at Page 2503 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Crack Of The Bat, The Middle Finger Of Pat Burrell
With the start of the 2007/2008 MLB season just hours away now, everyone's thoughts turn to how beautiful the game can be ... the crack of the bat, the roar of the crowd, the green grass, the fathers and sons in the stands with their mitts, and the asshole in the Phillies dugout gesturing to opposin...

Buckeyes Tend To Look Old
The man on the left, Ohio State head coach That Matta, is two years younger than the man on the right, Florida coach Billy Donovan. There must be something in the water in Columbus that ages people prematurely. At this time next year, Mike Conley Jr. is going to look like Laurence Fishburne....

One Of These Men Does Not Play Basketball
The guy in the middle sent this picture into us ... some of the Florida Gators were nice enough to pose for a shot with him at a TGI Friday's last June. It's weird that Taurean Green, Al Horford, and Corey Brewer all smile politely for the camera, while Joakim Noah stands there with no expression on...

That Was A Dress Rehearsal, Right?
It was just so thoroughly disappointing. I won't believe that the hype was unwarranted; it absolutely was. All the ingredients were there for a fantastic evening of basketball, but it never happened. It was never what it should have been. I feel like I just watched The Godfather III....

The Final Four Open Thread
I'm afraid I won't be with you for tonight's basketball festivities — I decided to try actually watching a game without a keyboard in front of me. I don't know what that's going to be like, but I've heard it's wild....

To Watch Tonight...
• Movie. The Rookie. Dennis Quaid was born to play old athletes. 8:00, ABC. • College Basketball. NCAA Tournament. Ohio State vs. Florida. Where Dennis Quaid stars in the role of Greg Oden. 6:07, CBS. • College Basketball. NCAA Tournament. Florida vs. UCLA. Half of the nation will have night terrors...

American Gladiators, You Have Been Missed
If you're struggling to find something to help pass the time before this evening's festival of basketball, I can't recommend ESPN Classic strongly enough right now. We're in the midst of a 7-episode American Gladiators marathon, starring Zap, Gemini, Malibu, Sunny, Joe Theismann, and a contestant na...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after a couple of drinks, a nice steak and a parking lot beatdown at O'Charley's ... • Boxing: Mary Jo Sanders vs. Valerie Mahfood, for IBA women's middleweight title, from Detroit. C-c-c-ca-ca-ca catfight! [ESPN2] • Baseball: Chicago Cubs vs. Seattle, exhibition, at Las Vegas. Just tr...

Cultural Oddsmaker: What'll Be The Next Disgusting Act During A Sporting Event?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

Your NL Central "Preview"
Look, guys: We didn't pick the Cardinals! (We still think they'll win the wild card.) Yes, our flirtation with the Brewers continues; we actually picked them to win the wild card at midseason last year. So there's that....

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 2 p.m. NASCAR with David Newton: Hey, what smells like burning oil? Are you wearing cologne? • 3 p.m. American Gladiators' Nitro: Is the Universe infinite in spatial extent? And what is the topology of space? • 4 p.m. Rush QB Matt D'Or...

Your NL East "Preview"
We should probably warn you: The Phillies are one of those teams we pick to win the National League East a lot. If you haven't noticed, they haven't won the NL East in a long, long time. But we're gonna try again anyway....

Your AL West "Preview"
All right, last one of the day until tomorrow ... we think this is actually the easiest division to pick, which is why, obviously, we're going to have it entirely wrong....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Grover from Sesame Street discovers a cancer cure ... • College basketball: MasterCard National Invitation Tournament, championship game, West Virginia vs. Clemson at New York. Or, the play-in game to face the Niagara in the NCAA Tournament. [ESPN] • NBA: Detroit at Chicago; Phoenix...

Gus Johnson: Get On The Dance Floor!
Because the NCAA Tournament is never quite the same once Gus Johnson leaves — a week earlier this year, dammit — someone who knows how to use that audio software on your computer that we never understand has put together a Gus Johnson remix, featuring some of his greatest moments set to one of them ...

Your AL Central "Preview"
Everyone says it's the toughest division in baseball, but we think it's just the mostly hotly contested: You could pretty much interchange any of those top four teams and not sounds like a fool. But those Royals ......

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 2 p.m. MLS w/ KC's GK Kevin Hartman: Just to make you feel at home, we'll mill around on the other side of the Internet ignoring you completely, OK? • 3 p.m. Final Four with Mark Schlabach: Next Florida coach ... Jim Harrick? • 3 p.m. ...

"The Ball Is Tipped ..."
Because we are just more than two days away from the Final Four, we thought we'd all work ourselves up into a sappy, cheesy frenzy with the good ole "One Shining Moment." Never before has something so horrible felt so, so right. (Note: Everything horrible feels right, actually.)...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while your dog eats steak and truffles ... • NBA: Houston at Los Angeles Clippers. One day the Clippers will be good, and all people will travel to appointments with personal rocket jet packs. [ESPN] • Prep basketball: McDonald's All-American Game, at Louisville. Welcome to the creepie...

We Welcome Our New Ultimate Fighting Championships Overlords
The owners of Ultimate Fighting Championships want to take over the world. With their acquisition of Japan's Pride Fighting Championships now complete, they've got their eyes on the big time pay-per-view market; and you know, with savvy sports insights such as demonstrated in the quote below, how ca...