe Paterno. Whereas many coaches would discipline their players for a campus fight by suspending them or — more likely — not doing anything at all, the Penn State legend is forcing them to clean the inside of the stadium....
You Dissed Kenny! You Bastards!
The "political" blog Newsbusters has been watching SportsCenter lately, and the folks there are calling shenanigans on tanned, nimble-footed ESPN personality Kenny Mayne. The site puts it thusly:...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11:15 a.m. Baseball with Joe Morgan: How about, just once, cooking with Joe Morgan? • 1:30 p.m. SC Special, Draft Lottery: We assume this is the NBA Draft, because the alternative is too scary to contemplate. • 2 p.m. NASCAR with Terry...
We'd Classify This As A Waste Of Beer
With Leather had this yesterday, but it's too beautiful not to share with you as well: It's Port-a-John racing, in which you run on top of portable urinals and have beers thrown at you. This is exactly what our parents' wedding was like. This is from the Preakness ... of course....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch WATCHING JOHN RAMBO... • AFL: New Orleans at Philadelphia. Much, much better than the lawnmower races. [ESPN2] • MLB: Boston at New York Yankees. Some sort of rivalry exists, we read somewhere. [ESPN] • NBA: Eastern Conference finals, Cleveland at Detroit, Game 1. This just in: LeBron ...
Someone In Oklahoma Is Sad
The great folks at Post Secret — via Burnt Orange Nation — have dug up this little mailing, which features a sad, scorned lover of an Oklahoma football player lamenting the need for their union to remain a secret. Oklahoma last won a national championship in 2000, which theoretically narrows it down...
Welcome, Jezebel: Turn To The Worship Of Her God Baal
The classy, bombastic lovely ladies seen here are the editors of the newest site from our benevolent benefactors at Gawker Media, Jezebel, which launched today. The basic premise of the site is mapped out in a manifesto about the five biggest lies that women's magazines spew. Personally, we've alway...
Fun With Ambidexterity: It's Pat!
A while back we told you about Creighton's Pat Venditte, whose main claim to fame — besides being a college junior who looks like he's 12 — is that he can pitch with both hands. OK, perhaps not that impressive when you put him next to the Amazing Rubber Boy, but we have trouble picking up a fork lef...
You Just Can't Keep Chris Henry Down
You know, we're starting to think that Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry might have a bit of a self-control issue....
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. Baseball with Steve Phillips: If every baseball fan chipped in a couple of bucks, couldn't we match the Yankees' offer and keep Clemens out of baseball? • 2 p.m. NBA Insider John Hollinger: If David Stern had ever been in a fight...
Clinton Portis Has Ron Mexico's Back
Ron Mexico might be going through a particularly difficult time right now, but it's worth noting that he has one significant booster: Deadspin Hall of Famer Clinton Portis. He'd just like you and your ilk to leave Mr. Vick and his puppies alone....
Fortunately, Nobody Wants To Watch A Playoff Overtime
As MJD pointed out yesterday, NBC, amazingly, cut away from the Senators-Sabres Game 5 overtime yesterday to show ... the first two hours of the Preakness prerace coverage. That's right: Rather than show the most exciting part of an entire hockey season, NBC chose to show Bob Costas interview people...
In The Face Of Breaking Wind, You've Just Got To Soldier On
Click Here for more great videos and pictures!...
To Watch Tonight...
• 8:00, ESPN. MLB. New York Yankees @ New York Mets. Tyler Clippard, to the rescue. • 8:00, FX. Movie. Dodgeball. I was never a huge fan of this one. I just kinda wanted to punch that pirate guy. • 8:00, Comedy Central. Movie. Office Space. You know, the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the ...
To Watch Tonight...
• 7:00, Speed. NASCAR. Nextel Cup: Nextel All-Star Challenge. Is there a dunk contest involved in this? • 8:30, Fox Soccer. MLS. New England Revolution @ Houston Dynamo. Yeah ... this isn't a big sports night....
John Denver Would Be So Proud
I post this as a favor to the students and fans of the University of Montana football team. If any of you were out there thinking, "Oh, that's so embarrassing," please allow West Fuckin' Virginia to steal a little bit of your thunder....
Bengal Arrested ... Blah Blah Blah
I would've gotten to this sooner, but I thought it was probably a good idea to wait a few hours, see if any other Bengals got arrested, and then combine them into one post. Alas, they put together an unprecedented 12-hour streak of good behavior....